This is Not a Journal
by PenguinBuddy
Summary: James Potter writes in an idea notebook about all of the creative methods he uses to ask Lily Evans out. How far will James go to win her heart? Find Counterpart to In This Journal. Complete! Written pre-HBP/DH
1. A Beginning

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Disclaimer:** I am not J.K Rowling and therefore do not own Harry Potter.

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**Beta by:** ilovethedotgame

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**Chapter One: A Beginning by penguin'n'tales**

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**This chapter is dedicated to my Beta reader, ilovethedotgame, for her support of my stories and her enthusiasm in editing.**

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**For those of you who have not read, "In This Journal" (which is Lily's journal), "This is Not a Journal" should be able to stand alone as a separate story, but I would advise reading "In This Journal" because it gives a very different perspective of things.**

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This is not a journal. It is an idea notebook. And in this notebook, I, James Potter, am going to write down ideas on how to ask Lily Evans out and then record the results.  
  
This whole idea notebook thing is a bit on the strange side, but I had an empty book and I have nothing else to do with it, so why not write about how wonderful Lily Evans is?   
  
If you were to describe Evans in one word it would be perfect. She has red hair; my favorite color is red. She has green eyes; I like green eyes. And red and green are Christmas colors, and I like Christmas. Evans comes to all the quidditch matches so I can only assume that she must enjoy it, and there's another thing I like. I'm proud to say that I am a Chaser on the Gryffindor House team. I hope to be Captain someday... say next year.  
  
Back to Evans. She's very pretty and I'm not the only one who thinks so. Only half of the male population wants to date her. She's all mine though, or will be anyway, when I ask her out.   
  
I have a brilliant plan all laid out. The Halloween Feast is coming up tomorrow and I'm going to stand up and ask her out in front of everyone. Sirius claims that girls like attention in that way, so I'll give it to her.

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She said no! How dare she? People just don't say no to me. That sounded really stuck up, I know, but it's just a fact of life. I'm an only child, only grandchild on both sides and I'm good at a lot of stuff, so 'no' is not a word I'm used to hearing.   
  
But she said it! The first time I asked, she completely ignored me, and the second time she said no and stomped on my foot! It hurt too! I think I have a bruise now.   
  
Why won't she go out with me? I'm a likeable guy, aren't I? I've never had any trouble getting a girl to go out with me before, why now, when I really want to date Evans, is she saying no?

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Sirius thinks I've completely lost it; he reckons that Evans is all wrong for me. Obviously, I disagree. Evans is perfect for me. I'll get her someday; I know it.   
  
Remus hasn't exactly come out and said his feelings on the matter, but I can tell that he's of the same opinion as Sirius. Maybe he still likes Evans, he sort of fancied her last year...I thought he's gotten over her, maybe not.

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What did I ever, ever do to her? She's avoiding me and sending me nasty looks. Did I insult her hair once? Or maybe she was an innocent bystander in a prank that went wrong? Whatever it was, I don't know because she won't tell me and neither will her friends. Remus says that I'm supposed to figure it out myself. Isn't he so helpful?

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Well, that was a productive hour spent in Arithmancy. I spent it staring at the back of Evans's head. Sirius, my best mate in the whole wide world, decided to throw paper at her and her friends. Her friend Alice is quick with a wand and cast a shielding charm on all of them so that they were protected from the flying paper.  
  
On her way out of the class, Alice approached me and dropped at the paper bits that Sirius had thrown at her on our heads. Let me just say this: White paper scraps and black hair really don't go together. According to Peter, another of my friends, it looked like we had really bad cases of dandruff.

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Quidditch has to be the best sport in the entire world. Today was the first quidditch match of the year. It was against Slytherin, my favorite. I love to beat them into the ground, the slimy gits.   
  
Evans attended with her friends; I could see her up in the stands amongst a group of girls all waving Gryffindor pennants. Sad to say, she didn't have a pennant, but she was there none-the-less.   
  
I decided to ask her out after the game. I flew over to her on my broom after we had won and magnified my voice so that everyone in the stadium could hear.  
  
In response, she threw her shoe at me. I dodged it easily; she doesn't exactly have the best aim the world. I pocketed the shoe and it's going to be my lucky charm. I'll bring it to all of my games.

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Remus told me that he doesn't like Evans anymore, but I have my doubts.   
  
Remus: "No, I don't fancy Lily anymore."  
  
Me: "Are you sure? I saw you looking at her today in Potions."  
  
Remus: "James, I was her partner! How could I not look at her?"  
  
Me: "Well...if you're sure..."  
  
Remus: "I am, Prongs. Lily doesn't mean a thing to me."  
  
Me: "Good."

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Today, I kissed Evans.   
  
Oh, Merlin, it was good.  
  
We were on our way to Charms when I saw some mistletoe floating over her head. There were a couple of guys eyeing her so I took it as my duty to keep her from them.  
  
She was really surprised at first, and didn't object, but then she seemed to realize what was happening and quickly pulled away.   
  
Behind me, my friends were laughing and her friend Hestia looked like she was going to crack a smile. Personally, I was in heaven just then. Evans, on the other hand, looked livid.   
  
Evans: "Potter! You prat! What did you do that for?"  
  
Me: "It's custom."  
  
Evans: "What?"  
  
Potter: "Mistletoe."   
  
She looked up, saw the plant and immediately pulled out her wand and vanished it. The moment she took her wand out, Filch turned the corner.   
  
You have to admit, it was kind of funny. I swear, that man has some sort of built in radar to tell if students have their wands out. Filch gave her detention Friday night. Evans didn't think it was very funny though. She looked like she was going to cry, actually.  
  
One detention and her world crumbles! I've had...well, I've had a lot of detentions and I'm still alive. What does she think is going to happen? It's not as though detention is that bad.  
  
I tried to make her feel better by asking her out. She said no.

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Remus says that I should apologize to Evans for getting her into detention. But, I didn't do anything! She's the one who used magic in the hallway! I just kissed her, big deal.

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Well, that didn't go well.  
  
Tonight was the night of Evans' detention so I waited up for her to apologize.   
  
I said that I was sorry, and she seemed to appreciate it and was being nice to me. Wow, what a concept!  
  
I then asked her out and she stormed off to her room in a huff. What did I do now?

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Evans's friend, Alice, came up to me today and wanted to have a word. I wasn't sure what she wanted, but I followed her to the library and sat down at a table with her.   
  
Alice: "James, did you make that mistletoe appear over Lily's head?"  
  
Me: "No!"   
  
But that's not a bad idea...I'll have to keep that in mind.  
  
Alice: "Seriously James, Lily's really upset about it."  
  
Me: "Why? I wasn't that bad of a kisser was I?"  
  
Alice: "Oh, Merlin...I don't know if I should be telling you this, but...that was her first kiss James."  
  
Me: "So?"  
  
It was mine, too, for that matter. But don't tell anyone, I have a reputation to uphold after all.  
  
Alice: "So? A girls first kiss is supposed to be special and you ruined it for her."  
  
Me: "I ruined it? How?"  
  
Alice: "You kissed her, that's how."  
  
Well, some other guy would have gotten to her first if I hadn't made my move. And then where would she be? Kissed by some guy she doesn't even know. At least I'm in the same year as her and a Gryffindor. It was an act of kindness really. I don't see why I'm practically being shunned for it.

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What is it about Evans? She gets upset about the stupidest things.   
  
So I hexed some girl to moo? She was being annoying, so I stopped her. I was going to take the spell off her soon anyway. Evans didn't have to be act like I was some sort of bully. It's like she wants to make me look bad....

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I hope you enjoyed the first chapter! Feel free to review! 


	2. A Chivalrous Stalker

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing but my Harry Potter books and a pencil. Don't sue!

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**Beta by:** ilovethedotgame

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**Chapter Two: A Chivalrous Stalker**

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To everyone out there, I am so sorry for not updating sooner! My computer broke...again...so I wasn't able to update. My computer is still not fixed and I'm actually doing this at the library. I felt so bad that I wasn't to update for you guys that I convinced my mom to let me to it here. In two days I'm going on vacation and then I'm going to camp after that, so it will be a while before I get to update again. I have stuff written, so as soon as I get back, I'll update!

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Note to Self: When this map gets finished, use it to track down Lily Evans.

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I love this map. It's the best thing that's happened to me since I don't know when. All I have to do is open it up, say "I solemnly swear that I am up to no good," and presto! In my hands I have a highly detailed map of Hogwarts and the surrounding school grounds. We (Sirius, Remus, Peter and I) drew it ourselves in our spare time. We've been collecting information for this map for years, and finally, with the information we've gathered this year, it is complete. Okay, so it's not completely done, but we've fixed it so that we can add new things and make revisions anytime. It's just a matter of knowing what to do.   
  
Now, this map is quite unusual. It can tell me where teachers are, where Filch is, and where the Slytherins are so I can avoid them. It can also tell me where Lily Evans is, so I can run into her by "accident". Not literally run into her, mind you, just...be wherever she happens to be.Remus reckons that I'm stalking Evans, but I don't think so. Wanting to be where she is doesn't make me a stalker.

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Yesterday, I was sitting idly in my dorm room being bored, so I pulled out the map, which we have decided to call The Marauder's Map. I scanned the parchment, looking for a certain Gryffindor redhead and there she was, in the library. So, I hurried down to the library so I could catch her before she left.   
  
The map told me that she was in the back of the library, apparently looking for a book. Well, the map didn't tell me she was looking for a book; I assumed that. I mean, what else would she be doing in a library?   
  
I found her straining to reach a book that was on a shelf way over her head, so I asked which book she was trying to reach. She ignored me, as usual, and continued her fruitless attempts.   
  
Finally, she gave up, and asked me to get Where There's a Wand, There's a Way for her. I realized that I was annoying her, but I was having fun. So, I held the book above my head and said that in exchange for the book, she had to go out with me.   
  
She pleaded with me for a couple of minutes before she decided that kicking me in the shins was the best way to get what she wanted.   
  
Does she have metal plates in the toes of her shoes? I'd like to know, because that really hurt! Another bruise obtained by trying to ask Evans out. Just my luck.

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She actually thinks that ignoring me and pretending I don't exist will solve her troubles. I laugh at her.

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I like Hagrid. I've known him since the second day of school when I was assigned to have detention with him. I had to help him gather some plants that the potions teacher needed. He often invited the guys and me down to his hut for tea, and the other day, I received an invitation.   
  
Normally, I would have told the guys that we were invited, but I noticed, with my super radar vision, that Evans had also received a letter from Hagrid. It was too good to pass up!   
  
So, later that day, I positioned myself at a strategic spot in the common room where I could see Evans as she left. Evans decided to take her friend Hestia (who I dated once, don't ask) with her, so I followed them to the main entrance of the castle and then waited until they were safely inside Hagrid's before going up to the door myself.   
  
When Hagrid opened the door to admit me, Evans choked into her tea and dropped her biscuit. Hestia caught the biscuit before it hit the ground and slapped Evans on the back a few times. With the same hand that held the biscuit, how smart was that?  
  
I had a nice time at Hagrid's as I always do, and I had an especially nice time since Evans was there. Not that she talked me, but she was there, and that's enough for me.   
  
I hope I run into her there again.   
  
On our way back to the school, I decided to take a chance and ask Evans out. Do I even need to say what her answer was?   
  
Someday her answer will be yes.   
  
Someday.

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Hogsmeade has to be one of the best places in all Britain. Honeydukes, Three Broomsticks, Zonkos and the Shrieking Shack. What more could a guy of my age want? Well...Evans, but that's a whole different matter.   
  
Walking around the busy streets with your friends, enjoying warm butterbeer together, life doesn't get much better. Until you get to spend the Hogsmeade visit with Evans, that is.   
  
Sirius, Remus, Peter and I had just walked into the Three Broomsticks when I spotted Evans and her friends sitting at a large corner booth. The booth was big enough for all of us, so we joined them.   
  
Being the chivalrous, kind-hearted soul that I am, I graciously paid for Evans' drink.   
  
In all seriousness though, it's only right that the guy should pay for girl. It's Gryffindor chivalry and it's been drilled into me since the day I was born. It's only fitting.   
  
Either Evans does not understand the concept of chivalry or she just doesn't like me being chivalrous, because she sent a nasty glare my way. I smiled back at her, trying to hide that fact that her glare was scaring me.   
  
After we finished our drinks, we meandered around the village and eventually ended up at Honeydukes. I bought everyone a slab of chocolate in another attempt at being chivalrous. Evans seemed happy that I bought everyone some and not just her...  
  
We decided to just wander for a while so I started talking with Hestia about Evans. According to Hestia, I need to know more about Evans as a person, whatever that's supposed to mean. When I asked how to do that, she told me to talk to her and shoved me between Evans and Remus, who were walking in front of us.   
  
Yes, that looked quite chivalrous, butting in on someone else's conversation. I'm sure it earned me lots of points with Evans. If there were points, I don't doubt that I'd be in the negatives. I don't know why, but that's the impression that I'm getting.   
  
So, I did the only thing I could think of in the situation. I gave Remus a look, which clearly said, "Get away from her." I did apologize later and explain the situation to him.   
  
Anyway, I had to start a conversation with Evans, so I brought up the only subject that came to mind: Quidditch.   
  
I nearly had a heart attack when Evans said that she liked quidditch, but didn't really understand it. In spite of my shock and near death experience, I took this as an opportunity to impress Evans with my knowledge of the game. I think she understood what I told her, she seemed to anyway.   
  
Everything was great. I was having a good time, she seemed to be having a good time, but then I blew it. I asked her out. But I asked nicely! I said please!  
  
She told me to leave her alone. I said that I was sorry, but she didn't believe me and stormed off, presumably back to Hogwarts.   
  
Hestia smacked me hard upside the head after Evans was out of hearing range. "I said talk to her you prat! Not ask her out!"  
  
My head still hurts. Funny...I always thought of Evans and her friends as very quiet, non-violent people....

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Seeing how Evans is a bit angry with me at the moment, I've planned to lay low for a while. Say, a couple of days.  
  
That should give her time to get over whatever's bugging her.

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As usual, I was bored in History of Magic (who isn't?) and as usual, my mind began to wander and as usual, it wandered to the beautiful Miss Evans.   
  
Okay, that's officially enough 'as usuals' to last me the rest of my life.   
  
Anyway, while Binns droned on about the Goblin Wars of 1869, I decided that just because I'm "laying low" doesn't mean that I can't hang around Evans. She doesn't have to know I'm there.   
  
I'll only get in trouble if she sees me, but if she doesn't know I'm there, she won't get mad at me. So, really, everyone gets to walk away happy.   
  
Merlin, I love my invisibility cloak.  
  
Contrary to what Sirius believes my parents did not buy me this cloak because I'm spoiled rotten. It's been passed down several generations in the Potter family. Since I'm the only child, there was no big debate about who got to inherit it. Normally, I would have received the cloak either upon my coming of age or when my father dies, but my dad felt that I was ready to shoulder the responsibility. I'm glad he thought so; it makes my life here so much easier.   
  
Mostly, I use it to sneak down to the kitchens and nick a bite to eat, but every once in a while, the guys and I use to it play a prank. Lately, I've found a new use for it, but I won't say here what it is; it's too dangerous to do so until I've placed some sort of security spells on this notebook.   
  
I don't think that anyone in my dormitory or even Gryffindor House would read my private writings, but I don't want to take any chances.   
  
Well, Sirius would read it, but he already knows what I can't write about, so it's okay.   
  
Speaking of Sirius, he doesn't know about this notebook yet, which is the only reason that he hasn't tried to read it or write in it yet.  
  
I can't keep this a secret for much longer. The guys are already suspicious of me. Right now, I simply pull my bed hangings closed, but Sirius has an odd habit of yanking people's bed curtains open at random times and saying "Hello" in a very pleasant manner. Well, he only does it to me, Remus and Peter.   
  
I'd better be careful; Sirius could be lurking outside of my curtains at this very moment. That's a scary thought...

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Because I'm not home and don't have access to my documents ( I had this chapter on a disk, lucky for you guys) I can't respond to reviewers. Well, I could, but I'd have to look all them up and I don't have time since I have places to be. I'm really sorry about that, but I promise that next chapter I'll respond to reviews.

What I can say in general is that yes, James is clueless, but as you know, time will fix that. And yes, his entrys will become more detailed and more mature over time to show how he's changing. My thanks to all who reviewed last chapter! I really didn't expect that many reviews! :-)


	3. Holiday Cheer

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Disclaimer: I own nothing but my Harry Potter books and a pencil. Don't sue!

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Beta by: ilovethedotgame

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Chapter Three: Holiday Cheer

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Hello everybody! You're probably thinking that I dropped off the face of the Earth, and I'm so sorry about that. My computer is finally fixed though! And I'm back and ready to write! I've been doing a lot of writing on notebook paper though, so as soon as I type it up, the next chapters will be ready for you to read! Thanks for being patient, and even if you weren't, thanks anyway!   
  
A piece of advice for my readers: Read this chapter and then go back and read Ch.3 of "In This Journal". It's what I do when I write each chapter and I think that it will help things make sense and also give an interesting perspective of the same event.

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Christmas Day is one of my favorite days of the year.   
  
Of course, my favorite day of the year will be the day that Lily Evans agrees to go out with me. I'm thinking sometime in the spring when the trees are starting to bloom and the birds are singing.   
  
Anyway, today is Christmas and I gave Evans a love potion. Well...she thought it was a love potion in any case. I'm not thick enough to think that she'd actually drink a love potion from me.   
  
In actuality, the potion was no more than a weak, sleeping draft. However, I enchanted the steam from the draft to rise into the air when the bottle was uncorked and form the words: "Go out with me, Evans?"  
  
Emmeline told me later that Evans poured the mixture down the drain in the girls' bathroom. Oh well, it's not like I put a lot of hard work into it. Sleeping drafts are about as simple as they come and I'm not a bad hand at potion making if I do say so myself.   
  
This opens up a whole new avenue to me. I can now ask Evans out without having to be in the same room! She can't escape from me.   
  
James Potter knows no limits! He will go to any lengths to get what he wants! No setback will hurt him!

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Besides any kind of lily, (especially lilies-of-the-valley) mistletoe is my favorite plant. Three guesses why: Evans, Evans, and Evans.   
  
Putting my earlier idea to good use, I charmed a sprig of mistletoe to float above Evans' head at lunch and then took the opportunity to kiss her.   
  
It was just as good as I remembered. ...I can still taste her lip-gloss. (Strawberry flavor)   
  
As I said before, Evans was my first kiss, and I'm going to make it a point that she's the last one, too. I'm never going to kiss another woman as long as I live. Except my mother of course, and even so, that's on the cheek.

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Sirius was talking to me this afternoon about Evans.   
  
Sirius: "Why her, Prongs?"  
  
Prongs is my nickname, don't ask.  
  
Me: "Why?"  
  
Sirius: "Yeah, why Lily? What's so special about her?"  
  
I didn't know what to tell Sirius...I'm not sure really. I just know that I like her and I want to date her. Isn't that enough?  
  
Sirius: "Ah."  
  
Me: "What?"  
  
Sirius: "Nothing."  
  
Nothing? If that was nothing then Peter's a star quidditch player. Not to put down my friend, but poor Wormtail isn't exactly the most athletic person. Quite the opposite, in fact.   
  
But, Sirius had got me wondering, what is so special about Lily?

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Today, I waited, as I do ever every day, for Evans outside of my Muggle Studies classroom. Like I said, I wait for her everyday and say hello or comment on how stunning she looks. Just more chivalrous acts on my part.  
  
As she passed, I greeted her with a friendly "hello" and a smile.   
  
Evans: "Don't you have something better to do? Like hexing innocent first years who can't defend themselves?"  
  
Okay, first off, first years are not as innocent as they appear. I would know, _I _was one once. Never underestimate a first year.  
  
And secondly, it was a third year and he'll be out of the hospital wing in a couple of hours. He'll live.   
  
I've been planning New Years Eve for nearly a week now. The guys helped me construct a sign with the words, "Happy New Year!" on it to hang in the common room.   
  
They don't know that I've added my own personal touch to the banner. I've enchanted the banner to have my voice coming from it, doing what else, but asking Evans out.

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Oh, Merlin! The look on Evans' face when she saw the sign was priceless! She started blushing so badly that her face was nearly the color of her hair, which is a pretty impressive feat since she has deep red hair.   
  
My parents always kiss on the dot of twelve on New Years, so I decided to do the same with Evans.   
  
Do you know what she did? She slapped me! She touched me! Her hand made contact with _my_ face! I'm in heaven!  
  
It did hurt a little, but I don't care because Lily Evans willingly touched me. Life is good.   
  
Hestia told me to talk to Evans and I was going to until she saw me coming and quickly retreated to her dormitory where she knows full well that I can't follow.   
  
I learned that lesson the hard way back in second year. Sirius dared me to try and climb the stairs and I was dumb enough to do it.   
  
It turns out the founders of the school thought boys were untrustworthy or something, because they placed a charm on the staircase so that boys can't get into the girls' dormitories.   
  
Sirius and I are working on that one though...

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This morning I woke up early so I could catch Evans before she left for breakfast. I waited in front of the portrait hole for nearly an hour before she finally emerged.   
  
I was determined to have my say so I refused to let her out of the common room unless she walked to the Great Hall with me.   
  
Last night, I rehearsed a little speech of sorts about how since it's New Year we should start over. She looked interested until I asked her out. Then she called me an arrogant pig and told me to get a life.   
  
Get a life? Oooh that one hurt.   
  
And I do have a life. If anyone needs a life, it's her. I could give her a good life as my girlfriend if she'd only say 'yes'. Why won't she?   
  
Girls.

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I am brilliant. Really, I am. It took me a half a week, but I did it. I enchanted every suit of armor in the whole bloody school to whistle whenever Evans walked by.   
  
Not just any whistle, mind you, the kind that I would send a girls way if I thought she was pretty. (a.k.a Evans) What do they call it again...? Oh yeah, a wolf whistle.   
  
The whistling was only effective for today, but it was well worth it.   
  
I waited for Evans out side of my Muggle Studies classroom, (boring class, that one) and whistled at her as she and her friends walked by on their way to Divination.   
  
Evans looked more than irked by the whole thing, but I was having fun. She looked so confused. It was great!  
  
Sirius and I decided to whistle at her in addition to the suits or armor. Unfortunately, some other blokes got it into their heads to whistle at her too, but I put a stop to that, (do I really need to say how?) which she seemed to appreciate. I couldn't have random guys eyeing my girl, now could I?   
  
Defiantly not. She's mine.

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Wow! I got so many reviews! I'm in shock! Thank you so much, I never expected my story to be this popular. It means a lot to me, that there are people out there who want to read something that I wrote. Thank you, to all who read my story.  
  
**J.E.A.R.K.Potter:** Thanks! I liked that part too! James is a pretty fun character to write!   
  
**alexpotter:** Thanks, I hope you liked my other story! And I hope that you continue to enjoy this one!  
  
**Lillianna-Rose:** I agree with you about Lily sometimes seeming snobbish. I think she's that way in this story too even if you don't. Later when they become friends, I'm going to they really hard to make her seem nice. I don't want to give the impression that she's not making an effort to like him when she is. Please keep reading!   
  
**dragonzflame:** Don't worry, I didn't forget about your idea! I'm still going to use it! I have a place for it, although it won't show up for a while. Be patient! It'll be in my story and I will give you full credit for it. As for your other idea, I was already going to do something of that nature! You're way ahead of me! :-)   
  
**Angul-gurl:** Glad to know that James's cluelessness (is that a word?) amuses you. It amuses me too.  
  
**Sakura Moon:** There will be more detail as things go along. It will all tie in with James maturing. So, while it won't be for a little bit, it will come. It'll be a gradual process, just like his growing up.   
  
**Cherry:** I'm sorry, but I won't be able to e-mail you because of my e-mail settings. Parental controls and what-not keep me from doing that sort of thing. I am sorry. I'm glad that you like my story though and want to know when I've updated. Please keep reading!   
  
**misschickapee:** Of course I reviewed! I try to review most things I read, even if it's not under this name. Glad to hear your chicken pox are gone! I had mine so long ago...I think I was in third grade, but I remember that it wasn't much fun. Thanks, I will keep writing!  
  
**rosepetal13:** Well, my computer is fixed! Yeah, it is a journal, but James doesn't know that. Well, he does, he's just in denial. Maybe he'll admit it later in the story, I haven't decided yet. I might just make him deny it through the entire thing....that would be fun.   
  
**Ildreen Love:** A third part? I've thought about it, but I haven't given it too much though. I don't know yet if I will or not. Once I get closer to the end I'll give it some more thought.   
  
**DOJ:** Well, things are supposed to relate to the last story! :-) We're seeing the same things (or most of them anyway) as last time, but with a different writer and a way different perspective. James is so much fun to write. Even when he gets more mature, he'll still be fun because he'll still have his sense of humor, just not his naïve-ness.   
  
**Arabella:** I'm glad that one of your first Lily/James stories could be a good one. I was unfortunate enough to read some really bad ones. Good thing I found some better ones, or I wouldn't have thought about writing my own.   
  
**bluestar:** I'm glad you like my portrayal of James. I want to make him as true to character as I can, which is pretty hard since we don't know to much about him. The Hogsmeade part was my favorite entry of that chapter too. If you remember, in "In This Journal", it seemed like he was butting in and being rude, but this kind of cleared that up. To answer your question about James's new use for his cloak: Lily only wrote about what she knew, but if she didn't know that James was following her, she wouldn't write about it, now would she? :-) Yeah, James is being sneaky again.   
Well, my computer is working again! I'm so happy! My mom wouldn't call tech-support, she said that it would just break again since the last time we called them, it broke down a couple of days later. Thanks for reading!  
  
**child-of-scorpio:** Wow, everybody's computer is breaking down! But mine is fixed now, so it's okay! I'm glad that the whole curtain thing with Sirius seems like something that he'd do. I was kind of apprehensive about that for some reason. What's an IT lesson? Sorry if I sound nosy, I'm just curious. I don't think we have that where I live...  
  
**PriBAngel:** I did have fun on vacation and camp! And here I am, updating this! I hope this makes you happy! :-)  
  
**Loves to Read:** It is interesting to see things from James's point of view. I love writing this so much.   
  
**certified-weirdo:** Thanks, I did have fun on vacation. I hope that you had fun at Alice Springs. What is the Uluru? I honestly don't know... That's neat that you're Australian. At camp, I had a counselor from Queensland!   
  
**Ginny05:** Thanks, I'm always glad to see new people reviewing and enjoying my stories. Please continue to read!  
  
**ArtemisiaQuill:** Everybody seemed to like the part about Sirius and the bedcurtains. I did too for that matter.   
  
**MPPSexxySiriusJamesRemus:** Thanks, glad to know that you like it.  
  
**little-angel123452000:** Well, James isn't coming around quite yet. It's a gradual process, just like his growing up and becoming more mature. It can't just happen over night. That wouldn't be very realistic.   
  
**browneyedgirl2004:** I will keep writing this! I love writing this! It's very self satisfying. Please keep reading and reviewing!   
  
**Spikora:** As I told another reviewer, Lily only wrote about the stuff that she knew about. James could have followed her under his cloak and she wouldn't have known about it, and therefore wouldn't have written about it. Sneaky little thing, isn't he?  
  
**Fury of Chaos:** Sorry it took me so long to update, I promise, the next chapter will be coming a lot sooner. 


	4. Invasions and Valentines

**Disclaimer:** Quite obviously, I am not J.K Rowling and do not own Harry Potter.

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**Beta by:** ilovethedotgame

* * *

**Chapter Four: Invasions and Valentines**

* * *

Regular = James  
  
_Italic = Sirius_  
  
**Bold = Remus**  
  
**Bold Underlined = Peter**

* * *

_Well, well, well. Our Prongs keeps a journal... this is interesting. Good blackmail material, this is.   
  
Really now James, you thought you could keep me out with a few simple spells, that we created? Emphasis on the 'we created' part. Tisk, tisk, I thought you knew better.   
  
An "idea notebook", huh? James, mate, this is a journal. And furthermore, you're not sticking to your format. You said you were going to write the ideas down and then record the results...I'm disappointed in you.   
_  
_Why don't you want to write about the time you dated Hestia Jones? That was a good time mate.   
_  
Why are you writing in this?   
  
_ Because it's yours and it was easy to break into.   
_  
Thanks.  
  
_Anytime, mate, anytime. So, why don't you relive your dates with Hestia, hmm?  
  
_ I'd rather not if it's all the same to you.   
  
_Oh, come on. I like that story._   
  
I'm leaving, and I'm taking my notebook with me.

* * *

**I have to agree with Sirius on this one, it is a journal.**   
  
**Why does he want to keep a journal about Lily?   
  
** _Because he's daft._   
  
**Lily's a nice girl. She's a good choice.   
**  
_But she's all wrong for Prongs.   
_  
**We'll see.****

* * *

**  
Note to Self: Find a different spell to place on Idea Notebook. And it is not a journal!   
  
There, I just placed new protection spell on it complete with a password. That should keep them out.   
  
While I was in the library finding a new safety measure for my notebook (not journal), I came across an interesting spell.   
  
You take normal quills, and place a spell on them which then lets you write on someone else's parchment, and allows them write on yours in return. This is a perfect way to talk to Evans during class!   
  
I just need to get my hands on her quills. I'll go and find one of her friends now.

* * *

I found Alice and Hestia in the common room, no Evans in sight. I approached then with my idea and they agreed to help. Despite the fact that Hestia and I used to go out, we're still on good terms and she's rooting for me in my fight for Evans' heart.  
  
Alice ran up to her dorm and retrieved all of Evans' quills for me. I took them up to my room, placed the necessary spells on them and then gave them back to Alice, who put them back in Evans' bag.   
  
Later on, I did the same with a couple of my quills. I don't have to put the spell on all of my quills, but I had to put it on all of Evans' quills since she's likely to break one or more of them once she realizes what's going on.

* * *

Whoever decided that the next Hogsmeade visit is to be on Valentine's Day is a god. Really, if I knew who it was, I'd buy them candy from Honeydukes for the rest of their life.   
  
Valentine's isn't my favorite holiday, but it gives me a chance to ask Evans' out and to give her stuff like chocolate and flowers without appearing desperate.

* * *

Today after classes, I gave Evans a red rose with a card asking her to come to Hogsmeade with me attached to the stem.   
  
She said no.  
  
How could she say no? I was polite, I was thoughtful, and I was nice! What more does she want? Maybe I should consult Remus about this.

* * *

No good friend. Remus says that I shouldn't ask her to Hogsmeade this year.   
  
What am I supposed to do, wait until next year? Not bloody likely! I'm asking her this year!

* * *

I want to write Evans a poem for Valentine's Day. There's only one problem. I can't write poetry. Maybe I should ask Remus for help....

* * *

Remus said that he won't help me bring more shame upon myself.   
  
What shame? I haven't done anything!

* * *

_ I suggest the following:   
  
I love your red hair,  
  
At you I could stare,  
  
I like you a lot,  
  
How could you not?  
  
And you still haven't told us about your time dating Hestia.  
_  
_Oh, and next time you decide to use a password, use something other than 'Lily Evans'._

* * *

Girls actually want to date him?  
  
I would rather shoot myself in the foot than give that..._thing_ to Evans.   
  
And I am not reliving my dates with Hestia.

* * *

I was getting desperate, so I sought out Alice for help with my poem.   
  
She suggested that I do something with flowers since Lily is also the name of a flower. It's a bit cliché, but it's better than nothing.   
  
I'm working off of the old "roses are red, violets are blue" thing. I'll use those lines, and then add a couple of my own once I think of them.

* * *

After many failed attempts at poetry writing which are currently burning in the common room fireplace, I have finally decided on a poem to give Evans.   
  
Rose are red,  
  
Violets are blue,  
  
There is no flower,  
  
As sweet as you.I feel stupid.   
  
_You are. Making a complete prat of yourself over a girl.___   
  
Stop stealing my notebook, Sirius!  
  
_But it's fun to steal your journal.  
_  
STOP!  
  
_ Okay, okay._   
  
As I was saying before Sirius stole my NOTEBOOK, I feel stupid. But, if it helps me to win Evans' heart, it'll be worth it.   
  
Now, I have to have Alice deliver the note and flowers. Yes, I bought Evans flowers: red roses intermingled with lilies-of-the-valley.

* * *

She threw them out the window!   
  
I spent good money on those flowers! I know she doesn't like me much, why I don't know, but she didn't have to throw them out the ruddy window!   
  
And what about my poem? It's probably a pile of ashes in the fireplace by now. Bloody hell...does she know how long I worked on that thing?   
  
Some people are so insensitive.

* * *

The guys and I are heading off to Hogsmeade in a few minutes. I don't know if Evans is coming, but if she is, I'm going to act as if the whole flower/poem thing has not affected me in the least. I am going to be my usual, friendly self.

* * *

She did go in spite of this morning's events, and speaking of this morning, I still don't see why she was so angry. Okay...I asked her out on the note attached to the flowers, but I gave her flowers and wrote her a poem! Doesn't that count for something?   
  
Girls are supposed to like getting flowers from a guy...what's wrong with Evans?  
  
In any case, yesterday, I instructed Alice to make sure that she got Evans to the Quidditch section of the bookstore in Hogsmeade. Evans wouldn't think that I would look for her there. See, I did think this through.   
  
She and her friends walked right into the Quidditch section and there I was, waiting for her. It was the perfect set-up.   
  
Thinking that she could get rid of me, Evans spent an entire hour Gladrags Wizarding Wear. An hour. I've never spent even half that amount of time in a clothing store. Why would you want to?  
  
The really strange part was neither she nor she friends actually bought anything. All they did was look and talk about what they'd like to buy. How completely pointless.   
  
Once she was done there, I figured the worst was over and that I could face whatever else came my way.   
  
Two by two our friends wandered off, (I asked them to do that yesterday) leaving Evans and me alone.   
  
We walked the streets for a while. I tried to hold Evans' hand, but she wouldn't let me.   
  
She stopped at Scrivenshafts to replace all of her quills. I was quite disappointed by that. It means that I'll have to enchant her quills all over again.   
  
We ended up at the Three Broomsticks and enjoyed a nice butterbeer, which I paid for.   
  
Evans was being nice and thanking me for the butterbeer and I told her that I wouldn't be much of a gentleman if I didn't pay for my date's drink, which I wouldn't.   
  
That's when the trouble started.   
  
Evans: "Date? You think that this is a date?"  
  
Well, pardon my eyes, but it sure seemed that way to me. A guy and a girl having a drink together... It screams date.  
  
For whatever reason, Evans got really defensive at about this time.   
  
Evans: "You did this on purpose! You and my friends! You planned this whole thing!"  
  
Yeah, pretty much.   
  
Me: "They wanted to help me out."  
  
It is so nice having her friends on my side. It does me worlds of good.   
  
Evans: "Help you? They're my friends! They should be helping me get rid of you!"  
  
Gee, thanks, that really made me feel all warm and bubbly inside.   
  
What's so bad about me? Really now, I'm smart, athletic, funny and I'm not exactly hideous. I'm boyfriend material. I only want to be one girl's boyfriend, and I'm not giving up until she says yes.

* * *

**Hey! Before anyone says anything about having Sirius, Remus and Peter write in James's notebook, I have a few things to say. First of all, it is not my intent to copy bluebottlebutterfly in any way, shape, or form. I am fully aware that she had James's friends write in his stalking Lily Evans journal. Unlike in that story, James doesn't want his friends writing in his "idea notebook". He's going to try to keep them out and Sirius is going to have a grand old time trying to break into it. And yes, while his friends will write in it, it will mostly be Sirius for comedic relief and to be a bother to James. I figured that James couldn't possibly keep a journal (or his idea notebook as he would have us believe) hidden from Sirius for his entire Hogwarts career and since their best friends, Sirius would be able to break in because they know each other so well. I have tried very hard to not copy bluebottlebutterfly in the use of James's friends writing in his notebook. I can assure you, her portrayal of the characters is a bit different than mine, so I don't think we'll have any problems with that. I was just really worried about that, so now that that's off my chest, read your review responses!  
**

* * *

**MPPSexxySiriusJamesRemus:** Thanks, I will! I love writing this!  
  
**Lillianna-Rose:** Yeah, James is immature, but he's only fifteen and he'll grow out of it. You're right; it is funny though.   
  
**PriBAngel:** Thanks; please keep reading!  
  
**amberlie:** Aww, your review made me really happy. I'm glad that you finally found a fic you really like. I do try very hard to portray James in a good way. It's hard though because we know so little of him, and I have to make him be annoying. I'm sorry there aren't many chapters yet, but don't worry, there will be!   
  
**misschickapee:** I'm glad my computer's fixed too! I would defiantly read the corresponding chapters. I think it will make the reading even more enjoyable.  
  
**child-of-scorpio:** Oh, I guess we do have something like IT classes, but we call it Computer Applications or something like that. I'm bored with vacation too, but I'd rather be bored at home than busy at school! :-) And once school starts, I won't be able to write as much. I will try my best though.  
  
**ginny05:** Yes, he is, but I know worse guys.   
  
**DanielLover00:** Thanks, glad to know you liked it!  
  
**little-angel123452000:** That's why I decided to write this story, so we could see the method behind the madness. Otherwise known as "what was James thinking?"  
  
**JKRobsessed:** Oh! Thank you so much! My story is your favorite? I feel so special! :-)  
  
**SeleneA:** I agree; every girl needs a James. I liked the slapping thing too, well I should, I wrote it, but it was very James.   
  
**the-insufferable-know-it-all:** Thank you! That was really nice of you. It's reviews like yours that really make my day!  
  
**browneyedgirl2004:** Well, I'm glad you took my advice and that it was a good idea! Thanks for the congrats, that was a really nice thing to say. I don't think you're a pest, I was more than happy to read your story and give you some constructive criticism. I hope that I didn't offend you in anyway. If I did, I'm sorry. But I hope that my advice was of some use.  
  
**bluestar:** Why does James like Lily? Well, James doesn't really know yet. Obviously, he's attracted to her looks, but there's something else that he can't put a finger on. You're right though, once they become friends, he'll realize that she is a person and a very wonderful person at that. I will show his thoughts about everything as he ponders this and that and eventually figures it all out.   
  
**MWPP Fanatic:** Thanks! Yeah, it's not a journal and penguins fly. Hehe. James will admit it sometime in the future. I'm not sure when yet, but he will. He is a thoughtful boy; he just needs to direct some of his thoughts to being less big-headed. But I love him that way. Of course, I love him the other way too!  
  
**Some12:** Good to hear you like the POV thing. Always glad to hear that. I appreciate your suggestion, but you're not the first to suggest it and in fact, I had that planned before anyone said anything! Thanks though! It's the thought that counts. 


	5. Sweet Dreams

**

* * *

Disclaimer:** If I were J.K Rowling, I'd be busy writing Book Six, but I'm not, so I'm here writing this for you!

* * *

**Beta by:** ilovethedotgame

* * *

**Chapter Five: Sweet Dreams**

* * *

Last night I dreamed that Evans and I were out by the lake, holding hands and looking at the stars. We seemed older, but maybe it was just my imagination. I wonder if Evans ever dreams about me? _That's highly unlikely mate. If she did dream about you, they wouldn't be nice dreams; they'd be nightmares._

Thank you for your positive input. Now stop stealing my notebook!

_But it's so easy to steak your journal. And I'm just telling it like it is. The only way that Lily would dream about you is if you somehow forced her to._

Force her? How could I force her to dream about me?

* * *

Brilliance. Sheer brilliance. 

Sirius gave me an idea when he said that the only way Evans would dream of me is if I forced her. I have decided that that is exactly what I'm going to do. Make her dream of me, that is.

I haven't exactly figured out how I'm going to accomplish this yet, but I'll think of something. I always do.

* * *

I've just gotten back from the library, (yes, I have been there before) but I didn't find anything about making people dream about specific things. 

Maybe I'll just have to make up a spell...

Hey, that's not a bad idea. I mean, if I can become an a-...well, I'm bright enough to create a simple spell. Sirius, Remus and I made up loads when we created the Marauder's Map.

* * *

_My God, Prongs has gone mad.  
_  
**Why is he making Lily dream about him?**

**You're asking me to tell you how James's mind works?**

**Never mind.**

_He's lost it, really, this time I'm serious.  
_  
**Who thought that he was so serious about Lily?**

_Not me. I still wonder..._

**Why? You don't think he really likes Lily?** _I'm not sure...he didn't answer me when I asked him why he liked her._ **Well, time will tell. ****

* * *

**Why do my friends hold conversations in my notebook? It's so pointless. Why don't they just talk to each other rather than taking turns writing in here? And just for the record, I do too like Lily Evans. I can't explain why I like her, I just do. I am not just chasing her because she won't go out with me, if that's what everyone is thinking. 

Tonight, Sirius will be testing my dream spell. He doesn't know it yet, but he will when I tell him.

It's a fairly simple process. I say the spell as I point my wand at Sirius. Then, I do the same to myself, which creates a link between us. In my mind, I envision what I want to have happen in the dream, and then we'll both have the dream.

Brilliant, is it not?

* * *

Well, it worked and Sirius seems no worse for wear for the wear. I'll test it a few more times, though; I don't want to give Evans brain damage or anything of that nature.

* * *

Tonight, as Evans left the common room, I placed the spell on her before saying "sweet dreams!". The dream is pretty uneventful. It's just me following her around and asking her out. Nothing bad.

* * *

_Your password was "James likes Lily"? That is insulting to my intelligence. If you're going to try and keep me out, at least put up a good fight and make me guess. It's no fun when I break in on the first try. _

_Okay, that being said, I have to say that you should write about your date with Hestia._

* * *

It's been two weeks of lovely dreams. Evans seems fine and I couldn't be better. I've been dreaming of a beautiful girl, how could I be anything but great?

* * *

It would seem that Evans thinks she's paranoid. At least, that's what Hestia tells me.  
  
Why would she think that she was paranoid? Maybe...because she thinks that she's dreaming about me of her own free will. That could be it.

* * *

Evans is avoiding me like I've got some sort of disease. What is this?

* * *

I told her. 

Just like in last night's dream, I came up behind her on the way to Transfiguration and took her hand. She looked pretty startled. She looks pretty when she looks startled. But then, I think she looks pretty all of the time.

I asked Evans if she thought that if she avoided me that she wouldn't dream of me. For a split second, she looked confused, but then realization surfaced on her face.

I decided to leave before she got really angry, so I gave her a kiss on the cheek and walked away humming "Goodnight My Someone". I thought it was a nice touch.

* * *

_Quidditch? Your password is quidditch? Really now!_ __  
  
_Emmeline told me that Lily is going home for the Easter holidays because of her disturbing dreams. _

_How do you plan to make her dream about you when she's over a hundred miles away? And I am not being the guinea pig for any more of your sick experiments. _

_You really should tell us about your date with Hestia._

* * *

I am not telling you about that date! 

As for the dream spell being used over long distances...I'll figure something out.

Now for a new password....

* * *

**This isn't one of my better chapters, but I hope everyone still enjoyed it! **

**bluestar:** Good to hear that I'm not copying. I didn't think I was, but you how some people get. I know. It's bad when you're infatuated with a character who's fictional, married, and dead. :-) I haven't decided exactly how James is going to react to the later chapters yet, but I think he will have a small idea that Lily's feelings aren't just platonic. He will take out his frustrations in the notebook, you can be sure of that!  
Yeah, it's fun to see James trying to get Hestia to help, but if you notice, Lily thought it was only Hestia helping James, when Alice is in on a lot of the plots! You were the first reviewer! Congrats! It's always fun to be the first one to review, isn't it?  
  
**LilliannaRose:** James is immature now, but he'll come around! I agree; girls are better!  
  
**JKRobsessed:** I try to update quickly! I was actually going to update yesterday, but my parents said that I'd been on the computer enough. Hope you enjoyed this chapter!  
  
**certified-weirdo:** I had to bring Sirius in! :-) As I said before, James wouldn't have been able to keep his "notebook" a secret from Sirius! Besides, Sirius is so funny and he's a lot of fun to write!  
  
**browneyedgirl2004:** Your welcome! I was glad to give you some constructive criticism! I know what you mean about the "Hey! I loved this! Update soon!" reviews. While it's nice to see people enjoy my story and want me to continue, I would like to see some suggestions for improvement and stuff of that nature. So, I thought that I'd give some out! I'm glad I could be of a little help to you. I rather enjoy editing stuff, so it really wasn't a problem for me at all.  
  
**Loves to Read:** Don't worry about not reviewing the last chapter! I'm horrible at consistently reviewing and I think it's great that you review nearly every chapter!  
  
**Laughing Dragoness:** Why, thank you! I know what you mean about Peter. I don't like him, and I want him to drop off the face of the Earth, but he was friends with James, Sirius and Remus and I can't just ignore that. I'm trying to stay as close to the books as I can, and I can't do that if I completely leave out Peter.  
  
**misschickapee:** Thanks! It's kind of hard to write James (although it's fun) because we know so little about him, but I'm glad to hear that you think I'm doing a good job!  
  
**Cherry:** Yeah, I know I didn't say what James did after the kiss. He's going to say later, actually, but I'll tell you now because it's not a big deal. The truth is, he doesn't remember! He was so happy and caught up in the moment, that he doesn't remember what he did afterwards! Yes, James is 15, and no, most guys wouldn't act that way, but this is James, and James isn't most guys! :-)  
  
**MWPP Fanatic:** Exactly right! He has to prove himself, which won't be easy, but he can do it!  
  
**EW4eva:** Thanks for recommending me to your friend! I think that made my day, to hear about people passing the word on my story! I feel so loved!  
  
**MPPSexxySiriusJamesRemus:** Thanks for your support and always reviewing so faithfully!  
  
**i-h8-sclub:** That's okay, I know how the whole computer being stupid thing goes! Thanks!  
  
**Ildreen Love:** Well, as you found out in this chapter, James may put spells on his notebook, but that won't keep his friends out! They're determined to get I and write in it, and I can guarantee that they're break in until the very end!  
  
**child-of-scorpio:** I said I'll try! I've been writing a lot lately to try and get ahead for when school starts. Oh, don't worry, I'm going to try my hardest to update at least twice a month! I hate it when people don't update for horribly long periods of time, so I don't want to be a hypocrite. My classes promise to be quite challenging this year, but we'll see. I'm glad you liked Sirius being included in the notebook! He had to be in here! He's to close to James and too funny not to be! :-)  
  
**tinkerbelldetention101:** I wish I could update faster too, but I can only update when I have a chapter to update! I'll try my best.  
  
**Some12:** I'm glad that you noticed the longer entries. It's pretty gradual, but then growing up is gradual.  
  
**Queen Of Day Dreams:** Finally! A person who doesn't like Sirius to be a drunk! He has to be funny, but he also has to be serious when he's needed to be and some people just ruin his character that way by making him so immature! I hope I can do his character justice! Yup, James is the best! I love Sirius to pieces, but I love James even more!  
  
**dragonzflame:** Oh course James couldn't have other guys eyeing his girl! He's so chivalrous you know. Which is slightly ironic, because he strongly believes in being chivalrous, but yet he practically stalks Lily, which I'm sure is not very chivalrous. But that's part of what makes James so great!  
  
**the-insufferable-know-it-all:** Thank you. I love how everyone puts notebook in quotes! He'll admit it someday, I'm not sure when, but he will.  
  
**Angul-gurl:** Um...I don't know who Devin is, but thanks!  
  
**EyesofEmerald:** It's you! I have to tell you that I was greatly amused by all your reviews of my other story! I don't see many reviews for that one anymore since it's finished, but it was nice to see your reactions to Lily and now I get to see them for James! Good to hear I'm not copying! I didn't think I was, since as you said, I'm not the first person to do a journal story. And I agree whole heartedly that Sirius writing in James's notebook is commons sense, because they're too close for James to hide something private like a journal...I mean notebook...from his best friend! Keep reading!  
  
**Tigoamy:** Tell your friend thanks for me for recommending my story to you! I'm always excited to see new readers! Good to know that you like my interpretation of James!  
  
**The Great Charlotte:** James is my favorite character too! Well, him and Sirius and Remus of course. I like Neville too, he's kind of accident prone and forgetful and he reminds me of myself a lot in that respect. :-) Thanks and please keep reading!  
  
**J.E.A.R.K.Potter:** Thanks! I'll try to update soon!  
  
**cilverblood:** Yes, yes he is! He will figure out not to ask Lily out, but all in good time! Glad to hear you liked the poem, I liked it too! Well, I should hope I did...:-)  
  
**aquariusbaby205:** That is one heck of a long time to be on the computer. I did that once too and my eyes hurt afterward! And your review did not bore me to death, in fact I was rather amused by it. It's nice to hear that I do a good job with the characters and that the characters don't change too much.  
  
**Dude Wheres My Cheese:** Wow, I thought that everyone had read " Deflating", which is the story I'm trying not to copy, since she has so many reviews it's insane. It's a good story, except I don't like her portrayal of Sirius much. I would never dream of copy and pasting, so I guess you're right. Except for the journal and Sirius thing, they're two very different stories. But you know how some people are about the tiniest thing being even remotely the same. If I implied that Sirius would be the only one talking in the journal...notebook...be won't. Remus will be in it quite often too. Peter will be less because I don't think he's smart enough to figure out the passwords and I don't like him, even though I know he has to be in it because he was in the era. I agree, Remus was a big help to James, and Remus won't go forgotten. If you remember, in "In This Journal", James appointed Remus his tutor. Well, the lessons (I guess that's what you'd call them) are going to be recorded in the notebook.  
  
**DOJ:** I am going to explain James's date with Hestia. Yes, there was only one, and James will explain away the confusion. I hope anyway. What I have planned is rather funny, (I think so anyway) so be on the lookout! It won't be for a couple of chapter though. Sirius has to rub it in some more.  
  
**ChaosMage28:** Thanks! Please keep reading!  
  
**About "Midnight Jealousy":** This is about my latest one shot. Somebody wanted to know who the guy under the hood was. The answer: No one in partiular. It really wasn't supposed to be anyone. Just some guy that James cooked up in his imagination!

**Please review with helpful comments and constructive criticism!**


	6. Letters and Notes

**Disclaimer:** I don't own any of the characters, only the plot.

**Beta by:** ilovethedotgame

**Chapter Six: Letters and Notes**

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I can't figure out how to make the dream spell work over long distances, so it looks as though Evans will get a dream free Easter.

Oh well, I'll just send her letters instead.

* * *

Easter Holidays started today and I decided to come home since Evans didn't stay at Hogwarts. Being at home will give me time to think.

Here's my letter to Evans:

Dearest Evans, (I know it sounds mushy, but girls like that fluffy stuff)

I hope you're having a good holiday. Since you decided to go home for Easter Break, so did I.

Life here is rather boring without you. I miss being able to glance across the classroom and see your pretty face. I would feel much less lonely if I knew that I could call you my girlfriend.

Yours always,

James Potter

Okay, that was a tad cliché, but I meant every word. I do miss being able to see her everyday even if all she does is yell at me.

* * *

Arrow, my owl, just came back without a reply. While it means that Evans received my letter, it also means that she obviously didn't bother to take the time to respond to it. She might not have even read it.

Well, like the old saying goes, if at first you don't succeed, try, try again.

The only problem is that I have tried again. And again, and again, and again, but I'm not any closer to winning the heart of one, Lily Evans.

* * *

Dearest Lily-Flower,

I'm saddened that you didn't reply to my last letter. Arrow likes carrying mail. He actually gets quite upset if you don't have anything for him to carry.

I miss you, Flower. Please, please, please, please, please go out with me? It would make me really, really, really happy.

Yours always,

James Potter

I do realize that Lily-Flower is highly over-used, but I like it. She is named after a flower after all, and no, I did not just realize that fact. She has a very pretty name. Lily Evans…. Her name would sound nice as Lily Potter too.

I also realize that this letter sounds highly desperate. It's supposed to, because I am desperate.

* * *

Arrow just returned with a "letter" from Evans.

Potter: The answer is still "no".

That's it! That's the whole letter. What a waste of parchment.

If that's the way she wants to be, fine. Two can play this game.

* * *

Contrary to what many people believe, owls are highly intelligent creatures. I would know, since I just spent the better part of my day teaching Arrow to ring the doorbell with his beak.

When I pat him once on the head and make a clicking sound with my tongue, he knows to press the bell with his beak and fly in the door when it's opened.

The whole point of teaching Arrow to ring the doorbell is so that when I send him off with another letter to Evans, he'll ring the bell, and then fly into the house with the letter.

I'm planning to send Evans a letter shortly before suppertime so that the letter will arrive while she and her family ate eating. (If all goes according to plan that is)

With good luck, someone else will get to the letter first and hopefully make Evans respond or at least feel guilty about not writing back.

* * *

Here's a copy of the letter that I'll be sending to the Evans' household tonight.

Dear Lily,

I'm doing fine, thanks. I hope you're having a good holiday. Personally, I can't wait to get back to Hogwarts and see you again. I can only hope that you miss me the way I miss you.

To answer your question, I named my owl Arrow for the Silver Arrow broomstick. It was the first broomstick that I ever rode and since Arrow is a pretty fast flyer, I thought it was fitting.

Well, I'm sorry this letter is so short, but I have to go, my mum is calling.

Yours always,

James Potter

So it was a little sneaky, making it sound like we're on good terms with each other, but with a little luck, her parents will read it and think I'm a nice guy. Which I am.

* * *

I like holidays. They help me figure out ways to ask Evans out. I just center my asking around a holiday and the ideas come easily. For example: For Easter, I'm sending her Easter eggs.

Yes, Easter eggs. But not just any old eggs, mind you: Magical Easter eggs. They bounce when dropped, but open in a hinge and contain magical candies such as Bertie Botts Every Flavor Beans and Honeydukes chocolate.

I wonder how she'll react to the booger flavored jelly beans?

* * *

Sirius arrived at my house today and is planning to spend the rest of the holiday here.

This afternoon he helped me get the Easter eggs all ready to send to Evans. I decided to include notes as well as candy in the eggs, so he helped me a bit with that. I didn't see what he wrote on one of the notes, but I'm sure it wasn't anything too bad.

* * *

This morning, an owl showed up at the breakfast table and dropped a letter on my father's plate. My father read the letter and then passed it to my mother without saying anything.

For a moment, I thought that it was a letter from school, or from the Ministry, telling my parents that they've found out about….certain secrets in my life, but my mother's voice in a low tone told me otherwise.

"James Harold Potter. What are you doing to that poor girl?"

Oops. My parents weren't supposed to find out about my pursuit of Lily Evans.

Mr. Evans wrote my parents a letter complaining about one of the notes in the Easter eggs.

Dear Mr. And Mrs. Potter,

In light of the letter and notes that have recently arrived at this household, I think it is safe to assume that your son has feelings for my daughter.

I am sure that your son, James, is a very nice young man. However, as her father, I feel that these notes must cease.

My wife and I found his initial letter to Lily to be innocent and appropriate, but one of the notes from inside the Easter eggs was not. Even the thought of marriage is too much to be contemplating at their young age.

Enclosed in this envelope is the note in question. I trust that you will speak to your son about this matter in a just and according manner. Thank you.

Sincerely,

Mark Evans

Merlin's beard! Lily's father thinks I'm contemplating marriage!

That note that Sirius wrote is the one that her father was complaining about. It was a piece of parchment with the names "Lily and James Potter" and "James and Lily Potter" scribbled all over it.

Thanks to Sirius, I'm confined to my room for the rest of the night, and I can't ride my broom until I get back to school.

Life is so unfair.

* * *

_Life isn't fair, James. That's just the way it is. _

I wish that life were fair.

_No, you don't. _

Oh, so now you can read minds as well as decipher passwords?

_Figuring out your "passwords" is fun. But no, I don't read minds. _

Then how can you tell me what I want and what I don't want?

_Because if life were fair, life would be boring. _

If you have a point, please make it; we're being called for lunch.

_My point is, James, that if you don't have to work for the things you get, they wouldn't mean a thing. _

This is about Evans, isn't it?

_Yes, it's about Lily. _

So…you're saying that if she just fell into my arms then it wouldn't mean anything?

_Basically._

I'm beginning to regret inviting you over.

I miss her. I'd even welcome her yelling at me if she could just be here.

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**Review Responses**

**EyesofEmerald:** James does need to make harder passwords, doesn't he:-) Of course I like your input! I value every reviewer's input!

**LilliannaRose:** I hope this update was faster! I go back to school in two days (how unfair) so I wanted to get a chapter updated before the homework began.

**cilverblood:** Oh, I don't know, I kind of like the Marauder's being just guys. They're so clueless, well, except Remus. James does need a girls help, but don't forget he has Lily's friends to help him out!

**The Great Charlotte:** I'm glad to hear that I didn't disappoint you!

**JKRobsessed:** Good to hear that you liked the last chapter!

**Chaosmage28:** Who likes Peter? Really, I'd like to find someone who actually likes his character…Anyway, thanks for the review!

**Sarah Warder:** Thanks. I'm glad you like the format and the story-standing-alone thing. I always hate it when people have sister stories that don't match, so I decided that mine would.

**MWPP Fanatic:** I know. I really didn't like last chapter too much. But, as you said, authors have good and bad chapters. Guess that was a bad one. I'm glad to hear that you still enjoyed it though!

**child-of-scorpio:** Thank you! You're saying I was a good author made my day! I promise that I will do my best to update regularly once school starts.

**J.E.A.R.K.Potter:** I know it was short and I'm sorry. Chapters won't be that short again. They won't be really, really long, but they won't be really, really short either.

**Some12:** I wanted to stay in fifth grade too! Well, I wanted to stay in every grade except kindgarten, 7th and 8th. :-) Yes, James does need to get better at making up passwords. I'll work on that.

**EW4eva:** Yeah, James did kind of take the dreaming scheme to the extreme. He'll figure out that being forced to dream about something is nearly as fun as he thought it was.

**dragonzflame:** Yes, I am making the chapters for each journal story match. Some things may be different, but only because a.) James has a different view on it the subject or b.) Lily or James didn't know of a certain event and therefore didn't write about it. I apologize for the ridiculously short chapter last time. I really don't have an excuse except to say that the adjacent chapter was only three and I did extend the last one to five pages. I'm sure why I only wrote a three-page chapter in the first place though…

**Queen Of Day Dreams:** I'm glad you like my portrayal of Sirius. I can't tell you about the date yet, but I will! Sirius just has to pester James about it some more!

**DeoxyriboNucleic Acid:** Thanks! Please keep reading!

**aquariusbaby205:** Maybe I'll take your foreign language password idea and use it. Would you mind?

**browneyedgirl2004:** Thanks! I know it was short, I'm sorry! This chapter is two whole pages longer! My early chapters of "In This Journal" weren't overly long, so it's hard to make them much longer for this story. I don't want to add too much stuff, you know? It would kind of take away from the main focus I think.

**Cherry:** I assume what Lily did after James kissed her is go to class since that's were they were heading in the first place. It's highly probable that she seethed about it all class and went back to her dorm and went on a really long rant about how much she disliked James. I assume and probably because I never planned it out, but I think that's what she would have done. They hold conversations in James's "notebook" and to annoy him even though yes, it would be much simpler to talk to each other in real life. You didn't miss anything about what happened on the date. Sorry, I can't tell you what happened! It's a secret for now. You'll find out in a couple of chapters!

**the-insufferable-know-it-all:** I'm glad you like the way I portray Sirius! I didn't like the last chapter much either, but I hope that you liked this one more.

**MPPSexxySiriusJamesRemus:** As always, thank you for your constant support of my fic!

**tinkerbelldetention101:** Bribery cookies are tasty! I hope that I didn't take too long to update! Thanks!

**Loves to Read:** Sirius is great, isn't he:-) Thanks for the review!

**little-angel123452000:** Wow! Thanks for the really nice compliment! I always liked Fred and George, so…thanks:-)

**Laughing Dragoness:** I love how if you read this story, you feel sorry for Lily, but if you read the counterpart, you feel sorry for James. I think earns most of the pity though. :-)

**anonymous:** Thanks! Please keep reading!


	7. Happy Birthday Dear Evans

**Disclaimer: I'm not J.K Rowling. I don't own Harry Potter. If you didn't know that, then heaven help you.**

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**Beta by: ilovethedotgame**

* * *

**Chapter Seven: Happy Birthday Dear Evans**

**

* * *

**

**_Sirius is in italics_**

**Remus is in bold**

**Peter is in bold underlined**

James is normal

* * *

Tomorrow, we head back to school and I get to see Evans!

* * *

What a perfect day! I got to meet Evans' parents and they like me! Looks like they forgave me for the note in the Easter egg. (But that was Sirius's fault anyway, the bugger) 

Getting the girl's parents to like you is supposed to be the hardest part so at least that's out of the way. Now I just have to get the girl to like me. Her mum, especially, liked me. Guess I just have a way with women.

Anyway, when I offered Evans a hand to help her get on the train, she (Evans) hit my hand instead of taking it. Evans mum seemed very shocked.

"Lily Christine Evans! How dare you be so rude! James is simply trying to be a gentleman; the least you can do is try to be a lady! How many young men would offer you a hand up? Young men like James don't grow on trees, you know! Now take his hand!"

She did take my hand, but she went strait to the lavatory to wash her hands once she got onboard.

I didn't mean to get Evans in trouble, really, I didn't. But I did learn something: Her middle name is Christine. That's a really pretty name, Lily Christine Evans.

* * *

I cast a dream spell on Evans tonight so that she'll dream about this morning at the train station, but she'll see it from a different perspective. Just thought I'd let her see the whole thing from an outsider's point of view.

* * *

Today when I walked to Arithmancy, I noticed that Evans was sitting all by her lonesome, so I decided to keep her company.

I told her how pretty I thought her name was (I thought she'd like that) except instead of Lily Christine Evans, I accidentally said Lily Christine Potter.

I swear, cross my heart and hope to die, that I did not mean to say Potter; it just slipped out.

She told me to bugger off. What's new?

Evans was just about to switch to another seat when she noticed that all of the other seats were taken. She seemed to feel that she had been tricked in some way and began yelling at me and accusing me of having some grand scheme to keep her from sitting by anyone else.

I didn't have any plan; I just wanted to talk to her. Is that so bad?

The teacher and the class were staring at us by the end of Evans' rant and so I acted like nothing was wrong and waved, which seemed to make Evans even more angry.

* * *

Once again, having Evans's friends on my side has paid off.

Today during Herbology, I was paired with Alice and she told me a vital piece of information. Evans' birthday is on April 23rd. This will be a great opportunity for me to impress Evans and to give her something.

What to get her though? What do you buy for a girl who dislikes your very existence, but you're head over heels for her?

Maybe I should get her a nice picture of me in my quidditch robes to place beside her bed. No, she'd chuck it out the window, just like the flowers.

Or maybe, I could ask Alice to find out what Evans' wants most for birthday...

I think I shall go find Alice now.

* * *

__

_A picture of you in your quidditch robes? Are you mad?_

**And you still haven't told us about that date with Hestia. Come on, it couldn't have been that bad.**

**It can't be worse than my date with that one Hufflepuff. Fess up, James!**

Yes, it was that bad now stop asking because I'm never going to tell you. I'm just curious, but do you know what the word 'privacy' means?

* * *

What Evans wants for her birthday is a set of books on Charms. They're not cheap, but I have the money and it goes to a worth cause. I'll sneak out to Hogsmeade tonight and buy them at the bookstore there.

* * *

I've just had Remus help me wrap Evans's gift. Who knew wrapping paper could be so tricky to manage?

I also made her several magical birthday cards and I'm having Emmeline hide them among Evans's possessions so that she'll find them as her day goes along.

I also made a regular card for her reading: "To a very special flower on her birthday. May it be a memorable day filled with joy. It would be a memorable day if you agreed to go out with me...and filled with joy. Defiantly. What do you say?"

She can't possibly say no!

* * *

Okay, apparently she can.

On a better note, Evans seemed to enjoy her new books despite the fact that they came from me. She didn't seem to want to let on that she was pleased with them, but I noticed that she was carrying one of them with her during Potions.

I decided to go all out since today is Evans' birthday and it comes but once a year. And your sixteenth birthday only comes once. I need to take advantage of the opportunity.

At breakfast I stood up and lead the entire Great Hall in a rousing round of the Happy Birthday Song in honor of the special occasion.

In the hallway on our way to out first class, I deliberately walked behind her so that I could cast a spell on her.

Nothing bad, I promise. It was just floating letters above her head that said "Sweet Sixteen".

To top off my perfect day, I was paired with her in Potions. I really only got to be her partner since the professor knows that Evans doesn't like me and likes to make students miserable. That and the last time that Sirius and I were Potions partners we had a bit of fiasco that I really don't want to go into detail about. Let's just say that the entire class spent a good deal of time in the hospital wing.

But hey, if the Professor wants to pair me with the girl of my dreams, who am I to refuse?

Even though it was Evans' birthday, it didn't mean that I didn't get to be annoying. I need my fun too, you know.

I asked her about being kissed. What a fun subject. She's a little touchy about it, but that's okay.

I asked if her she was sweet sixteen and never been kissed. She made some sort of random answer about adding the ingredients to our potion, but I saw her blush.

I knew that she'd been kissed, hello, by me, but I asked her anyway, just for the heck of it.

She told me that she gargled after I kissed her. You know, I don't remember what I did after that kiss. I was so ecstatic I can't seem to remember. I do remember Sirius whacking me upside the head, but I don't think that counts.

Evans wanted to know why I wanted to know about her past experiences in kissing blokes so I told her that I wanted to know because her first kiss came from me. I want to know if anyone else has been kissing my girl.

She avoided the subject and told me to add more ingredients to the cauldron and to bugger off.

I'm beginning to notice that she tells me to bugger off a lot. I sense a pattern....

* * *

****

**Cherry:** I can safely say that nothing of that nature occurred between James and Hestia. He's just embarrassed because it didn't go well. Yes, the two people talking were sitting right next to each other, and yes it is kind of weird, but here's my "logic". First, it was Remus and James, sorry if I didn't clarify. Secondly, Remus was over at James's house for the day and while was James was out of the room broke into his notebook. Remus was going to write more, but then James caught him and answered in the notebook.

**LilliannaRose:** Yup, I'm back at school. What fun. Actually, aside from math it's not so bad. I will try to update soon. I've gotten a little busier lately. I'm babysitting and doing stuff at church, plus this school year is supposed to the hardest, but I promise to do my very best.

**Queen Of Day Dreams:** Nice letter! I thoroughly enjoyed reading it! I can't tell you about the date yet. Sorry, I have to keep you in suspense a bit longer. :-) -ducks the rotten veggies- Sorry I didn't update sooner, but I've been busy and I was sick, so I hope I have a legitimate excuse.

**EW4eva:** He does miss Lily...too bad she doesn't miss him. :-( She will soon enough though!

**Some12:** I like to throw in little twists like Sirius writing that one note that Lily thought James wrote. It's fun. In this chapter, I put in a small one in the part where James sat down by Lily and she accused him of having a plan. He didn't, but she thought he did, and so did we...until now.

**child-of-scorpio:** Yeah, I know these last chapters have been short, and I'm sorry, but I can only add so much stuff. These chapters have to correspond to the chapters of "In This Journal". My parents would have done the same! James really didn't think things through did he? :-)

**bluestar:** That's rotten luck! I can't say I'm in Florida. When it comes to hurricanes, I'm quite safe. Tornadoes are another story. I thought people would like to see the letter! When I wrote TIJ, I didn't actually plan what was in the letter, so I had to make one up. The part with Arrow and the doorbell was also one of those things I never planned out in my other story, so in this one, I had to think of way for that all to happen. This story is so complex. I hadn't originally planned on writing a counterpart, so some things are going to be hard to work around. Like the part where James lets Lily read his journal...I'm not looking forward to that. Hooray for Michael Phelps! Too bad the Olympics are over. I'm all ready for the winter ones now.

**Sarah Warder:** There was a reason for two people to be writing in it. You must have missed it, but that's okay, it was easy to miss. James invited Remus (yes, it was Remus) over for the day and Remus broke into James's notebook while James was out of the room. Thanks for the compliments!

**misschickapee:** Poor James. Well, kind of, but not really. He brings so much of it on himself. I'd like to sleep in, but I have to get up at 6:00 am! You're so lucky!

**DOJ:** Yup, James is as clueless as they come. He'll get over getting in trouble; Sirius has probably gotten him in more trouble than that before. Come on, it's Sirius! :-)

**MWPP Fanatic:** It does have a nice ring! His parents are just being parents. They're just trying to instill good values in him. The last part was Remus and Sirius talking. Sorry I didn't clarify that. I'll remember to put the key to what person has what font on each chapter.

**tinkerbelldetention101:** I don't think I did update faster. Sorry. I wrote the reviews two days before I posted, so...yeah. Yes, James was supposed to be a bit pathetic. I'm glad you liked the note! So did I! Sirius is so great!

**Flower of Scotland:** I like your new pen name or whatever it is you call it. Yes, school is under way for me. I don't think I'm from anywhere near you if you're from Scotland. (are you?) I live in the United States. I don't want to get to specific, but I'm from somewhere in the Midwest.

**Chaosmage28:** I don't think you're going to find anyone who likes Peter!

**chippagirl:** I have no idea what James's new password is going to be! I really don't plan it out. I just come up with them as I write the chapter.

**Loves to Read:** Thanks! It's good to hear that my story still makes people laugh. My dad would kill boy before I could get to him. Mr. Evans took it very well, I think.

**dragonzflame:** James doesn't really do anything for revenge. Sorry. I figures that he'd probably gotten Sirius in trouble on more than one occasion, so things even out.

I'm really sorry about this, but I can't respond to every single review anymore. It would like to, I honestly would, but it takes up a lot of time and slows down my updates. If you have a question, I will gladly answer it to the best of my ability or if I want respond to something you said, I'll respond to your review. A lot of you will still get an individual response, and if I notice that some one has reviewed a lot, I'll say something to them. I'm going to put people's "names" in a list with a thank you. It's just that there's only so many ways to say, "Thanks, please keep reading!" I hope you guys all understand.

**My most sincere thanks to:**

**i-h8-sclub**

**MPPSexxySiriusJamesRemus**

**JKRobsessed**

**little-angel123452000**

**the-insufferable-know-it-all**

**Zayne,**

**J.E.A.R.K.Potter**

**Ildreen Love**

**Dude Wheres My Cheese**

**CoPaCaBaNa-mAgIc,**

**Laughing**

**Dragoness,**

**Kita**

**Chaosmage28**


	8. Revelations of a Prat

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Disclaimer:** I don't own the characters or Snape's Worst Memory.

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**Beta by:** ilovethedotgame

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_Sirius_

**Remus**

**Peter**

James

* * *

**Chapter Eight: Revelations of a Prat**

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**Just a reminder that each chapter of this story corresponds exactly with each chapter of "In This Journal".**

* * *

Alright, if that's what Evans goes through each time I put the dream spell on her, I'm never doing it to her again. 

That was horrible! I had no control over anything and after I woke up, every time I closed my eyes that's all I could see. I never, ever want to have a dream like that again for as long as I live.

In my dream, I was standing by the History of Magic classroom when a small girl with pigtails came up to me and put the leg locker curse on me.

As I fell flat on my face, she began laughing at me. From the shadows came more people, probably about fifty, give or take a few. One by one they approached me and hexed me, laughing as they did so.

The last person to walk up to me was Lily Evans. She raised her wand high, a look of malice in her eyes. And then...I woke up, drenched in a cold sweat.

Not funny guys.

* * *

_On the contrary, it was positively hilarious. The best entertainment I've had in ages. _

**I agree, spiffing show!**

**As amusing as it was, that dream was meant to teach you something, James. Do try and think about it, hm?**

* * *

How did they figure out my password? Who in their right mind would think of my password when it was "pink fuzzy bunnies"? Who? 

Sirius, I guess.

* * *

The things I do to try and win a girl's heart. It probably annoyed her, (what doesn't?) but I was highly amused by the whole thing. 

I suppose I'd better explain.

Last week, I spent the majority of my spare time preparing for our annual end of the year pranks. Usually, the pranks are pitted against the Slytherins, but this year, I decided to give my attention to Evans. She should be flattered.

First, I magically recorded her voice with this weird contraption that I borrowed from my father a while back. Second, I enchanted all of the desks in the school to bear the engraving "L.E. J.P.". Third, I fixed it so that when a person touched the engravings, Evans' voice could be heard coming from them.

So, today when she noticed them in Charms, she sent a death glare my way. Oh well, at least she acknowledges me.

I spent much of my day "accidentally" touching the desk engravings. It served two purposes: 1.) I got a rise out of Evans. 2.) I got to hear her voice saying "L.E. J.P. love, then my voice asking her out.

On a less than thrilling note, McGonagall gave me a detention for my prank. Spoil sport.

On an even less thrilling note, the Potions professor gave Evans a detention for accidentally (it was really an accident in her case) touching the letters and setting the voice mechanism off.

And so Evans has me to blame for the second detention of her Hogwarts career.

Oops. Now she has yet another reason to dislike me. Joy.

* * *

I figured out the message behind my dream. 

All of those people in the dream, all those I people I didn't recognize? I realize now who they were. They were people I've hexed for sport in the past.

I'm a world-class prat and can understand now why Evans doesn't like me. I'm a bully and I'm arrogant and...just a prat not even worthy of speaking to her.

Our O.W.L. for Defense Against the Dark Arts was today. I thought it was extremely easy, but that's not the point.

After out testing, the guys and I went outside to recuperate and prepare for out Transfiguration O.W.L. As we were sitting under a large tree by the lake, being bored, Snape walked by.

Sirius and I then began to taunt and curse him. Hexing Snape has always been a favorite pastime of Sirius and me and since he's not a really well liked character, nobody is sorry to see him belittled.

No one usually comes to Snape's rescue except maybe some other highly questionable Slytherins, but today, who else would come to his aid, but Evans.

That's right, Evans. Now, personally, I was in shock. I mean this is Snape, a Slytherin, someone who despises muggleborns like Evans. And she helps him?

It would appear so, because that's exactly what she did. She repeatedly told Sirius and me to leave him a lone while we did nothing of the sort.

I wasn't really taking any store in what she was saying. I was just letting the words bounce off me until she called me an "arrogant, bullying-toerag". She also said that she'd rather go out with the giant squid than me.

That got my attention. Evans insulted me to my face. I don't think she's ever done that before.

Snape, being the gracious git he is, called her a mudblood as thanks. How dare he?! Evans may be muggleborn, but she's just as worthy to study magic as him or anyone else in this school. She's twice the person that he'll ever be.

What really got me thinking was her rant about my lesser qualities. What she said will forever remain imprinted upon my mind.

"Messing up your hair because you think it looks cool to look like you've just gotten off your broomstick, showing off with that stupid snitch, walking down corridors and hexing anyone who annoys you just because you can – I'm surprised your broomstick can get off the ground with that fat head on it. You make me SICK!"

At first I kind of brushed off her words, but once I had Snape in midair, about to take his pants off, it hit me.

Sick? I make her sick? If that's what Evans truly thinks of me, I need to change.

That must be what she thinks of me. It sounded like she's wanted to say all that for a very long time. Probably since I started trying to get her to go out with me, and it's been almost an entire school year.

I brought Snape back to the ground, (okay, I dropped him) and came back to my dorm to think. And so here I am: The high and mighty James Potter brought down several pegs by a girl who was standing up for her enemy.

I wonder...why did she stand up for Snape? He's never made any secret of the fact that he dislikes her and all that she stands for. Why would she willingly defend him against me?

Maybe...she did it to make me angry, to go against me. She knows that Snape and I don't see eye to eye.

Maybe...maybe I should study.

* * *

**May I be the first to congratulate you on your revelation, James? Bravo! About time. May I ask how you're going to change?**

_This doesn't mean that we have to stop hexing Snivellus, does it? Please say no. _

* * *

No more hexing people for fun, this excludes Snape, because he's a git and he insulted Evans. Well...maybe I won't hex him for fun, but if he tries to mess with me, I'll curse him into the next century. 

I plan to change, Remus, with your help. Please and thank you.

* * *

****

**Oh gosh. Your welcome...I guess. I suppose I should take this as a complement**.

* * *

Indeed you should, but you need to stop stealing my notebook.

* * *

_It's a journal, mate! Admit it! I know it, Peter knows it, Remus knows it, and even you know it, so just say it! _

_And tell us about those dates with Hestia while you're at it. _

* * *

Fine! I'll tell you about the time I dated Hestia! But I'm only doing this so you'll finally shut up about it! 

I don't know where you got this impression that Hestia and I dated for a long time, because we didn't. It lasted a grand total of about a week.

Here goes...I've never told anyone about this date before. Okay...it was last year, (fourth year) and it was only my second date ever, so I was fairly nervous. In all of my nervousness, I knocked over both our mugs of pumpkin juice and it spilled all over her.

Then, as we were leaving, I accidentally...smacked her in the face with the door and broke her nose. I took her to the hospital wing straight a way, and I waited for her nose to heal. After she was released, Hestia told me that if that date was a sign, we weren't meant to be together and she thought we'd really be happier as just friends.

Are you happy now? You should be.

* * *

_That is the best thing I've heard since you said we can still hex Snape! I do feel a tad sorry for you, but you know, if you had dated Hestia for longer, you might have been with her into this year, and then your infatuation with Evans would look rather bad. _

Bad? Why?

_Think about it! You break up with Hestia and then go chase one of her friends? That's pretty unchivalrous._

That's not even a word, but I see your point. Now stop stealing my property!

_Your property is my property. There's no selfishness in this dorm Prongs._

Want to bet? Give me my notebook!

* * *

Tonight, I tracked Evans down using the map. She was in the library, no surprise there. 

I couldn't see her when I walked in so I asked some kid from Hufflepuff if he knew where Lily Evans was. He looked a bit intimidated by me, (small wonder, given my record) but none-the-less, he pointed her out to me. She was partially hidden behind a large textbook as though she were hiding from someone, probably me.

She has been doing an impressive job of avoiding me this week. I think if I were her I'd avoid me too.

I approached her with every intention of apologizing for the events that took place out by the lake last week, but as soon as she glanced up at me, my mind went blank.

Now, my mind does not usually go blank, so I didn't know quite what to do. Unfortunately, Evans' dislike of me combined with her stubbornness and my blank mind did not yield great results.

I asked her what she was working on. It turned out to be an essay on Animagi.

I offered to help her since Transfiguration is my strong suit and I've done quite a bit of reading about them.

Evans asked me to leave and I was going to until I had this sudden urge to do something stupid and annoy her.

In short, what followed was this:

I stole the book she was reading and ran off laughing with it. She tried to follow me, so I doubled back to the library and put the book back on the shelf. I then hid in the empty Charms classroom and waited until she walked by then I jumped out at her. I took her hand and set off at a run, dragging her behind me. At the portrait hole, I dropped her hand and she slapped me. I smiled.

That last fall I took in quidditch must have knocked some screws loose in my head or something. I acted like an idiot, but when do I not?

Why do I want to snog Evans and yet annoy her at the same time?

I think I should consult Remus on the matter. He'll know what to do.

* * *

****

**Queen Of Day Dreams:** Well, I finally let you know about his date! Hope you weren't disappointed! Yes, I am fully recovered. I just had a cold, and it wasn't too bad, but bad enough that I didn't feel well enough to work on my story, which made me very sad.

**LilliannaRose:** Yes, math is that bad, but I got a B on my last test, so that's good. I'm going to be a junior! James does sound innocent, doesn't he? Too bad he's not. Well, sometimes he is, but not as often as he should be!

**Loves to Read:** Your whole class sings to you? Wow, half the people in my class don't even know I exist! Not that I have a really big class, it's about 250, but I'm low on the social radar. As always, thanks for the review!

**JKRobsessed:** You printed out my story? I take that as a compliment that you want to read it that much. Thanks! :-D I have to confess that I do the same thing with my favorite stories!

**dragonzflame:** Well, you know what happened now! I hope the wait was worth it! I'm kind of worried people will be disappointed with what really happened...

**Angul-gurl:** Yup, he defiantly bring it upon himself. He'll figure it out though! Please keep reading!

**Sarah Warder:** Um...each chapter of this story corresponds exactly with each chapter of "In This Journal". I put a reminder at the start of the chapter though, for people who missed that. Thanks for the input; it's greatly appreciated.

**DOJ:** I like how Emmeline and Hestia help him out too, because Lily thought it was all Hestia! James is getting better and he'll continue getting better, although he will have a few slip ups in the next chapter.

**Flower of Scotland:** I like you new pen name a lot! It's really pretty! I wish I could take something from my national anthem, but I don't think there's anything like that in there to borrow. Making you feel sorry for James was the plan! Lily gave him such a hard time, I didn't think it was fair for him to be guilty of everything he was accused of.

**Chaosmage28:** Are you serious? Someone actually likes Peter? What is this world coming to?

**EyesofEmerald:** I know! I realized I had typed that differently after I updated, but I didn't want to change it because I thought it was rather amusing. Thanks! I do try with the perspectives! Please keep reading!

**Cherry:** I know it's complicated and it doesn't always make sense even to me, and I'm writing it! James probably could hide his journal, but I assume that every place he could think of is one that he and his friends found together, so that wouldn't work. I can respond to reviews, just not all of them. I have to "choose". If someone has a question, I'll respond to them as beta I can, or if I've been responding to someone and we kind of have conversations now through the reviews and responses, I'll respond to them. You know, I've never thought about it, but if a guy stalked me like James is doing to Lily, I would be really freaked out too!

**Some12:** Glad to know that my story was such a goof part of your day! I know the feeling, coming home and a story you've been waiting for had finally updated! Please keep reading!

**MPPSexxySiriusJamesRemus:** Thanks! I've glad you like my story. It's not the best, but I'm proud of it, so I guess that's what matters, huh?

**emps:** Who doesn't like Sirius? It's impossible not to like Sirius; he's so...likeable! (Wasn't that just the smartest thing you've ever heard? Oh well, I'm tired and going to bed after I update this) Please keep reading!

**tinkerbelldetention101:** Um...not really. Sorry. I'm not very good with computer stuff. It's been awhile since I updates, so maybe you've got your problem fixed by now. I hope so!

**Hey! Thanks for all the great reviews!**

**Laughing Dragoness**

**EW4eva**

**The Great Charlotte**

**Ildreen Love**

**J.E.A.R.K.Potter**

**little-angel123452000**

**the-insufferable-know-it-all**

**Celebrean**

**AsMoon**


	9. Project Fix My Personality

**Disclaimer:** I don't own the characters. Only the plot.

**Beta by:** ilovethedotgame

* * *

**Chapter Nine: Project Fix My Personality**

* * *

I like Evans' friends. Despite my first impression of them as violent people who hide it well, they're actually nice girls. I've gotten to know them quite well since we've been working together to try and get Evans to date me.

On the train ride home, Alice invited the guys and me to sit in the girls' compartment with them. Evans wasn't exactly hospitable, but that was to be expected. I tried to start up a conversation with her once or twice, but all I accomplished was learning that she doesn't have any big plans for the holiday.

When the witch with the food trolley came along I offered to buy something for Evans, but she refused.

Then Sirius had to butt in with some mumbo-jumbo about how Evans wasn't letting me be chivalrous, which she wasn't, and how being chivalrous is a Gryffindor trait, which it is. In spite of Sirius's chivalry speech, Evans declined my offer again.

Now, I am going to try and be a better man, but I figure that whole process starts over the summer and until I walk through the front doors of my house, I can still be a prat.

Besides, I think if I come back changed after holiday, it will make more of an impression than if I acted differently on the very last day. If I started changing now, Evans wouldn't take as much notice. But when I return, a different person, she will.

Now that I've gone completely off subject, we'll get back to the train ride and the food trolley incident.

To recap, I can still act like a prat. So I told the food trolley lady (or whatever is that you call her) that I would be paying for Evans since she was my girlfriend.

The lady gave me a warm smile and my change. Evans gave me a death glare and a look that clearly she would have dearly loved to deck me. It's looks like that really make me want to change.

Evans ignored me for the rest of the ride. I stared at her, stared out the window, and stared at her. It's hard not to, okay?

On a brighter note, I got to see Evans's parents again this afternoon. They were waiting at the station for her and they were talking to a familiar looking couple. I couldn't believe my good luck when I realized that her parents were talking to mine. And I didn't even plan it! It was great!

Evans didn't seem to think it was so great though. She actually stopped walking and stared. I stopped next to her and asked if I could take her trunk, but she didn't seem to hear me. So I took her trunk from her and headed towards where our parents were talking.

It was only after I pried her hands off the handle of her trunk and was walking away with it that she noticed that I was even there. She demanded that I give her the trunk back, but I refused. Carrying the lady's luggage is the chivalrous thing to do.

Evans told me to stop being chivalrous. So I replied that I couldn't; it was in my Gryffindor heart to be chivalrous. And hey, it is.

She responded by telling me that I didn't have a heart. I found myself leaning towards her and saying, "I do too have a heart. It tells me that you're the most wonderful girl alive and that I should do anything and everything possible to make you mine."

I'm not sure where that little speech came from; I was just about as shocked as Evans was, and she had her mouth hanging wide open.

After a moment, I shook myself out my reverie and introduced her to my parents, Hericus and Agalaia. Thank Merlin I got a normal name.

She then introduced me to her parents, (out of sheer politeness) whose names are Mark and Kathleen.

Our parents chit chatted for a bit, then Mrs. Evans said that they had to be going. I was a tad depressed at the thought of not seeing Evans for an entire summer when my mother spoke up and suggested that our families would have to get together sometime over the course of holiday. Mrs. Evans agreed and promised to invite us over for dinner!

I gave mum a big hug once Lily and her family were out of site. She's a wonderful mother. She may not realize that she's helping me to win Lily Evans's heart, but she is.

Do you know, I called Evans Lily as I was saying goodbye to her...I called her Lily...I wonder why I did that.

* * *

This summer marks the end of "James the prat" and the start of "James the nice guy whom Lily Evans would willingly date".

_You'll always be a prat, Prongs._

Are you saying that you don't think that I'll ever have a shot with Evans?

_Given Evans's current attitude toward you, I don't think she'll be drinking any form of alcohol with you anytime soon._

Be serious. No! I take it back! You know what I meant.

_You can't take it back! However, I do think that you'll get your chance, but you'll always be a prat. You'll just be a different kind of prat._

There are different kinds of prats?

_Sure._

Give me back my notebook.

_Your journal, you mean?_

Give it!

* * *

I've invited Remus over for a week or two to help me be more like him.

See, I've noticed something. Evans talks to Remus. Evans likes Remus as a friend. Therefore, I need to be more like him.

* * *

_Maybe Lily talks to Remus because he's nice to her and doesn't stalk her..._

* * *

Maybe you should stop writing in my notebook!

* * *

**Being like me had nothing to do with it, James. In time you'll come to see what I mean. I want you to start finding the answers on your own.**

* * *

Tomorrow, Remus and I start what I like to call, "Project Fix My Personality" or as Sirius likes to call it, "James's plan to make a complete prat out of himself while making Lily hate him even more."

What inspiring friends I have.

* * *

I'm going to record the progress of "Project Fix My Personality" in here for...posterity I guess.

**Lesson #1**

**You should call her Lily. It is her name after all. Friends are on a first name basis with each other and you need to become Lily's friend before you can become her boyfriend. But we'll get to that later.**

I guess calling her Evans is kind of rude...I'm usually on a last name basis with my enemies and I definitely don't want to be her enemy. Lily it is.

You know, I can't remember that last time I actually called her by her first name. It must be third year, at least. I wonder why I started calling her Evans in the first place. Lily is such a pretty name.

* * *

**Lesson #2**

**You have to be her friend first.**

Can't be just skip forward to the boyfriend stage?

**No!**

Why not?

**Think about it.**

Well...I suppose because I don't really know that much about her. If we jumped right into a romantic relationship, we'd have little to no idea what kind of person the other is. We'd just sit there trying to figure out information about the other.

**You're quite insightful when you choose to be, James. You just need to choose to be so more often. I think it would make a lot of people's lives a heck of a lot easier.**

I'm insightful? Who would have thought?

**Not me.**

Oh laugh.

* * *

I wrote a letter to Lily saying that I'm sorry for the lake incident and that I want to change. Remus looked it over for me and declared it safe to send. And it passed inspection on the first try too!

Dear Lily,

How has your summer been so far? Mine has been all right. Remus is here at my house for a couple of weeks. His parents are on vacation, so he's staying with my parents and me.

Listen...I'm really sorry about the whole lake incident...I didn't realize that it upset you so much. I'm going to make a conscious effort this year to work on that little quirk in my personality. I said at the train station that I'd do anything to get you to like me, and I meant it. If it means completely re-doing my whole personality, so be it.

Just thought I'd let you know what to expect.

Sincerely,   
James Potter

There. I was nice, I didn't ask her out and I told her my plans. I doubt that even she can be mad at me for that letter.

* * *

An owl arrived from the Evans' household today, inviting my family and me to dinner this Friday night.

Now, I'm not usually one to be nervous. Normally I'm fairly calm and collected about big events such as this. (i.e. quidditch) But somehow the thought of going to Lily's house has me freaked out.

* * *

**Lesson #3**

**When you ask Lily out, what kind of a response do you get?**

She always says no. You know that. Why did you have to ask?

**It's all part of the process. What else happens?**

Well...she seems kind of annoyed and she usually gets a bit shirty with me.

**Do you have any ideas about how to remedy this?**

Let's see...I tried asking her out nicely and giving her stuff, so that's obviously not the answer. I suppose if I didn't ask her out she wouldn't get mad at me.

**Very good. You're making excellent progress.**

It probably helps that I'm doing this of my own free will. I really do want to be a better person, Remus. This isn't just about Lily, even though she's a major factor.

**I know James. Just don't loose sight of you are.**

What do you mean?

**I mean, don't get so wrapped up in this changing your personality that you loose who you really are. You're basically a great guy. You're smart, funny and extremely loyal. You just don't know how to show that side of you to Lily. All she sees is the not so good part of your personality. So show her the good parts and hopefully they'll outweigh the bad.**

Thanks, Remus. That's one of the nicest things any one has ever said to me. Oh Merlin, we're getting all sentimental aren't we?

**Yeah, a little.**

I think this session is over. Want to go play quidditch in the backyard?

**You'll just beat me.**

I'll go easy on you.

**Show off.**

Pretty much.

**Fine.**

* * *

Note to Self: Do not think about Friday night when trying to sleep. It's not a good idea. It took me over two hours to finally get to sleep.

I kept envisioning myself making a complete prat out of myself in front of Lily's parents. I know I've already met them and they like me, but they could always change their minds.

And what if Lily doesn't notice I've changed or that I'm at least trying to change? What if she doesn't care? What if our parents get into a disagreement over something and Mum decides not to ask them over for dinner?

What if her sister flirts with me and Lily thinks I fancy her sister? Or what if her sister hates me, and Lily values her sister's opinion and hates me even more than she already does?

What if we can't connect the Evans' house to the Floo Network and we have to apparate? But I can't appartate yet! What if we have to take Muggle transportation and get stuck in traffic and don't make it on time?

What if the Floo Network does work, but it malfunctions and we get sent to some old Muggle lady's house and my family coming out of her fireplace shocks her so much that she has a heart attack and dies?

I can't do this!

* * *

**Breathe, James. It'll be okay. You just need to be tactful.**

**Lesson #4**

**Tactful is the adjective form of tact, which means "delicate perception of the right thing to say or do without offending".**

**Think about what you're going to say before you say it. Blurting out the first thing that comes to mind is never a good idea, especially with you, since the first thing that comes to your mind is usually not the most tactful.**

Way to boost my self esteem, Remus.

**I'm just trying to be helpful.**

Oh, fine.

**Do not, I repeat, DO NOT under any circumstances ask her out. If you do, you'll be back to square one. And that's considering you even make it to square two. Be polite, friendly and don't bring up past experiences that went awry.**

Got it. It sounds like a good plan and I will make every attempt to stick to it.

* * *

Three days left. I was fine until today, then I got all nervous again.

Remus went home today so I can't ask him what to do. Maybe I could owl him...Oh wait, he told me not to. He said he wanted some peace and quiet for a few days. Oh bugger.

* * *

What should I wear? Do I wear wizarding apparel or Muggle clothes? I own Muggle clothes, so that's not a problem, but would they find that offensive and think that I was trying to dress like them? Or would they find wizarding robes to be offensive to their Muggle life style?

This is just great, a guy worrying about his clothes.

* * *

I've decided to wear robes since that's what my parents are wearing. We might as well all dress differently together. Then we're not really dressed differently, just not the same as the Evans.

I never thought I'd see the see the day when I cared about what I was wearing for a bloody girl.

* * *

A letter arrived for my mother from Lily this afternoon at lunch. Mum let me read it, but it was just a letter asking when we we're going arrive tomorrow.

However, I did learn some information from the letter. Lily referred to her owl, and said that its name is Galadriel. It's not much, but every bit helps.

We're leaving for Lily's in ten minutes and my knees are shaking. Not a good sign. I hope my nervousness doesn't make a complete idiot out of me. Well, Lily already thinks I'm an idiot, so her dislike of me can't get much worse. At least...I don't think it can...

I hope she notices that I've changed. Granted, I haven't changed that much, but still I have made some improvement according to Remus.

Here goes.

* * *

Well, it could have been worse. Before I tell what happened, it must be noted that I did not ask Lily out once although I did come dangerously close to the subject once, but only once. Remus should be proud. All right, to the story.

My parents and I arrived at the Evans household at six o'clock just like my mother said we would. The Evans live in a house my mother described as "quaint". It's a one and a half story cottage looking home with navy blue shutters and flower boxes in the kitchen windows.

Lily seemed amused by our wizarding robes and actually smiled. I know that sounds rather bizarre, but I've hardly ever seen her smile and certainly not in my direction. I smiled back in an attempt to be friendly.

Mrs. Evans insisted that Lily give me a tour of their home, so Lily led me around, showing me her habitat. I paid close attention, trying to pick up clues to the kind of person she is.

I must say that Lily was looking exceptionally nice tonight in a below the knee length, black skirt and a green shirt that brought out her eyes. When I told her that she looked pretty, and she asked if Remus had told me to say that.

Now, how would she know that Remus is helping me? Do you suppose that she has a spy network through our friends just like I do? Must be on the lookout.

Anyway, I was a little miffed that she thought I would have Remus tell me what to say. I may be a tad thick when it comes to women, but I'm not completely stupid. I can think for myself.

I think that you can tell a lot about a person from where they live and what kinds of things they have in their room, so I took this opportunity to pick up new facts about Lily.

Lily's room is a sunny-yellow color, which I translate into happiness and cheerfulness. She has a mirror over her dresser and the mirror has pictures of her friends tucked in the sides. On her writing desk there are more pictures of friends and what I assume to be her family, which translates into a love of those close to her.

A large wooden bookshelf stands in one of the corners and all the shelves except for the very bottom one are filled. Obviously this means that Lily enjoys reading, but if the bay window seat with the book lying in it means anything it also indicates that she likes to read in peace and let her mind be taken far away.

On a table in another corner sat something I had never seen before. It had a wooden base and a black semi-transparent lid covering it. Next to it was a stack of very thin, cardboard boxes with circular, shiny black things inside.

The thing on the table turned out to be a reecode...no, that's not right...recoud...recod...record! It's a record player; the black discs are records. It's kind of like a radio. All the music is on the records, you can start and stop it at will and there are no commercials.

Lily was nice and showed me how the record player worked. She picked up a random record and carefully placed it on what she called the turntable. She then placed the needle in a grove in the record's surface and pushed a button.

Almost instantly, I knew I loved the song. Lily hadn't really paid close attention to the song she had picked out and I'm glad she didn't. The song was called, "I'll Get You", by a Muggle band called The Beatles.

I don't remember the whole song, but the beginning goes something like this:

"Imagine I'm in love with you,   
It's easy, 'cause I know,   
I've imagined I'm in love with you many, many, many times before. It's not like me to pretend,   
but I'll get you, I'll get you in the end, oh yeah."

That should be my theme song! I love it! It's perfect for me! It's exactly how I feel about the relationship Lily and I have.

She may not like me much, but eventually she will. Now, I'm not trying to be cocky or boast about how Lily will fall at my feet. She won't fall at my feet because she's not that kind of girl and I don't want her to anyway. I just feel that someday she'll see me differently.

I sure hope that someday comes sooner than later. I'll take later though. Better late than never.

Back to the story, I decided to have some fun and sing along to Lily on bended knee, hands on my heart in a sort of "lovesick prat serenading fair lady" pose. My singing amused her rather than annoyed her, so that's a good sign.

Lily let me look through the rest of her records and we listened to some other songs. I found that I really like the Beatles. I made her listen to "I'll Get You" again and that time I danced with her.

She seemed very surprised that I can dance. But I can. I can waltz, tango, foxtrot, swing; you name it, my parents made me learn it. I never thought that knowing how to dance would be of any use whatsoever, but I guess I was wrong.

Things were going swimmingly until her sister, Petunia, showed up in the doorway.

I have to say, her sister isn't a very pleasant person. She doesn't seem to like Lily very much, which is reason enough for me not to like Petunia. Not to be critical or mean, but I don't like her name either. Lily is much prettier name.

Anyway, Petunia made a comment questioning Lily's dislike of me and got Lily rather flustered. ("Don't like him, huh? Can't stand him?")

What a snob. What kind of sibling treats her sister like that? If she had been joking it would have been one thing, but she wasn't, she was just being mean.

I covered for Lily by telling Petunia that Lily did hate me and that was okay, I'd get her in the end. (Notice the allusion to the song)

Lily looked stunned. Her mouth was hanging open and she rather resembled a goldfish. Mind you, a very pretty goldfish.

We were rescued when Mrs. Evans called us down to supper. Mrs. Evans wanted to know what took so long, so Lily told her about the record ordeal, minus the part where we danced.

Petunia opened her mouth, undoubtedly to make some snide remark, but she shut it again rather quickly with a wince. Since Lily was sitting across from her, I can safely assume that she kicked Petunia in the shins. Sirius and I do it often enough to one another; I can tell the signs.

Mr. and Mrs. Evans must have forgiven me for the note at Easter, because Mrs. Evans made sure that Lily and I sat on the two-person swing. I like Mrs. Evans. She cooks well and she wants Lily and me to be together. Lovely woman.

Trying to be a gracious guest, I told Lily that I'd had a nice time at her house. That approach didn't yield much response, so I informed her of my decision to buy a record player. Only, I pronounced it ree-cod. She corrected my mistake, but said little else. We sat there in an uncomfortable silence while everybody else carried on conversation. Well, Petunia kept to herself, but our parents talked.

I had something to ask Lily, but I sat there debating whether to ask it or not. And no, it was not about asking her out. I had strict restrictions not to. After several moments of opening my mouth and then snapping it shut again, I finally just spit it out. I asked her why she hates me.

Dumb, I know, but I needed to hear it from her. Sirius and Remus and all of her friends have told me numerous numbers of times, but she's never said it herself. I wanted to hear it from her own lips.

And do you know what? Lily doesn't hate me. She just doesn't like me very much. (Her words!)

Well, that's good news at least. Not liking me is certainly better than hating me. Not liking is significantly better than hating. It's much closer to like than it is to hate.

In any case, I decided to ask her why she doesn't like me very much.

Lily: "Hasn't Remus filled you in on that?"

Again with the Remus thing...

Me: "I want to hear it from you."

While I wanted her to answer truthfully, I wasn't sure she actually would. This isn't to say that I thought Lily would lie to me, I just thought she'd try and evade the question.

But she didn't. She answered me and she doesn't like me because I bully people like Snape.

Being the stupid prat that I am, I threw everything that Remus told me right out the bloody window. I...asked her if she'd ever go out with me. And as if that wasn't idiotic enough, when she said no, I told she was going to go out with me someday.

Stupid, stupid, stupid. I should be shot.

Lily didn't take kindly to being told that she was going to date me, (I wonder why?) and became angry with me. I had been doing so well, too. Guess all good things come to an end. More like my common sense comes to an end.

We exchanged some words and she ended it by telling me to bugger off. And for once in my life, I listened to her, shut up, and left her alone. At least I did something right.

* * *

**After carefully assessing your visit to Lily's, I've come to a conclusion.**

**You're improving, James. You really are. Don't be discouraged mate. You're just beginning this "new James" thing. Time cures all.**

You of all people should know that time does not cure all.

**Well, what I was trying to say is that given time, you'll get better at knowing what to say, (or what not to say,) and Lily will start to realize you're growing up.**

I'm changing, becoming a new person.

**That's what I said. Growing up.**

* * *

I was so wound up in the events of the other day I forgot to mention that my mother invited the Evans over for tea on Friday afternoon.

I just about had a nervous break down going to Lily's house and now I have to go through the process again, except this time she's coming here. I have to clean!

Oh Merlin! Lily at my house! Sitting on my furniture, eating off my dishes, touching my stuff...

* * *

_Clean? Lily is coming to your house and all you can think about is cleaning? I thought I'd raised you better Prongs._

* * *

I have a brother! Well, not really, but it will be like having one.

Sirius got into an argument with his family and ran away for good. The Black's are an old wizarding family and very prideful of being what some like to refer to as "pure-blood".

Lately, there's been news of a wizard named Voldemort who's rising to power. He's said to be a big supporter of the purity of blood. All of the Blacks, except Sirius, are in favor of the pure-blood concept and this guy.

So Sirius left. It's not just this Voldemort character that sent Sirius over the edge though. It's a lifetime's worth of little disagreements. This was just the last straw for all of them.

My parents have said that Sirius can live with us until he's of age or finished school, whichever he prefers. So now I'll have Sirius living down the hall from me all day every day. The one place I had a little privacy...gone.

In all seriousness, (no pun intended) I am glad that Sirius came here. He truly is like a brother to me. Still, for all he's like my brother, I don't trust him around my notebook.

Time for a new password.

* * *

I'M QUIDDITCH CAPTAIN!!!!!!!

My Hogwarts letter came today and with it was a letter from McGonagall saying that she's naming me quidditch captain! This is what I've been waiting for since my first year! And I wasn't even on the team then!

Remus went home this afternoon, because his mum is sick. She came down with pneumonia the other day and Remus thought it would be better if he were there to help his dad with things at home.

I have the sneaking suspicion that he just doesn't want to be here when Lily and her family come.

Oh my gosh! I was so excited about being named captain, completely forgot about them coming! I only have three days to clean my room!

* * *

**Why wouldn't Remus want to be here when Lily comes? I thought he liked her.**

Remus likes Lily? Since when? Are you sure?

**No!**

Why aren't you sure? You said he did!

**Calm down, Prongs. I mean that he likes her as a friend.**

Oh. That's all?

**Yes.**

Why did you say he liked her?

**The way you said that you thought he was going home so he wouldn't be here when Lily comes made it sound as though he were avoiding Lily.**

Oh. Just say so next time.

**Well, pardon. Maybe you need to be more specific.**

This is ending right now.

**What's ending?**

This stupid notebook conversation. It's pointless. Especially since we're sitting right next across from each other and saying what we're writing out loud.

**You have to admit it's rather funny.**

No, it's not. And it's ending now.

* * *

_James has gone mad. I'll swear it in front of the Minister of Magic myself._

_He's cleaning his room. Again. He just cleaned it yesterday!_

_And you know what the really sad part is? His room wasn't even messy to begin with. The House elves keep it so clean you could eat off the floor._

_But does he notice this? Nooo! His room has to be spick and span for Lily._

_It's not like she's going to spend that much time -_

_Oh Merlin. The subject of conversation just walked in and asked if I knew the dusting spell. That's sad, that is._

_Anyway, as I was saying, it's not as though she's going to be spending that much time in there. Unless James has plans I don't know about. But James doesn't have plans I don't know about because he can't keep secrets from me. It's a proven fact and I'm writing in example A._

* * *

I can too keep secrets from you...I just pretend to let you know all of my secrets.

And my room was too messy! There were two shirts, five quills, eight books and exactly fifty-three socks underneath my bed.

So there.

* * *

_James, you have no secrets from me. I know them all._

_I know about the time that you ate an entire acid pop and had to have your tongue and insides of your mouth re-grown._

_I know about the time back in first year that you sent Katherine Devon an anonymous love letter._

_See? I know plenty of "secrets" about you._

* * *

Those aren't secrets!

_Yes they are!_

They aren't secrets if you, Remus and Peter know about them!

_But it's a secret among us four!_

Give me back my notebook.

* * *

Lily will be here in less than an hour!

I've decided to think before I speak so I won't say stuff I'll regret. For once, I feel confident that tonight will go well.

* * *

Wow. I'm in so much trouble it's not even funny. Oh well, it was for a good cause.

Let's just say a few pepper imps found their way into Petunia's teacup. I don't know how it could have happened. It's not like I was the one who carried the tea trays or anything. No, of course not.

My father yelled at me until he was hoarse, but it was well worth it. She deserved it. I think my new happy thought for a Patronus Charm is the look on Petunia's face when she realized her mouth was smoking. Classic.

Everything else went smoothly. Lily seemed a bit surprised by my room. I'm not sure why she would be. Sure, it's kind of big, and there are an insane number of quidditch posters on the walls, and I have lots of random quidditch paraphernalia, but other than that, it's just like any other sixteen-year-old wizard's bedroom.

Oh... I forgot that Lily wouldn't have seen many wizarding homes. She fits into the wizarding world so well I tend to forget that she's Muggleborn.

The stupid prat who calls himself my best friend left my idea notebook out on my writing desk in plain view of the whole world. True, it was closed, but it still drew Lily's attention. She didn't comment on it, but I could see the questioning look on her face.

I didn't ask her out once this visit and we didn't fight at all. I loved it. If things could be like that between us more often I feel certain that we could be friends and even maybe eventually more. But for now, I'd be content with friends.

* * *

**Cherry:** I do like getting more personal reviews from people. It is rather annoying to see "Update!" is the only thing they bothered to write. I guess I should be grateful that they bothered at all, but it still irks me.

I'm sorry you didn't understand the engraving thing. I apologize. Basically, what the idea was, is that James enchanted all the desks to have the engraving on them and when anyone touched them, you could hear Lily's voice saying the whole "L.E. J.P." thing. Since this is a counterpart to Lily's point of view, when I originally wrote many of pranks that James pulls on Lily, I didn't plan out how he managed it. So now the second time around, I have to think of ways for things to happen, and sometimes, I completely run out of ideas. Sorry. :-(

**PammaPotter:** This is a counterpart story. It clearly says so in my summary, at the beginning of Chapter One and in a few other chapters. I've already written this story from Lily's point of view. It's called "In This Journal". This story is the counterpart to that one. And no, I'm sorry, I won't be writing this again from a third person point of view. As much as I love this story, twice is enough. I hope this chapter was long enough for you!

**Loves to Read:** We only have about 1,050 students, and we're the second smallest school in our area! I can't even imagine having only 60 people in my whole class!

**Queen Of Day Dreams:** Like father, like son. Everyone always portrays James as so suave and dashing, so I made him mess up. :-) I honestly have no clue when James is going to admit that it's a journal. I only know that he will.

**Spikora:** James is an attention seeker isn't he? How ironic that he thinks (or he did) that getting her attention was the way to go, when it was the exact opposite all the time.

**dragonzflame:** Just thought I'd let you know that I haven't forgotten about your idea that I promised to use. I'm still planning on using it and we'll see it in a couple of chapters or so.

**Some12:** Eh...sorry about the grammar mistakes. It seems like no matter how many times I look it over, I still miss something and then realize it the moment after I update.

**bLuECoW219:** Thanks for reading my stories and please keep reading this one!

**DOJ:** Thanks! I liked the part about James's mind going blank too. You're right, so many authors make James out to be this perfect guy who always knows what to do or say, but nobody is always like that. I have lots of fun making James human.

**tinkerbelldetention101:** It's perfectly okay to be proud of James, I am too!

**emps:** Oh, thanks! No, I won't be using that password idea, but it's given me an idea for one...

**ChaosMage28:** You know, I realize that you want me to update, but reviewing about it five times isn't going to make it happen any faster. I would like to be able to update more, but I'm busy and my schoolwork comes first, followed by my clarinet and babysitting two nights a week after school. That's just the way it is. And I slightly resent being refereed to as an evil person.

**bluestar:** That's okay that you haven't reviewed. I know you're out there reading! James is defiantly going to keep pranking Snape, although he will lay off a little.

James is going to keep on writing after Lily reads it. I don't know how far it will go, obviously at least until they start dating, but after that, I'm open to suggestions or whatever my mind comes up with, which is not a whole lot right now.

I understand what you were saying about James still writing in it and Lily not knowing about it...um...I'd have to say, I never even thought about if he still wrote in it or not when I was writing my other story. I suppose though, that he still did. He probably kept it more to his dorm, but even if she saw it occasionally, she wouldn't question it since she knew what it was.

You're right; James is starting to see Lily as more of a person than just someone up on an unreachable pedestal. He's not quite where he needs to be, but we all know that's coming!

**Cleopatra Lunare:** I could never be a comedian. I'm much more funny on paper than in person. I'm not much for thinking of things at the drop of a hat, so I enjoy being able to think out responses. Thanks for reading!

**MuGgLeNeT27:** Yeah, you do sound like a telemarketer, but that's okay. :-) Thanks for inviting to me to be staff member, but I'm going to have to decline. I spend way too much time on the computer as it is and I don't think I have the time to devout to something like this.

But if you want to put my story on your list of favorite stories, go right ahead. Thanks for asking my permission first, I greatly appreciate that and I feel very honored to have even been asked in the first place.

**RabidEnyaFan:** I don't have a Malfoy fic...maybe you're thinking of "Midnight Jealousy" and the guy under the hood...? And if that is what you're thinking of, the guy under the hood isn't Malfoy.

**gabriella:** I just want to say thank you for such an inspiring review! At the time I received it, I was really feeling like I didn't want to be writing this anymore and I couldn't motivate myself to work on this. But your review helped me to get busy on this chapter and now here it is!

**Lady Farevay:** I'm glad you like my portrayal of James! I like James's perspective too. It never fails to be highly interesting. Thanks for reviewing this story and all of my others. Please keep reading!

**My thanks to:**

J.E.A.R.K.Potter

JKRobsessed

LilliannaRose

little pink sock

Laughing Dragoness

i-h8-sclub

the-insufferable-know-it-all

Ildreen Love

The Great Charlotte

little-angel12345200

chippagirl

MPPSexxySiriusJamesRemus

Kita


	10. All Because of a Chocolate Frog

**Disclaimer:** I don't own the characters. Only the plot.

**Beta by:** ilovethedotgame

**Chapter Ten: All Because of a Chocolate Frog**

* * *

James Potter

_Sirius Black_

**Remus Lupin**

**Peter Pettigrew**

* * *

Sirius and I went to Diagon Alley today to buy our supplies for the upcoming term. I didn't see Lily there, but as I'm going to see her on the train and everyday for the rest of the school term, I suppose I'll live. Nevertheless, not seeing her was slightly disappointing.

I'm ready to go back to Hogwarts. I love my parents and all of the quidditch posters in my room, but there's no better place than with your friends.

* * *

The guys and I sat with the girls on the train ride to Hogwarts. I tried to keep a conversation going, but Lily didn't seem particularly interested. Pity.

I did get her attention when I asked her where she had thought of the name for her owl (Galadriel). She started to tell me it was the name of an elf in some book, but then stopped mid sentence with a highly suspicious look on her face and asked how I knew the name of her owl.

Oops. It's not as though how I found out is a big secret, but it just seems like I know random things about her. Well, I do, but that makes me sound like a stalker. And even if on some level, I was, or am, a stalker, I don't want Lily to think of me as one.

After this great internal debate that raged for thirty seconds ended, I told her the truth. It was in the letter she sent to my mother about what time my family should arrive at her house for dinner.

Lily then accused me of reading other people's mail and remained skeptical even when I told her that I had asked permission to read the letter. Being the idiot I am, I asked Sirius to back me up on this fact.

I've known Sirius for six years and I trusted him. That was smart. Well, Sirius can be trusted with some things, but asking him for help with Lily is definitely not one of them. He kindly informed her that I had begged on bended knee for fifteen minutes to read her letter.

Prat. I did not beg on bended knee! I didn't even beg. All I said was, "Mum, can I read the letter?" and she handed it over. Leave it to Sirius to make me seem even more desperate than I already am. This just adds to my stalker image.

Remus decided we needed a subject change and mentioned that I had been named quidditch captain this year. I swear he was testing me to see if I would boast about my newfound position.

Although I desperately wanted to jump onto the seat and shout it out for the whole train to hear, I kept my comments about being team captain to the fact that I'm happy about it. Okay, slight under exaggeration, but the last thing is I want is Lily thinking that I think I'm better than everyone else just because of my new position. Which, I don't.

It must also be noted that this time when the food trolley lady came by, I bought several chocolate frogs, but did attempt to buy anything for Lily. I merely offered her one of mine.

It's strange, but that seemed to make her very happy. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw her smile to herself. Wonderful progress has been made today. And all because of a chocolate frog.

* * *

I just had a very odd conversation with Lily in the common room. Odd, but…good. And informative.

I was sitting in front of the fireplace messing with the golden snitch that I liberated from the quidditch store cupboard last year when she approached me. Now, I realize that it was wrong to steal it, but I was an idiot back then. I didn't know any better. Well, maybe I did, but I didn't care that I was an idiot. I didn't care about much of anything until Lily came along.

Anyway, Lily stood next to my chair for a moment, arms folded, a questioning look on her face. I was closing my fingers around the snitch after another successful catch when she asked me if I was a chaser.

Initially, I was slightly outraged. I know she doesn't like me a great deal, but she attends quidditch matches; she knows I'm a chaser.

I slowly admitted, that, yes, I was. She looked satisfied, which I found strange until she asked me if I was a chaser, why was I carrying around a snitch?

Everything made sense then. I responded that the seeker position wasn't open when tried out and that I am perfectly content being a chaser. And I am. Being a chaser is a lot of work, but it's very rewarding to score the points for your team and help ensure a Gryffindor victory. Or whichever team you may be on. But that's neither here nor there.

Then, Lily informed me that since I was a chaser I should be carrying a quaffle around instead of a snitch. While it would make more sense, since the snitch doesn't really concern me during the game, except for the fact that my seeker needs to catch it, carrying a quaffle around would look ridiculous. And I, James Potter, do not look ridiculous.

_Some might question that statement. It is highly debatable. Your hair is always at funny angles and your glasses are nearly always crooked and slipping down your nose. _

If you're done critiquing my appearance, I'd like to finish this entry.

_Just kidding, mate. You don't have to be so snarky. _

I'm allowed to be snarky when certain people keep summoning my notebook away from me.

_Journal. _

Notebook.

_Journal. _

Notebook, and anyway, Lily's comment made me think. Why do I carry that snitch around all the time?

_Because it makes you look cool in front of all your adoring admirers. _

No! Well…maybe it started out that way, but it's not because of that anymore. I don't know why I carry it…I'm a chaser, not a seeker… I'm putting the snitch in the box and stuffing the box under my bed.

_Forever?_

Forever.

* * *

It must be noted that I have not asked Lily out since last year. I hope she's noticed. I would hate to have worked this hard and not have her notice that I'm at least making an effort.

* * *

**Since you're at quidditch practice right now, James, I'm taking this opportunity to write in your notebook.**

**She's noticed, Prongs. During Astronomy last night, I heard Lily tell Hestia that you hadn't asked her out all year. **

* * *

Just when I think things are finally getting better between Lily and me, I have to go and muck it up. No, I didn't ask her out. I just made her angry.

Tonight I was bored, and since my Potions paper isn't due for a week, I had nothing to do. So, I pulled out my handy dandy map and located Lily. Being the good student that she is, she was in the library finishing her work early. I headed down to the library, taking a few books with me to make it look as though I was going to do homework.

Walking up to Lily's table, I asked her if I could sit down. Last year I would have sauntered up and sat down without so much as a hello, but I'm coming to realize that that just sitting down without asking is quite rude. Asking is defiantly worth it, because she said yes!

We worked in silence for a good amount of time. Well, she worked while I pretended to work, stealing glances at her every now and then. But then I got bored. Pretending to write a two-roll parchment essay on the properties of the forgetfulness potion can only be entertaining for a very minimal amount of time.

The quidditch player in me came out, and I asker her if she was planning on attending the Slytherin versus Gryffindor match that's coming up in a couple of weeks. I had expected her to instantly reply that she was coming, but what she had to say surprised me.

Lily will only be coming if she doesn't have too much work to do. The quidditch match of the season and she might have too much homework to come? That's just…I mean…she…it…quidditch.

She told me that her schoolwork came before watching my match. Don't get me wrong, I care about my grades, but quidditch is important to me, too. A match doesn't take that long, she'll still have time to do her homework. I don't understand it.

And because I don't understand her logic on this, I said things I shouldn't have. I tried to make her see things from my point of view. Needless to say, it didn't work. I ended up angering her and I was actually slightly rude to her.

I'm so depressed. I'm going to go fly around the pitch for a while.

* * *

**What did you say?**

**Please say it wasn't anything too bad that you can't undo with an apology! Oh please, oh please.**

* * *

Oh, fine, you nosy people. To continue with my story from yesterday, I casually asked if she was going to Hogsmeade this Saturday and –

**You didn't! **

No, I didn't ask her out! I just kind of…hinted at the fact that we might both be in Hogsmeade this weekend.

**Real smart, Prongs. **

That wasn't the reason she got mad at me!

_Really?_

**Then why is she mad at you if you didn't ask her out?**

I told you before; I insulted her! She responded that - oh I'm too lazy and depressed right now to write it all out in detail.

Lily: "Possibly."

Me: "Only if all your homework gets done I suppose."

Lily: "I don't need your attitude Potter."

Me: "I'd look at your own attitude a little more closely Evans before you talk about my attitude."

Lily: "Go away!"

_I know you've been in a bad mood lately, Prongs, but I never thought you'd be mean to Lily._

**I think you made a good point. I mean, she's been nothing but mean to you and then she's telling you off for one snarky comment. Seems a bit hypocritical to me. **

_Hmmm, I think you've got a fair point Peter._

**Yes, yes, Lily has been slightly vicious towards James in the past, but let's not forget that he was always asking her out, pranking her and practically stalking her. I think that Lily was very gracious about the whole ordeal, all things considering.**

_Eh…hadn't thought of that.  
_

**Well we know that.**

Can I finish?

**Go ahead.**

Thank you, Peter. At least somebody around here realizes that this is my notebook. To conclude she told me to go away and I did. End of depressing story.

**It wasn't that bad.**

_Just apologize to her. Then take her in your arms and kiss her passionately!_

**Don't go giving him ideas like that! In case you haven't noticed we're trying to steer him clear of stupid ideas.**

_Oh, come off it. I was just joking._

**Do you think Lily will forgive him?**

**I think so. I think he's genuinely sincere and she's a very forgiving person.**

_James is lucky in that respect. Think of if she wasn't of a forgiving person. _

**We'd probably be picking up what's left of him in the hospital wing right now.**

**Where's James?**

_Sitting next to you._

**No, he's not. He left.**

**When?**

**I don't know! I only just noticed!**

**I'll go check the common room.**

_Prongs is out of the room and we're left with his journal…the possibilities are endless…_

**What are you going to do to James's notebook?**

_Nothing, I was just kidding. But in any case, it's a journal, Wormtail._

**James is always saying it's an idea notebook.**

_Yeah, well, James is also slightly delusional. _

**James is in the common room.**

_What's he doing down there?_

**He's talking to Lily.**

**Has she slapped him yet?**

_Why would she slap him?_

**No, she has not slapped him. He's never usually stupid enough to deserve a slap. James is apologizing.**

**Oh. Is that it?**

_Well, at least we won't have to hear him mutter about her being mad at him now. It was getting rather old, I must say. _

**But it's important that he apologizes. He needs to be on Lily's good side.**

_That would be her right. _

**What?**

_It's my opinion that she looks the best from the right. _

**Better not let James see that.**

You guys are still writing in my notebook? And what am I not supposed to see?

**Nothing.**

_You need to learn to lie Wormtail. _

You think that Lily's good looking!?

_She's a pretty girl, Prongs. I'd have to be blind not to notice that. I don't have feelings for her though and even if I did, I would never act on them because she's yours all the way. _

**She's not his yet.**

**She forgave you, right?**

Yes, thank Merlin. Let's go to the kitchen, I'm starved.

**Supper was two hours ago. How can you possibly be hungry?**

I just am.

_Me too, I'll get the map. _

**I'm coming too!**

**I might as well….**

**

* * *

**

The big match between Gryffindor and Slytherin is coming up soon so I've been scheduling extra practices. I haven't had much time to write in here lately or even to see Lily much. Oh Merlin, that sounded extremely stalkerish. But it's true. I've been really occupied lately and haven't seen much of anyone except my quidditch team.

Doesn't that sounds brilliant? My quidditch team. James Potter, captain of the Gryffindor Quidditch team.

**

* * *

**

I haven't written in here for exactly two days. And neither have my friends. Maybe I finally found a password that they can't figure out….

I've been extremely busy with quidditch practice this week and these last two days in general. I want to ensure a Gryffindor victory over the Slytherins. I flat out refuse to let them beat us.

Lily's friends and many of the Gryffindor girls in general have taken to wearing red and gold ribbons in their hair in support of our house. I'm sad to report that Lily is wearing no such ribbons. Could it be that she's doing to that to spite me? Or maybe she doesn't care enough to wear a ribbon; that could be it.

I realize that a bright red ribbon would clash horribly with her deep red hair, but all the same, I wish she'd ware one. Not only would she be supporting her house, but also indirectly she'd be supporting me. And I want her to support me. Obviously, her opinion means a lot me, and in this case especially, I'd like to have it. Not that I'm going to swear off quidditch if she doesn't like it, but I still want to know what she thinks of quidditch in general and of me as the Gryffindor captain.

**

* * *

**

_Oh you wish we didn't know your password. (Sirius is a prat and needs to stop writing in my notebook) I just haven't written in your journal because there's nothing to write. _

_You haven't made a prat out of yourself lately; you're slacking off. Lily's having a bad influence on you. _

**

* * *

**

Lily is not a bad influence! She's the best thing that's ever happened to me!

This is not a journal! It is a notebook!

* * *

_I was kidding about the whole Lily's influence thing, mate. Who knew you'd freak out on me like that?_

You sounded serious.

_That's because I am._

**No more of your "serious" "Sirius" puns. I've had enough. **

_Well, aren't we in a mood?_

**Sorry, got a letter from my mum. **

**Sorry, mate.**

**Yeah, me too. **

I'm thinking about writing a speech.

_To do what?_

_If it's a speech to Lily, forget it, because over my dead body are you making any speeches to her. Ever. _

What about when I ask her to marry me?

**WHAT??????**

_I think you just sent Moony into cardiac arrest there, Prongs._

**Don't do it James, Lily will kill you!**

Oh Merlin, I was joking. I don't think I need to be worrying about marriage at age sixteen. Besides, it's not legal until you're eighteen.

_And you know this how…?_

It's common knowledge.

**Sure….**

Hey, I'm going to charm the banners in the Great Hall, anyone want to come?

_A prank! Sure!_

**Okay!**

**What are you going to do to the banners?**

Still alive huh? Pity. Just kidding! I'm going to charm all the banners to be Gryffindor colors with the Gryffindor lion roaring on them. Show everyone just who's going to win this Saturday.

_Sounds neat, let's go. _

* * *

I'm trying to think of a speech to give to help raise our House spirit, but not having much luck. Where's Sirius? He'll help me think of something.

* * *

Am proud to report that the speech went over well and that House moral and spirit is getting higher. We, the quidditch team, need more though. Sure, we're the ones out there playing, but we need our House to back us up and cheer us on all the way.

Everyone, excluding the Slytherins (but who cares about them, anyway?) seemed to enjoy my Gryffindor banners. Lily seemed mildly impressed, a large feat. Must go, have quidditch practice in ten minutes.

* * *

I've decided that we should wear our quidditch robes around the school. What better way to promote the team? And although it sounds pratish (if that's even a word) I think that my quidditch robes make me look rather handsome. And I want Lily to think I'm handsome.

* * *

Stupid friends. They're up in the dorm concocting some potion that's going to kill us all. So, I'm down here in the common room writing in this notebook. I've never written in this anywhere but the dorm or my room at home. It feels weird. I keep glancing around, expecting someone to leap out of the shadows and yell "James Potter writes in a journal!"

And that would be completely wrong because this is not a journal. It's a notebook in which I write about my affections for Lily Evans.

Speaking of Lily, I haven't said much about her lately. Well, to be fair to myself, there hasn't been much to say. Life here at Hogwarts is pretty normal. I haven't made her angry in a while and we're on civil terms with one another. I think that "Project Fix My Personality" can be declared a success.

For the time being anyway. We'll see how things go.

* * *

This morning when I gave a speech to the Gryffindors, I noticed that Lily seemed to be paying attention to what I was saying. Maybe this quidditch fever is rubbing off on her. I hope so. I'd hate to fancy someone who didn't like quidditch.

* * *

_I had an interesting conversation with Lily today when I was paired with her in Potions. _

Well, what did she say?

_I said that you weren't showing off at quidditch just to show off, that you were doing it get her attention. _

I said what did she say. I don't care what you said.

_Gee, thanks, Prongs. That made me feel really loved. _

Get over it.

_Somebody's in a bad mood. _

I want to know what she said!

_She said that she was sure that you had more good qualities than being good at quidditch. So I asked her what they were and she said that, and I quote: "He seems to be a good friend to you and Remus and Peter. He's loyal, chivalrous, he can give a good speech, he's daring, a little reckless perhaps, but he's brave…"_

And?

_She realized that she was complimenting you and stopped. _

Figures.

* * *

Lily is wearing a red and gold ribbon in her hair! And she joined in the "Go Go Gryffindor" chant this morning. I'm too excited to write!

* * *

Gave another speech this morning on that rickety table. I swear, someone needs to fix that thing. It's going to break one of these days when someone sets their books down.

Once again, Lily joined in our rallying chant and marched down to the Great Hall with most of the House. I've seen a lot of neat things, but practically the entire House in two long columns, chanting "Go Go Gryffindor" is something I'll never forget.

Time to go get ready for the match! We're going to win! I can feel it!

* * *

****

**He always thinks they're going to win. **

_That's because we usually do. _

**Yeah, but he says that even when they loose. **

_It's called psyching yourself up for the match, Moony. Get with it. _

* * *

WE WON!!!! YES! Take that Slytherin! Oh, I feel so good! I could kiss Lily, but I won't, because she's likely to kill me if I try that.

Once, I quickly glanced towards Lily's seat in the stands and I saw her watching me and cheering. She came! I was so excited I did a loop-the-loop and scored.

After Frank caught the snitch, people swarmed down onto the pitch and some guys from Gryffindor picked me up and carried me on their shoulders. I admit I was enjoying the attention until I saw Lily. Then I realized that being carried on people's shoulders like a King or something could be seen in a negative way, so I quickly got down and went over to her.

She congratulated me on the victory and you will never guess what I said! I said that it was a team effort! That made her smile.

Must go, the guys and I are going to sneak in Hogsmeade to get food and drinks for the victory party.

* * *

Good news! At the victory party I asked to talk to Lily and she agreed!

I led her over an unoccupied corner of the common room where I hoped that no one would bother us. (Sirius)

I was kind of apprehensive about what I had to say. Seriously, what I had to say was slightly embarrassing. How many times does a bloke give a girl her shoe back? A shoe that he stole?

That's right. I stole her left shoe. Remember that? It was after a quidditch match. I magnified my voice so everyone in the stadium could hear me and asked her out. Lily didn't take kindly to that and threw her shoe at me. I caught it, put it my pocket and there it has stayed.

Until tonight that is. I decided to give it back to her.

At first, Lily didn't even recognize it. Then she asked where it had been, telling me that she'd had Remus search my trunk twice for it.

It was with much embarrassment that I admitted that her shoe had been in the pocket of my quidditch robes for a year. She didn't laugh, but she looked extremely amused and curious.

In all honesty, I thought Lily would laugh in my face. I'd kept her shoe in my pocket for a year as a good luck charm. It's so pathetic it's not even funny.

I tried to give it back to her, but she wouldn't take it. She said that if her shoe was really my good luck charm, she didn't want to take it away. That was nice of her, but then, she is a pretty nice person.

I gave her a kiss on the cheek and went to put her shoe back in my pocket. And she didn't object to the kiss! Not that she welcomes it, but I didn't get slapped! Things couldn't be better if I planned them myself.

* * *

I'm in heaven!

Lily has agreed to be my friend! My friend!

Today was a Hogsmeade visit, so I arranged for all of our friends to leave us alone for a bit. You know, just kind of wander off one by one or two by two.

Everything went as planned, and Lily I were left alone roaming the streets of Hogsmeade. I made sure we wandered towards the Three Broomsticks and the suggested that we go inside.

Lily came up to the bar to get the drinks with me and then, Madame Rosmerta, bless her heart, asked if I'd be paying for my girlfriend.

Last year, I know what my response would have been. I would have slung an arm casually around Lily's arms and said something cocky, which would have made Lily mad and I would have suddenly found myself all alone with two drinks.

But not this year! This year, I'm older and wiser and I told Madame Rosmerta that I would be paying for my friend.

Once we located a table, we sat down. Lily sipped her drink for a minute then set it down quickly. At first, I thought there was something wrong with it, but then she asked me why I had said what I had said up at the bar.

So I told her that while I wanted her to be my girlfriend, if I couldn't have that, then I wanted to be her friend if she'd let me.

And she let me. Lily Evans is my friend!

Project Fix My Personality was definitely a success!

* * *

**Sorry for the wait! I'm hoping to get a lot written over Christmas Break, so I hope the next chapter will be here sooner than this one. **

**Also, I feel bad when I don't respond to every review, so I've decided to start doing that again. **

**And just in case anyone asks, in the part where Sirius says that Lily's best side is her right, he's not trying to hint that he likes her. He's just kidding and trying to ruffle James's feathers. **

**I hope everyone had a good Christmas! **

**Padfootsluvr:** Thanks! I hope you enjoyed this chapter. I hope to have the next one up sooner!

**the-insufferable-know-it-all:** I just love to write and thanks for the compliment, that really made me feel special, but I'm not one of the best writers on fan fiction. There are so many people who write better than I do. Thanks though!

**JKRobsessed:** I do the same thing when stories I like update. Thanks for reviewing! '

**Queen Of Day Dreams:** lol, I know what you mean. I don't even want to look under my bed. You knows what I'd find!

**DOJ:** I did mess that one part up! Oh, I feel so stupid, messing up my own characters lines. I paid extra close attention this time, so they should be right!

**dragonzflame:** It may take awhile, but I will always update. I love writing too much not to. Sorry your suggestion isn't in this chapter, but I promise it will be in the next one. I already have a place for it in the plot and everything!

**J.E.A.R.K.Potter:** Thanks for always reviewing!

**Some12:** My friends and I do that too! I like James's point of view too. Well, I would hope I did, since I'm writing a story from his perspective. But James's take on things is always so fun read.

**Emps:** Thanks! And no, you can't have Sirius! I need him! :-)

**Laughing Dragoness:** Thanks, I know what you mean about Lily falling in love with James even though he's the biggest idiot to walk the earth. That bothers me, so naturally, I decided to write it the way I see it. From what we learned in book five, James definitely would have had to change to have a chance with Lily.

**Spikora:** No, sorry. These secrets James talks about are all in his head. He has no secrets. :-)

**tinkerbelldetention101:** Thanks! Please keep reviewing!

**LilliannaRose:** Actually, James is only sixteen right now, but you're right, it did take him a while He's getting better all the time now.

**lilyandjamesrox:** Thanks! Please keep reading!

**Lady Farevay:** James? Innocent? I'm not sure those words belong in the same sentence! Hehe, well, to be fair, he's definitely improving and well on his way to winning Lily's heart, although that comes later. Was it you who asked about who was under the hood in "Midnight Jealousy"? I think you did. Anyway, it's not really anybody, just some random guy in James's imagination. Not very exciting, but that's all. Thanks! I think your review just made my day!

**Eratosthenese:** I know! Stupid me, messing up the fonts. Sorry about that mix up. I hope I didn't mess up this time.

**notanauthor:** Thanks for reading! I appreciate your review!

**Eireness:** I'm glad you thought it was funny!


	11. Being Her Friend

**Disclaimer:** I don't own the characters. Only the plot.

**Beta by:** ilovethedotgame

* * *

**Chapter Eleven: Being Her Friend**

* * *

**This Chapt****er is dedicated to Dragonzflame, who gave me an idea for this story along (a really long)time ago, and now I'm finally getting to use it.**

* * *

James Potter 

_Sirius Black_

**Remus Lupin**

**Peter Pettigrew**

* * *

I'm still reeling from recent events. Lily's my friend. I can have conversations with her. I can walk to class with her. Not that I didn't do all those things before, but it was mostly me following Lily and her yelling at me. Now we have civil discussions and help each other with homework.

I noticed something about Lily and her friends. She smiles at them and laughs with them. That's what I wanted with my friendship with Lily. And now I have that.

Life is so good.

* * *

_Prongs is currently singing in the shower. _

_And sounding like someone who's being tortured. Good Merlin, make him stop! _

* * *

Someday I'm going to get fed up with Sirius and find a replacement for his best friend position.

Today in Potions, he told Lily about my shower singing. Or more accurately, he told her that I sounded like, and I quote, "A seagull that was being strangled".

She laughed so hard that she knocked over the cauldron she was working at with Sirius (they were paired together for the day) and the potion spilled onto the floor. Lily got off lucky with only a hole burned in her shoe, but alas, most of the potion ended up on Sirius.

Needless to say he's up in the hospital wing as we speak. All the skin on his stomach needs to be re-grown andhis feet are pretty bad off too.

I'm going to go visit him now, take him some Zonkos stuff to cheer him up.

* * *

Just when I thought that life couldn't get any better, it did! I'm so happy I could sing! Well, I'll spare my friends that agony, but that's how good I feel!

While I was visiting Sirius, Lily showed up with a box and a card for him. I guess she felt bad about getting him sent to the hospital wing. She really shouldn't, it was an accident.

All three of us started talking about school and classes and then Sirius fell asleep. At least that's what Lily thinks. I happen to know that Sirius was faking it. He normally snores loud enough to wake the dead, but he was only breathing heavily.

Deciding to take advantage of the situation, I kept talking. Lily didn't seem to mind. I ended up telling her about the time that Sirius and I thought it would be great fun to try and jump off the stands unto our brooms. Bad idea that. I broke my arm in five different places.

Then I told her about the time that Peter hit me in the head with a telescope while I was walking in front of him. I spent five days out cold in the hospital wing after that incident.

Why I told her these things, I'm not sure, but it felt right to be talking to Lily about them. She didn't laugh, even though my stories were laughable.

It was when she called me Potter that I realized something. She calls Sirius, Remus and Peter by their first names, but I'm always Potter. Never James.

I asked her why she always called me Potter. Lily looked thoughtful for a moment, and then told me that she guessed it was out of habit.

So, I asked if she could start a new habit and call me James. She said she could.

James! I'm not Potter anymore! I'm James! Hallelujah!

* * *

I forgot to mention that yesterday on our way back to the dorms, Lily say that she was having trouble with transfiguration. So I offered to help her. We're meeting in the library today at 7:30. Dear Merlin, it's 7:20 now! I have to go!

* * *

Lily's smarter than I thought. Not that I thought she was stupid or anything, but she picked up on this material really quickly. I have the sneaking suspicion that she had an idea about the stuff, she just wanted to make sure she knew it 100. Lily's like that.

Working with her tonight, I realized something. (I seem to be doing a lot of that this year) I know when her birthday is, who her friends are, what classes she enjoys, what classes she can't stand and some other random facts, but the truth is, that I don't really know Lily Evans at all.

I don't know her dreams and aspirations. I don't know anything about her family. I don't know her values and principles. I don't know her as a person.

Must do something about that.

* * *

**Bravo James! That was extremely perceptive! You've come so far. **

_Let's not get all sentimental. I just ate you know. _

**What do you mean you don't know Lily? Sure you know her. **

**I'll explain it to you later, Peter. **

**Okay. **

* * *

I was just released from the hospital wing. Actually, half of the sixth year Gryffindors were just released from the hospital wing. You see, it all started three days ago on the second floor corridor on the way to Transfiguration.

I was walking next to Lily (because we're friends and that's something that friends do) when she accidentally bumped into Snape. A few of his books were knocked to the ground and Lily was in the process of picking them up when he told her that her that he didn't need a Mudblood touching his stuff.

I was ready to beat Snape to a pulp, but Lily placed herself between us. Honestly, I know the girl means well, but that's the second time he's called her a Mudblood.

I told her to move, but she wouldn't. I tried to make her see reason, that I had to defend my friend's honor, but she said that she wasn't going to let me degrade my self-worth by sinking to the level of a Slytherin.

And I started to believe her. It reminded me of the lake incident last year. When I call Snape names and treat him like he treats Muggleborns I'm no better than be is. I won't forget that lesson again.

Then Snape hit a low blow and said, "So, this is what has become of the high and mighty James Potter, taking orders from Mudbloods…" He didn't get any farther because from behind Lily and me Sirius came running and sent a hex towards Snape that threw him into the air.

Snape got up and sent a curse back at Sirius that caused a gash to open in the side of his head, spattering blood everywhere. I couldn't just stand there, watching, so I had to help Sirius. What are best friends for?

We started fighting, both with wands and fists, with more people from both Gryffindor and Slytherin joining in. What really surprised me was that Lily joined in the fight. I'm not sure why or how, but for reasons unknown to me, she did.

The fight got pretty nasty. Someone's wand, (we found out later it was a Slytherin named Nott) was sent flying, Peeves caught it and started setting fire to the tapestries hanging on the wall.

I had a black eye, a large gash in my shoulder that wouldn't stop bleeding, and it felt like someone had kicked me in the side, which they might have. Sirius's robes were torn, and he had blood all over him. Remus got his nose broken and poor Peter was knocked unconscious. Lily was covered in boils, no thanks to Narcissa Black.

And then Professor McGonagall was there, pulling me away from a Slytherin by the name of Lestrange. I knew that McGonagall could be scary, but dear Merlin, the tone she used…I never, ever, ever, ever want to hear anything like that as long as I live.

McGonagall yelled at us for what seemed like hours and then we were escorted to the hospital wing. All of us spent the night there, the Gryffindors on one side of the room and the Slytherins on the other. Professor McGonagall herself set up a magical barrier between us so that no one would try and carry on the fight.

Yesterday the Gryffindors and Slytherins had a talk with Professor Dumbledore. Or rather he reprimanded us some more. Everyone received detention for the next three weeks at seven o'clock. I'm also on probation as quidditch captain.

If I mess up one more time, that's it for me. I'd better stick to the straight and narrow. I don't want to have to loose my position as captain, not when I've worked for hard for it.

As our Gryffindor prefects, Remus and Lily are both on probation too. I feel bad, that I got Lily into that situation. She didn't have to get involved.

I have to go polish the trophies now. Without magic. Joy. At least I get to serve this detention with Lily.

* * *

_You conveniently forgot to mention that during the fight, someone charmed your hair to be bright pink. If you look at your head at just the right angle, you can still see a hint of pink. _

_And you didn't get Lily involved in anything. She willingly joined that fight to keep Nott from hexing you to kingdom come. _

* * *

Lily joined the fight to help me out?

**Yeah, she was the one who disarmed Nott. **

You mean she's responsible for the burnt wall tapestries?

_Indirectly. Peeves set them on fire, but Lily was the one who supplied the wand. _

She joined in to help me…I'm still comprehending this fact…

**She's your friend. It's what any friend would do. **

That's right! Lily's my friend!

* * *

You know those two-way mirrors we made to use when we have separate detentions?

_I should hope so. I thought of the idea. _

You remember when I called you using them tonight during detention?

_It was two hours ago! Of course I remember!_

Just checking. Anyway, Lily was there and saw me use it!

_Is that supposed to be good? That our prefect now knows about the mirrors?_

Remus is a prefect and he knows about them. Why should Lily be any different?

_Because unlike Moony, she actually enforces the rules when it comes to you. Or have you forgotten the number of points you've lost our House because of her?_

I haven't forgotten, but she's different this year.

**No, you're different. Lily's not any different; you're just seeing her differently. **

This is true.

**Why do we always talk about Lily?**

_Because she's the only thing Prongs thinks about. _

Can we get back to what this entry was about?

**Wasn't it about Lily?**

**Well we knew that. **

About the mirrors?

_Oh, yeah. _

Anyway, to get back on track here, when she saw me using the mirror she wanted to know where I had bought it When I told her that you and I had made them, she was really impressed. So I offered to help her make ones for her and her friends. Isn't that great?

**I'm hungry. **

Does nobody care about me?

**I'm hungry too. **

_Can we borrow your cloak James?_

Fine! I'm coming too.

* * *

If I didn't already think that Mrs. Evans is one of the nicest people I've ever met, I would think so now.

This morning, Lily received a post from her mother. Now, normally this isn't a big event, but it was this morning. Lily read her letter then said something to Hestia, which caused Hestia to snatch the letter from Lily and give it to me.

At first, I was slightly puzzled why she was giving the letter to me, but once I had read it, it made perfect sense.

Mrs. Evans asked about me more than she did about Lily!

Lily seemed slightly miffed, but then I might too if my mother wrote a letter to me and barely asked after me at all. Unless of course, she asked about Lily. Because then I wouldn't mind; after all, as we all know, Lily is my favorite subject to talk about.

* * *

I have decided to try a new route and attempt to make Lily jealous.

I'll ask some random girl to go to Hogsmeade with me. Lily will see me and realize what she's missing out on.

Now who to ask? A Hogsmeade weekend isn't for a while so I have plenty of time. What about one of Lily's friends? That way I wouldn't inadvertently get some girl's hopes up about dating me, because it's not happening. Lily is the only girl for me.

I'd be willing to bet a galleon that Hestia or Emmeline will help me. Alice might not think it's a good idea, but if I can get the other two girls in on it, I'll be good.

* * *

**You are going to do no such thing! Do you want to ruin everything? **

* * *

How would that ruin everything?

**You think if Lily found out that she'd be happy about it? Don't you think she'd be a little unhappy that you tried to manipulate her?**

Okay, so she would, but she doesn't have to know.

**Oh, she'd know. **

How?

**If you use one of her friends that's a dead give away. And it would look just a tad suspicious if you suddenly went to Hogsmeade with another girl when you're supposed to be head over heals for her. **

She knows I still fancy her?

**How could she not?**

But we're friends now.

**And Sirius just told her the other day you still have feelings for her. Besides, she knew anyway. **

How?

**I'm not even going to answer that. You're not going to try and make her jealous and that's final. **

Yes, mother.

**I mean it, if you try it behind my back, it won't work. And I'll tell Lily what you're doing.**

Fine! I get the point. Sorry, bad idea. Nothing good comes from a lack of sleep.

* * *

I attended a quidditch match between Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff. And I got to sit by Lily. I explained the rules to her (again) and helped her to understand what was going on.

She actually seemed to enjoy my company too. I like that she likes me. As a friend of course, but that's fine. Lily's a wonderful friend. She's kind, caring and understanding. I couldn't ask for a better friend than Lily Evans.

* * *

**I was planning to update sooner, but our firewall decided to block my internet, so I haven't had a chance to update before now. As it is, I have to update at the library, so I'm very sorry to say that I can't respond to your reviews. I feel really, really, really bad about this, but I only have so many minutes on the computer and I just don't have time to respond. I have read them though and thank you to all who reviewed! I'm glad that everyone is liking the new James and please keep reading and reviewing!**


	12. Secrets Revealed

**Disclaimer:** I don't own the characters. Only the plot.

**Beta by:** ilovethedotgame

**Chapter Twelve: Secrets Revealed**

* * *

James Potter

_Sirius Black_

**Remus Lupin**

**Peter Pettigrew**

**_All text in bold italic is the author. So you don't confuse me with anyone else in this story!_**

* * *

What do you get a girl for Christmas?

That question alone is hard enough, but what do you get a girl who you happen to be head over heals for, but is also your friend?

The answer is quite simple.

I have no clue.

And, not only do I not know what to get for Lily, but I don't want any suggestions from anyone else. I want to pick out her gift all by myself.

Good luck to me.

* * *

**Did you like the Quidditch poster I made for you?**

Why did you feel the need to make a gigantic poster of me playing quidditch to display for the entire school to see?

**I'm the head of your cheering section. It's my job. **

Lily probably thought it was an ego inflator.

**She helped me with the charm work on the poster.**

Really?

**Really.**

* * *

I'm fair to bursting with news! I was just in Dumbledore's office for setting off dungbombs outside of the Ancient Runes classroom. Over the last five years, visiting Dumbledore's office has been a rather common occurrence, so naturally I've come to know the headmaster quite well. 

Ever since first year, I've known Lily was an exceptional witch, and everyone has always assumed that she'll be Head Girl next year. So, while I was there, I took the opportunity to ask Dumbledore about Lily's chances at being Head Girl.

I can safely say that unless Lily suddenly decides to become a rule breaker, which is as about as likely as penguins flying, she's going to be Head Girl.

I envy the lucky bloke who gets to work as Head Boy with her.

* * *

Today I told Lily something that only my friends know: I'm going to be an Auror when I leave of Hogwarts. 

She was surprised; she expected me to play quidditch professionally. I do love to play, but I can't save lives flying around on a broomstick. With an evil wizard named Voldemort on the rise, the ministry is going to need plenty of Aurors.

Even though I'm pureblood, I don't think that I'm better than others. There are numerous muggleborns who are extremely talented. Muggleborns and half bloods have just as of a much right as anybody to study magic. And what does blood have to do with anything anyway? It doesn't make you a better witch or wizard or a better person; the Slytherins are living proof of that.

When I told Lily my feelings on the matter she had the weirdest look on her face. It's difficult to explain, but the best I can do is to say that it was a combination of shock, curiosity, and happiness. She seemed…almost proud that I want to help people and fight evil.

The conversation turned to how well acquainted with the headmaster I am and I took this opportunity to tell her what Dumbledore said about her chances at Head Girl. She looked pleased, so that made me happy.

* * *

Someone just needs to "avada kedavra" me and put me out of my misery. 

Lily and I were heading back to Gryffindor Tower when for some inexplicable reason I brought up the subject of Hogsmeade. I asked her what she was doing, and since she was just going to do Christmas shopping for her friends, I suggested that she go with me.

She seemed to consider it for a moment, but then asked if I meant as friends or as more. Of course, I said as more, but if I couldn't go with her as more, then I wanted to go with her as a friend. (Because I am her friend!)

It's depressing. She told me that she doesn't see me as anymore than a friend and basically asked me to forget about any feelings I harbor for her.

As if that's going to happen anytime soon. One can't just forget a girl like Lily Evans. She might as well have asked me to forget how to breathe.

* * *

_I laugh at James' misfortune. A plant with teeth bit him in Herbology. It's his own fault though._

_He heard Stephan Perks asking Lily out and dropped the pot, which shattered, letting the plant escape. In the process of trying to capture the fanged plant, he got bitten and is now is the hospital wing. _

_His hand is now a rather nasty shade of green and he has to spend the night there to let it heal. Maybe I'll take him his journal to help cheer him up. _

* * *

It is not a journal! It's an idea notebook! Merlin, how many times do I have to tell you? 

I can't believe it! Stephan asked Lily out. She must have said yes. He's athletic _and_ good looking _and _nice, what girl wouldn't go out with him?

How could she do that to me? She's knows how much I like her… I thought that even though she only sees me as a friend, she might be more considerate of my feelings.

How dare Stephan ask her out right in front of me? Everyone in the whole bleeding school knows how I feel about Lily. It's not like I've made a big secret of my feelings for her.

If he weren't such a nice bloke, I'd hex him when my hand heals.

* * *

I've realized that I'm being stupid. I don't have any sort of claim on Lily; she's entitled to go out with whomever she chooses. 

And as for Stephan, he's a perfectly nice bloke, and I think they'll make a good couple. I hope they have fun at Hogsmeade.

I'm going to go drown myself in the shower.

* * *

She said no! She said no! Lily told Stephan no! 

Oh, that just made my life! I think I'll go down to the kitchens to celebrate with some food.

* * *

Oh- dear – Merlin. 

I have nothing to say, and yet I have everything to say.

I can't believe Sirius, that after all these years he would pull a stunt like this. He's my best friend, but right now I can't even look at him.

You see, Remus is a werewolf. He has been since he was a little kid. Sirius, Peter and I have been a friend to Remus in times of need. We even became illegal animagi so that we can be with Remus when he transforms. It's safe for us to be around him in animal state and when he's with us, he becomes saner, less aggressive.

Before we became animagi to help him, Remus would bite and scratch himself. He still has a scar on his upper right arm from an incident in second year that Sirius, Peter and I weren't there to prevent.

We've had some really fun times roaming the grounds at night. We've discovered hidden passages and all sorts of fun things like that. That's how we came to write our map.

And thanks to Sirius's poor choices Snape now knows about Remus's condition.

Sirius, prat that he is, thought that it would be great fun to tell Snape how to get past the Whomping Willow, which has a tunnel underneath which leads to the Shrieking Shack where Remus is taken to transform every month.

Snape may be the bane of my existence – always sneaking around and trying to get me and my friends chucked out of the school – but I don't wish him dead. After Hogwarts, I don't care if I never see him again as long as I live, but for all that, I don't want him to suffer the same fate as Remus.

If I hadn't stopped Snape from going all the way down that tunnel, he'd have been bitten or killed. As it is, he saw Remus as he was transforming and now knows his secret.

Dumbledore has sworn him to secrecy, but I'm sure that he'll drop hints right and left and find some way of letting people know without actually saying the words.

What possessed Sirius to do such a thing? Does he have any idea how this will affect Remus? If Remus had harmed Snape in any way, I know that he would never have been able to live with himself.

I'm already so mad at Sirius that I could hurl him off the North Tower right now. And not only does Snape know, but Lily heard me yelling at Sirius in the common room. It was more like Sirius trying to apologize and me refusing to listen, but that's not the point.

The point is that Lily is a smart girl. I might not have come right out and said what Sirius did or what Remus is in the common room, but she can put two and two together.

I think I scared her a bit, but I was desperate. I have not spent the last five years of my life keeping people from finding out Remus's secret just to have it all fall apart now.

Would Lily tell? I'm infatuated with the girl, but can I trust her with my friend's secret? I should be able to trust her, I just…I'm being paranoid I guess.

* * *

Lily knows. I intercepted her on her way to the library to look up information on werewolves. 

I would have stayed and tried to stop her from going to the library, but my fellow Quidditch players came and carried me off since it was time for practice and it wouldn't do to have the captain be late for a practice he scheduled. At least that's they told me.

Not that I went willingly, mind you. I put up a pretty good fight, but in the end they won since my wand was in my pocket and they had theirs in their hands.

Of course, now I know that I didn't need to bother to try and stop her at all. Remus's secret is safe with Lily. She was a tad miffed that I didn't trust her, but when I explained that it wasn't her personally knowing that worried me, she seemed to accept that.

Since she heard me yelling at Sirius the night of the accident, she knows the role Sirius played in the whole ordeal, and while she seemed genuinely distressed about it and the effect it's had on my friendship with him and Remus, Lily told me to forgive him.

Lily is truly one of the best people I have ever known. She told me that, "While Remus needs you to vent to and to be able to trust right now, Sirius needs you to help him through his guilt. He's not a bad person; just a little reckless. Everybody deserves a second chance."

That's deep, that is, and so utterly true. I was too wound up being angry and unwilling to forgive to even consider for a moment how Sirius must feel. I know that Sirius is a basically good person, he just made a mistake.

I can only imagine the guilt that he must feel. How could you live each day with the knowledge that you betrayed a six year confidence and friendship? That your actions could have led to someone's death? That your actions have allowed a horrible secret to be revealed to your enemy?

I need to talk to Dumbledore.

* * *

I went all the way to Dumbledore's office to have him tell me the same exact same thing that Lily said. I'm getting the feeling that they're right. 

I just don't want Remus to feel as though I'm condoning Sirius' actions, because I'm not. Nothing could be further from the truth. I simply want to be a friend to both of my friends, because that's what they both need more than anything right now.

* * *

Well, it's done. Sirius approached me outside the portrait hole after classes, looking for me to forgive him, which I did. I feel so much better, like a weight has been lifted off of my chest. 

Remus has yet to forgive Sirius, but I understand why he can't just yet. Sirius didn't bandy my secret to Snape and almost have me kill someone. I know if I were in Remus's shoes, forgiveness would be a long time in coming.

It will come though, in good time. If there's anyone who's ever believed in second chances, it's Remus Lupin.

* * *

_**I am so sorry for the wait, but as you can see, my computer and internet are fixed, so the next chapter will be here much quicker than this one!**_

_**As stated in my bio, I've started work on another Lily and James story called, "Just One of Those Things". I'll probably be posting it at the end of May or beginning of June. I was re-reading what I have done the other night and decided that I needed to foreshadow some events a little sooner. So watch for that story!**_

_**To all who reviewed, thank you! Sadly, I somehow, some way, I managed to delete all of the chapter 11 reviews from my e-mail, so I have no responses for you. :-( I promise next time, you'll get a response, but for now, thank you, and yes, James is sweet, and yes he is learning!**_


	13. The Wonders of Mistletoe

**Disclaimer: The ever-wonderful J.K Rowling owns all but the journal idea.**

…………………

**beta by: ilovethedotgame**

…………………

**Chapter Thirteen: The Wonders of Mistletoe**

…………………

James Potter

_Sirius Black_

**Remus Lupin**

**Peter Pettigrew**

…………………

I still don't know what to get for Lily. Maybe I'll browse around some of the shops in Hogsmeade and hopefully see something that will strike her fancy.

Lily may not be going to Hogsmeade with me, but thank Merlin she's not going with anyone else!

* * *

"God rest ye merry hippogriffs,

May nothing more you eat!

For Kettleburn's three fingers

Should be a tasty treat!"

Lyrics by: Sirius Black and James Potter

_"Jingle Bells, Remus smells,_

_Peter snores like Hell"_

_(how anyone gets any sleep around here is still a mystery to me)_

_-Sirius Black_

_"I saw Lily kissing Stephan Perks,_

_Underneath the mistletoe last night"_

WHAT! WHEN WAS THIS! WHERE WAS I? THAT RANDY PRAT! HOW DARE HE TOUCH LILY! I'LL HEX HIM INTO NEXT WEEK!

_Whoa, Prongs! I was kidding; it was a joke. She didn't kiss him, he didn't kiss her; I made it up._

Padfoot, don't even joke about something that serious! I nearly went into cardiac arrest!

_Sorry, I underestimated your Lily-protectiveness. Or obsesiveness…one of the two. Or both._

* * *

It feels so good to have all of my friends speaking to one another again. Nothing of that magnitude has ever kept us apart for so long; it was so different from what I was used to. 

The bond between Sirius and I is closer than that of me and the other two guys, but it doesn't mean that I don't consider them just as good of friends. Don't get me wrong, Sirius is great company, but Remus is our voice of reason and both he and Peter contribute to our lively banter and discussions during the course of the day.

I really missed all four of us being able to talk and joke so freely. I'd never given it a second thought, but then when my friends weren't all there I noticed it like a bludger to the head. For all that it has been a very trying time in my life, I'm glad that through it all, I was able to see my friends in a new light and become more appreciative of them and how close we are. Because not all people have what we do and we're very lucky to have each other.

* * *

**That was quite sentimental, James. Not that I'm trying to take the mickey out of you; I'm clumsily trying to compliment you. **

**And thanks, your friendship means a lot to me too. It means the world. I don't know what I would have done without you guys there each month to help me through…all I can say is thanks. **

* * *

Still haven't found anything for Lily's present. Sure, I saw things that Lily might like, but nothing seemed personal enough. We are only friends, but I want to give her something from the heart, not just something I saw on a shelf and thought, "Lily might like that". I want to see it and think, "That's what I'm getting Lily." 

Even though I didn't find Lily a present, I managed to get the rest of my Christmas shopping done. I did get to spend some time with Lily and her friends at the Three Broomsticks. We had a nice conversation and overall I had good time.

* * *

**Does Lily know when James' birthday is? **

_I don't think so…weren't you going to tell her so that she could get him a present?_

**No, I thought you were!**

Guys, Lily doesn't have to get me anything. I'm content to just have her as a friend.

_So you say now, but don't blame me when she doesn't have anything for you tomorrow._

* * *

15 December 1977 

Today I am seventeen years old.

Today I am legally an adult by wizarding standards.

That is one scary thought.

* * *

As was expected, Lily had no idea that today was my birthday. She told me that she would liked to have known so that she could have gotten me a gift, but I didn't want to tell her myself. 

Not that it's a big secret or something, but how good does it sound to go up and say to someone, "By the way, my birthday is coming up." ? That just makes it seem as though you're hinting that you want a gift from them.

I don't care about presents. All that I really need or want on my birthday is to have my friends around me. Her presence was all that was required.

* * *

A long time ago, I agreed to help Lily make four way mirrors for her friends for Christmas. Tonight was the date we set up to meet in the library to work on them. 

As we were leaving, I noticed that I wasn't able to move away from Lily. I knew instantly what was wrong: Mistletoe!

Now, I know you're wondering, what's the problem? I'm stuck under the mistletoe with the girl of my dreams. There's no problem, right? Wrong.

Lily doesn't want to be kissed. So, like the gentleman I am, I pulled out my wand and tried to get rid of it. But I couldn't. The spell rebounded off the plant and came at me instead. It's lucky that I have good reflexes or I'd have had to re-grow some of my hair.

So I tried kissing her on the cheek (the left one), but that didn't work either. At this point, I was deliriously happy on the inside since the only way to get rid of the plant was to kiss Lily.

On the other hand, I knew that Lily didn't want to be kissed by me. (Which is a pity) What was a bloke to do?

Figuring the only way to go about kissing her without earning a slap and a cold shoulder, I tried to explain the situation as nicely as I could. I did admit that I wanted to kiss her, but then, she already knew that.

I took her jaw in my hand and pulled her close, and then…we kissed. Sweet Merlin, she has soft lips. But then I suppose all girls do; they're forever applying lip gloss and chap stick and whatnot. Whatever kind of lip gloss Lily has, I like it. It was kind of a mix of strawberry and vanilla….very nice.

But the taste of her lip gloss wasn't the best part, oh no, it gets better. Much better. Lily kissed me back.

Not the way I would have liked, naturally, and it was very light and subtle, but I could tell. And I loved every second of it. All three of them. Not that I counted.

After the kiss we ended up talking about the last time we kissed. Not the best move on my part, but didn't go as badly as it could have.

Girls have this thing about their first kiss, I don't what it is, but they seem to think it's this big, special, defining moment in their lives. Apparently what Lily envisioned was a knight in shinning armor with a white stallion. Bloody hell! A broomstick I could do, but a whole freaking horse? And who owns armor? I mean, we have a suit of armor in the entryway at home, but it's not the kind you wear, it's just for display.

Just when I think I just might be beginning to understand this girl, she throws this at me. I should have realized by now that this path to Lily's heart that I'm trying to travel is undoubtedly going to be littered with potholes and nasty twists and turns.

Anyway, in an effort to make her feel better about the whole loss of her first kiss thing, I confided to her that she was my first kiss too.

Yes, go ahead and laugh, but maybe I didn't want to kiss just any girl. Seriously, when I was thirteen, I was just taking an interest in girls. I've only had one actual girlfriend and she had the thing about her first kiss too and wouldn't let me kiss her. (I did try) She said she wanted her first kiss to come from her true love and that I wasn't him and she wasn't going to waste her first kiss on me. We broke up shortly after that.

Then in fourth year, I took an interest in Lily Evans. Not a great interest, but enough that I didn't seriously date anyone. I think I took a couple girls to Hogsmeade over the course of the year, but they didn't believing in kissing on a first date and I never took them on a second.

And so fifth year rolled around and Lily became a permanent fixture in my life. I decided early on that she was going to be my first kiss. And so she was. Not by her choice granted, but I never even thought that it would bother her. Let's say I've learned a thing or two since then.

After telling her this, she asked, "Seriously?" and as if on cue, who should enter the scene, but Sirius? And as is characteristic of him, he goes into the whole, "Sirius" "serious" joke. He thinks it never gets old, but I beg to differ.

Come to find out that the reason that I couldn't vanish the mistletoe is because he charmed it. I'm caught somewhere between thanking him and hitting him upside the head. Thanking him for obvious reasons, but hitting him because he thought that by kissing Lily, she'd instantly fall in love with me.

I don't think that Sirius will ever get married if he thinks that love or even like works that way. Sure, it would be nice in my case, but alas, it doesn't, and Lily is free to like or love whomever she pleases. I wouldn't want to force her to like me. It wouldn't mean anything to her then, and I couldn't stand that since it means everything to me.

* * *

**Honestly, James! Lily didn't literally mean that she wanted armor and a white stallion! **

**What she metaphorically meant is that she wanted it to be someone special, someone she cared for. And while she cares for you as a friend, that's the extent of her feelings. **

**Merlin! I thought we were getting somewhere and then you go and say stuff like that. **

* * *

Okay, so my last entry wasn't the most intelligent thing I've ever come up with, but in my defense it was one o'clock in the morning and I was highly stressed out.

* * *

Ah, mistletoe. Whoever decided the rules of mistletoe is a saint. Truly, they are. I feel like writing a letter to that person, thanking them for starting such a wonderful tradition. 

This past week I have kissed Lily on the cheek no less than seven times. Sadly, this means no nice tasting lip gloss, but I've found that her skin is very soft too. There's this one freckle I particularly like to kiss. Just this one freckle in the middle of her cheek, all there by itself…

Oh, Merlin, that sounded all sentimental and, heaven forbid…_girly_.

* * *

Lily saw me with my notebook in the common room. She asked what it was so I told her it was a list of quidditch plays and strategies. 

I didn't like lying to her, but what was I supposed to do?

* * *

I know what I'm getting Lily for Christmas. Flower seeds. Seeds for lilies. 

I'm taking a bit of a leap of faith here - I don't even know if Lily gardens, but every time she looks at them, or waters and weeds them, she'll remember that I gave them to her.

* * *

I've decided to stay at Hogwarts for Christmas. After I spent my entire breakfast convincing Lily that she needed to stay, I'm not going home. 

Christmas here is so much fun. I miss my parents, but I'll have many more Christmases to spend with them and I've only got two more years here. A year and half really. I want to spend all the time I can at Hogwarts.

* * *

I've been thinking. Should I show Lily my notebook? I mean, she knows about all of the events that I've written about, since she's the reason for this whole thing, so it wouldn't be anything she doesn't all ready know….I feel somehow compelled to show her this notebook. Don't ask me why, because I'm sure I couldn't tell you, but I just do. 

**Are you mad? After the stuff you wrote in here in the beginning?**

"_She has red hair; my favorite color is red. She has green eyes; I like green eyes. And red and green are Christmas colors, and I like Christmas."_

_That's not exactly the most intelligent thing you'd ever said, mate. _

I was fifteen and an idiot. What can I say?

_So now you're seventeen and an idiot. Your point is…?_

**I think the idea has merit.**

_What?_

Really?

**Well, sure she'll see the stupid Christmas quote and all the others, but you've grown up a lot, James. Lily will see beyond the idiotic remarks you tend to make and realize just how much you've changed.**

* * *

She got me a book for Christmas! And not just any book, she got me _He Flew like a Madman: A Biography of the 'Dangerous' Dai Llewellyn! _I saw that book at the book shop a while ago and thought it might be interesting and I've been meaning to buy it ever since. 

But more than the fact that I wanted the book is the fact that Lily picked it out for me. She knows what type of stuff I like and she wanted to get me something I would like. She looked so nervous watching me open it, I wanted to laugh. Not at her, but at the idea that would hate something that Lily picked out for me. She could have given me a blank piece of parchment and I'd have been thrilled.

Lily seemed to be happy with the seeds I gave her. She went through the whole box and read all the labels and the backs of the packages.

The rest of today was spent in the common room talking, eating and other various activities. I managed to get my eyebrows singed during a tense game of exploding snap, which everyone seemed to think was rather funny.

* * *

Today we went ice-skating on Hogwarts' lake. I had quite a good time, and if Lily's smile means anything, so did she. 

It was quite funny what a klutz Emmeline is. On solid ground she's fine, but once you get her on the ice, it's quite a scary story. She and Sirius, who's also quite graceful on ice skates, ended up leaning on each other much of the time in an attempt to keep on their feet.

I skated mostly with Lily. We talked about everything from the Potions essay due after holiday to Gryffindors chances of winning the House Cup. (Which, consequently, are very good.)

During our second lap, Lily tripped (on what, I'm not quite sure…) and fell into a snow bank. Being the chivalrous gentleman that I am, I helped her to get back on her feet. Being the cheeky prat that I am, after helping her out of the snow, I kept hold of her hands and began to spin in a wide circle.

Needles to say, we both ended up back in the snow bank. A little chilly when the snow goes down the back of your cloak and melts in the center of your back, but oh so worth it when you land with Lily Evans' face a breath away from yours.

After once again helping her up, I went out on a limb and asked if I could hold her hand while we skated.

Now, I know we've been friends for awhile now, but sometimes I still feel as though I'm treading on thin ice with her. No pun intended.

I mean, I fancy her to kingdom come and back and she knows it. It sometimes makes for a lightly awkward situation, but I do my best to avoid those. I know she doesn't feel the same way, but when we're laughing and talking together so freely, it's so easy to forget.

Her hand was so small in mine, but it fit just right. I didn't want to let her go.

* * *

Tonight is New Years Eve and since this day, or tomorrow morning as it were, is symbolic of new beginnings, I've decided to show Lily my notebook tonight. 

I'm a little worried about her reaction, I mean, here I am with barely a hope of this wonderful girl ever liking me and I'm going to thrust out my sleeve with my heart so clearly on it for her to see and let her do what she will with it.

* * *

"I'm not mad. How can I be mad at you when all you've done is be nice to me?" 

That's what she said! Nice to her? This year maybe, but last year I was downright sneaky and rude. And at the time I thought I was being clever. Ha!

"You've been nice lately, and I think that's what counts."

Lily Evans is one of the best people I know. (My mum being the other one) She's not cross with me at all! If anything, she seemed amused - almost like she knew something I didn't that made the whole situation even funnier.

It wasn't a "James keeps a journal, let's all point and laugh at him! Ha Ha Ha!" kind of amused though. (Which, by the way, it isn't a journal – it's an idea notebook.)

She seemed a little shocked that I bothered to keep track of every encounter I have with her. Well, not every. I don't count the number of times I pass her in the hall or anything like that. (Just for the record, it was ten times today.)

Ah, that girl does my heart good. Even if she's hurting my heart at the same time, she mends it more than she hurts it. And I can live with that.

* * *

**Review Reponses: **

**Linn-LovesPiperLeo:** Thank you very much for the compliment!

**Queen Of Day Dreams:** Hope this wait was a bit shorter and that you enjoyed this chapter!

**Auramistealia:** Thanks! Glad to hear that something good happened, anyway!

**Greeneyemagiccatsfairys:** Thanks, and of course I'll keep writing this! I'm not about to stop now!

**J.E.A.R.KPotter:** :-) Thanks!

**Le Bourdon Somnambulique:** Thank you ever so much for the compliment, and again, sorry, but I hope you'll still read and enjoy my story!

**Abby:** Of course James was sweet! James is always sweet…well, most of the time anyway!

**emps:** I agree 100. I am in love with James. It's so great to be able to write his character and make him be so sweet and nice to Lily.

**special-apricot:** I know, I know! Sorry about the wait last time. At least I had a good reason. But I hope that this chapter was much quicker and that you enjoyed it.

**Anne Christy AKA Some12:** Why, thanks! That was quite nice of you to say so:-) Good to hear you didn't see any mistakes! I always find one or two after I post and it drives me crazy!

**E.G. Potter:** Thanks!


	14. A Valentine Note

**Disclaimer:** The ever-wonderful J.K Rowling owns all but the journal idea.

…………………

**beta by:** ilovethedotgame

…………………

**Chapter Fourteen: A Valentine Note**

…………………

James Potter

_Sirius Black_

**Remus Lupin**

**Peter Pettigrew**

* * *

I wish Christmas holiday could go on a little longer. It's been quite nice having so few people here – I've gotten to spend a lot of time with Lily. It's been quite beneficial in getting to know her better.

I almost wish that it could be like this all year round, but then again, if it were Christmas time all year round, it would lose the elements that make it so special.

* * *

_Guess what holiday is coming up, Prongs?_

How did you get in here? I changed the password!

_Your passwords aren't any good. They're too obvious. I mean, "Transfiguration" is not exactly a hard password to break, James. Try and be a little more creative for my sake. _

No! I am not going to help you vandalize my property.

_Vandalism is a harsh word. I'm just helping you to analyze your thoughts._

Don't lie – that's what Remus is here for.

* * *

Valentine's Day is in about a month and I don't know what to do. I want to give Lily something, but what? What do you give a girl who's your friend, and you're head over heals for, for Valentine's Day?

* * *

**You don't. Why don't you lay off for once, Prongs? Give the girl some space.**

You don't know what you're asking. Why don't you just tell me to go bake cookies for Snape? You'd probably get a better result.

* * *

After much deliberation and soul searching, I've decided to give Lily the same exact thing I gave her last year: flowers and a note. 

See, last year, I wrote her poem and at the bottom of the card, I asked her out, but not this year. This year, it will just be a nice note and some flowers. No desperate attempts for a date or anything of that nature - just a little something to let her know that I still care.

* * *

Note for Lily: Attempt 1: I hope you enjoy these flowers. Happy Valentine's Day. 

_Do you remember how she threw those flowers you gave her last year out the window?_

You just had to bring that up, didn't you?

_I just wanted to refresh your memory, that's all. _

I'm sure. Why don't you do something constructive and get me something from the kitchens?

_Or you could send Peter and I could stay here and help you. _

Fat chance!

Attempt 2: These flowers remind me of you; I hope you enjoy them this year.

Attempt 3: I hope you'll enjoy these flowers more this year.

Attempt 4: To Lily From James.

_Oh, that was creative. _

Bugger off.

Attempt 5: To my flower.

No, can't use that one, I value my life.

_To my true love Lily, from James._

I cannot use that!

_Why?_

Well for starters, the whole true love bit might scare her a bit! And….never mind.

_What?_

Nothing.

_If it was really nothing, you wouldn't have said something!_

Oh fine! It's just…I mean, I'm completely infatuated and head over heals for Lily but…I'm not sure I'm in love with her.

_Then you're the only one. _

What is that supposed to mean?

_Nothing. _

I rather hate you sometimes.

* * *

Attempt 6: For my friend Lily. 

Attempt 7: To Lily, from James. I will always be here for you, no matter what.

Attempt 8: To a wonderful friend.

* * *

Attempt 9: To a beautiful flower and friend. 

Attempt 10: These flowers are like you: beautiful.

Attempt 11: Like these flowers, you are truly beautiful, inside and out.

* * *

Today in History of Magic what I should write in the note to Lily came to me. I was working off of the last ideas I had written and suddenly it hit me. 

Attempt 12: "In a sea of ordinary flowers, you are the brightest, and most beautiful of them all."

* * *

12:24 pm 

Tomorrow is the Big Day.

Right now, I'm in the common room waiting for Hestia to come down and get the flowers (lilies-of-the-valley) so she can place them on Lily's nightstand. I wish boys were able to get into the girls' dormitories. Not for the reasons you may be thinking, but so I could put the flowers there myself and maybe do a few other spells to make the day special for Lily.

Someone's coming –

* * *

Flowers safely delivered. Good, I'm going to bed.

* * *

She liked the flowers! She kept them! Life is so good. Lily even accompanied me to breakfast, Of course, I had to say, "just as friends" but it's better than nothing, right? 

We had a nice conversation on the way to the Great Hall. She figured out that I've been having Hestia place things flowers and birthday cards on her nightstand. Hmm…I may have to start asking Alice or Emmeline to do stuff like that now since Hestia will be watched like a hawk.

But all in all, today was a success.

* * *

Pardon me, I'm going to go drown myself in the shower.

* * *

**Bloody idiot. What did he think was going to happen?**

**I can't believe he asked her out in the corridor like that….what did he say again?**

_Something about being a Gryffindor and not doing things halfway, then he asked her out. This was followed by "We've been through so much this year and it's only convinced me further that there is no other girl for me."_

**Oh, in the name of all things good and holy. What was he thinking?**

**I'm not sure he was.**

_I agree with Wormtail. _

**He's had brain lapses before, but this…but you know, she didn't say no. She just ran away. **

**So technically he wasn't turned down?**

_I'd still call it being turned down, but not for the same reasons as he used to be. _

**Are you thinking what I'm thinking?**

_I think I am. _

**Would you care to tell me what you think you're thinking?**

**Not here. Let's go to the Room of Requirement. That way it'll be sound proof and we can lock the door.**

**What was if James really does drown himself? **

_He'll be fine. Remember back when Lily still disliked him he said he was going to drown himself in the shower at least once a week._

* * *

I'm an idiot. A complete and utter disgrace to all young wizards everywhere. If Lily will still speak to me after this day, she should be awarded sainthood. 

I asked her out in front of an entire hallway full of people. As muggles say, I might as well have shot myself in the foot.

Why I did it, I have no idea. It was just one of those idiotic impulses I'm famous for. I mean, I practically said I that I loved her. And maybe I do, but why did I have to tell her? Lily is my friend and she's made it perfectly clear that friendship is all she wants from me.

* * *

( End of Chapter )

**Now I realize that this was a rather depressing end to the chapter, but I promise that things get better at the beginning of the next one. I'm just trying to put emphasis James desperation and lack of hope at the moment. **

**I hope everyone understood what Sirius and Remus were talking about when Sirius said "**_I'd still call it being turned down, but not for the same reasons as he used to be." _!

**Review Responses**

**hazeled eye marauder:** Yes, Lily now knows about his "idea notebook"!

**Abby:** Thanks! Glad you like it!

**justdreem:** I would laugh at the funny comments in James's "idea notebook" too if I were Lily! There will be eighteen chapters.

**Auramistealia:** Thanks so much!

**The Great Charlotte:** Hope I updated a bit sooner this time!

**justina:** Well, he's not quite the perfect gentleman, but he's pretty darn close! He's getting there, anyway!

**J.E.A.R.K.Potter:** Yes, only four more chapters left:-(

**swimmerchic:** Thanks for reminding me of how Sirius keeps cracking James's passwords – I'd forgotten about those! I added one just for you!

**Lady Radcliffe:** Glad you liked the knight in shining armor and white stallion line! So did I!

**DOJ:** I love Christmas time too! I love to go ice skating… glad to know you liked th last chapter! When are you going to post your new Lily/James story?

**Queen Of Day Dreams:** It was seagulls being strangled, but close enough:-) I love it when I get reviews like yours that quote the crazy things that James says!

**AnneChristy:** Sorry if I took a while to update last time, I've been really busy with trying to wrote two different stories and I have a reading list for my AP English class next year…I can't promise that the next chapter will be up overly soon, but I will try!

**Lady Sonora the Black-Rose:** Thank you!

**woodchip:** Well, I had Sirius break a password in this chapter and I promise there will be more in future chapters!

**NinitademiBrooke:** Thank you so much for the absolutely wonderful review! Seriosuly, your review made me feel so good about my story!

**Laughing Dragoness:** That's fine, I forget to review people's stories all the time…Thanks for the nice review!


	15. Thinking About Her

**Disclaimer:** The ever-wonderful J.K Rowling owns all but the journal idea.

…………………

**beta by:** ilovethedotgame

…………………

**Chapter Fifteen: Thinking About Her**

…………………

James Potter

_Sirius Black_

**Remus Lupin**

**Peter Pettigrew**

* * *

****

After thinking it over, I feel that I should apologize to Lily for putting her through that spectacle in the hallway. Nevertheless, everything I said holds true, and I don't plan to apologize for my feelings.

* * *

I have apologized and all is right with the world.

Well, except for the fact that Lily said she wouldn't go out with me…and the rise of Voldemort…and starving children in Africa…but you get the picture. Everything is as good as it's going to get (at this point anyway) on the Lily front.

I still can't believe I asked her out and in the middle of the hallway no less…What was I thinking? Was I thinking?

I could have seriously damaged our friendship - I could have ruined our friendship! And I have not gone through "Project Fix My Personality" only to mess things up now.

Lily is truly one of the nicest people that I have ever met. Seriously, if it had been anyone else but Lily, they never would have given me a chance, never would have befriended me. But she did. And I can never thank her enough for getting to know the real me. Not the trouble making prat –although that is a big part of who I am – but the more mature side of me, the side who has a mind and writes his feelings in this notebook.

* * *

**What is a Lily Front?**

You know in a war, there's the home front? Well, this is the Lily front in the war for her heart.

**I think you're loosing the war.**

Gee, thanks, Pete.

* * *

Something really odd happened today in Transfiguration. I was sitting in my seat, minding my own business and taking notes like I'm supposed to, when Professor McGonagall asked Lily a question. And Lily wasn't listening! McGonagall asked her to repeat it, but she couldn't.

And it gets weirder. The Professor then told Lily to pay attention and –get ready for this – to stop staring at me.

Staring at me?

Me?

Why?

I wonder if she's still angry…She said she wasn't but you how people sometimes say they're okay with something but really they're royally ticked off about it? Maybe Lily pulled one of those…

Lily wouldn't do that. She couldn't. She's too honest and nice. If she were angry with me, she would tell me.

But then why was she staring at me?

I must have had something on my back. Maybe Sirius put spello-tape on the back of my robes again…that must be it.

* * *

_I did no such thing! She was probably imagining giving you a haircut or something. Merlin knows you need one._

* * *

I had a terrible dream last night. I was in Transfiguration, just like the other day when Lily was watching me. The last time, in real life, I turned around and gave her a small smile, but this time, I found myself frowning at her – glaring at her.

She looked hurt, but tried to hide it. I couldn't believe how I was treating her as though she were nothing. But I couldn't help it. I had no control over my actions.

The bell rang signaling the end of class and I got up and walked out of the classroom. As I made my way down the hallway, Lily came up beside me and started walking with me.

Internally, I felt glad that she was there by my side, but felt myself frowning at her and asking her why she was walking with me. She gave me another one of those hurt looks and replied in a small voice, "Because…I'm your friend."

And I laughed at her.

I laughed at her in a cold, malicious way, in the way one person sets out to hurt another. And I succeeded.

"What makes you think you and I are friends?" I snarled at her and tears filled her emerald eyes. "You're nothing to me, Evans. Nothing!"

And then I walked away with that nasty sardonic grin on my face, but feeling dead inside from the hurt I had just caused her.

I woke up with something wet on my face. I quickly wiped it off. No one else was up yet, but I didn't bother to wake them. I got dressed as quickly as humanly possible and ran down to the common room.

It was still empty – I guess I was the first one up. I didn't care that the sun was just starting to come up, all I cared about at that moment was seeing Lily and assuring both myself and her of our friendship.

I don't know how long I stood at the bottom of the girls' staircase – I don't really care – but suddenly there was the slamming of a door and the thunder of feet as someone quickly made their way down the stairs.

It was Lily. She was quite disheveled looking, as though she had dressed quickly and without thought. Her hair was a bit frizzy as though she had merely run her brush through it once or twice.

She looked beautiful.

The moment I spotted her, I lifted her off the floor in a gigantic hug, pulling her to me and holding on as tightly as I possibly could.

It turned out I was hurting her, so I set her down and loosened my grip, but I didn't stop hugging her. I couldn't let go. I just wanted her as near to me as she could physically be. I buried my face in her hair, breathing in the sweet scent of her shampoo and reassuring myself that she was there and we were friends.

She wanted to know what the hug was for, so I told her about my dream. A weird look passed over her face and I wondered what it could mean until she told me that she had had the exact same dream.

It took me a moment to figure out, but then everything became clear. It to be the dream spell – the one I created back in the days when I stalked and harassed Lily to no end. And the only other person who knows the dream spell is Sirius.

Then Lily told me that she was sorry. Sorry because the way I had treated her in the dream was the way she used to treat me before I grew up and we became friends.

She asked me to forgive her, so I did, but the truth is I forgave her a long time ago -before today, before we were friends. Each and every time she rejected me and was harsh towards me, I forgave her.

I hold no resentment about how she used to act towards me. I deserved no more, really. Still, it felt good to be able to offer forgiveness when she wanted it so badly.

Which reminds me – thanks Sirius.

* * *

_Any time, Prongs. Any time. _

_You guys were both being so tense – I just thought I'd remind you two what your friendship means to each other. I dare say it worked. _

* * *

Lily's going home for Easter break. Blast. I had hoped she would stay here so I could spend more time with her, just like over Christmas holiday.

I even had the beginnings of an egg hunt all planned out for her. Oh well, there's always next year, I suppose.

* * *

**Why don't you send her Easter eggs?**

I did that last year. And need I remind you how much trouble I got in because Sirius put those notes in with "Lily and James Potter" all over them? Or that letter I sent where I had Arrow fly in the door and drop it on the table? Do you not remember my parent's reaction? I believe the words were "James Harold Potter! What are you doing to that poor girl?"

**I didn't mean send her more harassment letters, I just meant some nice eggs with chocolate in them or a note that says "miss you" or something. **

But I've done the egg thing.

**Yes, but last year you were being obnoxious with the eggs, this year you won't be. **

So…non- obnoxious eggs and notes are symbolic of how I've changed, is that the point you're trying to make here?

**Yes!**

Why can't you just say so in the first place instead of dancing around the answer?

**It's more fun to watch you squirm.**

Thanks.

**I'm just trying to be helpful. **

You could be helpful and get me something from the kitchens.

* * *

Stupid Charms essay. Professor Flitwick is a nice man, but honestly, couldn't we have one holiday without homework in that class? Just one? Would that be too much to ask?

I'm much better at Transfiguration than I am at Charms. Not to say I'm bad at Charms, I'm not. I just have to actually do a bit of work when it comes to that subject.

I wonder what Lily's doing right now…

* * *

I couldn't stop thinking about Lily today. I tried all sorts of things to try and get my mind off of her, but none of them worked.

I played quidditch. My quidditch robes are red and her hair is red.

I finished my Charms essay. Charms is Lily's best and favorite subject.

I snuck down to the kitchens. I ate a chocolate éclair; they're Lily's favorite.

I tormented the caretaker's cat, Mrs. Norris. Lily likes animals.

I read a book about quidditch. Lily likes to read.

I'm going crazy!

* * *

_You read a book on quidditch and managed to relate it to Lily? Merlin, you're in deep. _

**I agree. **

**More things are adding up.**

_You mean what I saw that one day in class?_

**Yes.**

**What did you see?**

_Can't say here. Let's go to the same spot as last time._

**Why are we writing about talking about James in his journal?**

**So maybe he'll figure it out on his own.**

_We hope anyway. The poor fool's so blind to everything about that girl._

* * *

I do not understand my friends.

And by the way – stop breaking into my notebook!

* * *

Today is Easter and I sent Lily the eggs just like Remus suggested. I filled them with chocolate and every flavor beans and notes that said things like "thanks for being a friend" "miss you" and unromantic, purely platonic things like that.

_Except you didn't mean them platonically. _

She doesn't know that.

_Oh, I think she does. _

* * *

Dear Lily,

I miss you.

And so does Sirius. And Remus. And Peter. I'm sure your other friends miss you, but seeing as they also went home for break, I can't ask them. But I miss you most of all. The guys are great friends, but you're something special.

Our next quidditch match is on the Saturday after you get back. Please come and see us play. You're good luck. Speaking of which, I still have your shoe.

Well, must go. The guys want to pull some sort of prank. Nothing involving Slytherins or innocent bystanders, I promise. It's…just a little something in the common room.

Yours always,

James Potter

* * *

Dear James,

I miss all of you guys, too. Tell everyone I say "hello" and that I'll see them soon.

Life is kind of boring without you and Sirius blowing something up or pulling some sort of prank. Speaking of pranks, just what is this prank you're going to pull? No one had better be hurt in the process, including yourself and Sirius.

Of course I'll come to your game. You thought I would pass up an opportunity to watch you play? Don't let that statement go to your head, now.

Petunia is a nightmare. She avoids me like the plague and only stays in the same room with me if mum or dad forces her to. She has a new boyfriend named Vernon. What kind of a name is that? It sounds old and stuffy and boring. Don't you think so?

I have to go now; I have to work in my garden. I'm planting some of the lilies you gave me.

Always,

Lily Evans

* * *

Why does she sign her letters "Always, Lily Evans?" She's not always going to be Lily Evans unless she keeps her maiden name when she marries. Maybe I'll ask her someday.

I hate Petunia. I've only met her once, but I hate her. I hate how she makes Lily feel, so unworthy and unimportant.

Lily is so sweet – how any one could find it in their heart to treat her badly is beyond me. I think she's almost too understanding, too forgiving. Sure she complains a bit to me about it, but Lily's friends say that when she's around Petunia, she just accepts the cold shoulder and spiteful glances Petunia gives her.

And she shouldn't have to. I want to always be the one to protect her from people like Petunia who would crush her spirit.

I think I might…no. I'm seventeen; I don't know anything about it.

Only…sometimes I feel I know so much about it…

* * *

Lily returns tomorrow!_

* * *

_

_Good, I'm tired of you moping about feeling sorry for yourself. And by the way – 'Merlin and Agrippa' is not a good password. It's too common of a phrase, mate. Anyone could say it and then your little journal just magically pops open, and that's just an invitation to write in it._

* * *

It's a notebook! How many times to do I have to say it!

This – is – not – a – journal!

* * *

_Whatever you say, James. _

_p.s. 'Keep out Sirius' isn't a very good password either._

* * *

Lily's back!

I have to admit that I got a bit carried away with my greeting. I rather flung myself at her and knocked her down. At least we landed on the grass when we fell.

I also banged my head against hers which hurt quite a bit. That girl has a hard head. But that's okay, because I gave her a kiss on the forehead to make up for it and she didn't seem to mind too terribly much.

I'm so glad she's back; I missed her. And you know what?

She missed me too!

* * *

**Review Responses**

**justdreem:** Sorry if the last chapter was a bit short, but since this is a counterpart, I've got to follow pretty closely to what happens in Lily's journal. I am trying to make these chapters a little longer than the counterpart ones.

**Bleh:** Oh, thank you so much! That was really so nice oh you to say that:-D

**Queen Of Day Dreams:** I am having a good summer vacation, thanks! I hope you are too! I agree 100 about the Peter thing. He would have had to be a definite part of the group to be trusted by the others (even if not so much by Sirius).

**J.E.A.R.K.Potter:** Yes, the story is drawing to a close. :-(

**Tigoamy:** I hope this was soon enough!

**NinitademiBrooke:** Thank you! I will try to update quickly! I'm going to try really hard to get this story finished before school starts so I'm not working on two different stories during the school year.

**PranksterPrefect:** Your review was not lame! I enjoyed it very much!

**Lady Sonora the Black-Rose:** Thanks!

**Ahtnamas:** I've never had someone say "continue when you have time". I really appreciate that! Thank you!

**Nosilla:** Of course it's not a journal. (yeah, right!) Not to be nosy, but is Nosilla your name spelled backwards? Because if it is, that's definitely my name!

**AnneChristy:** Yeah, it would be kind of nice not to have just about every entry planned out. That's part of why I made Sirius, Remus, and Peter write in this "idea notebook" – so I could have something on this story that wasn't in the other. Otherwise they'd be way too similar.

**Ashley:** They're in their 6th year. Thanks, I will!

**illegiblewriter:** Oh, I agree with you about liking James's journal (I mean idea notebook) better. Even though "In This Journal" was my first story, this one is my favorite. I think his point of view is more fun to write because he can be so sweet sometimes, but then so dense at others. Never feel bad for constructive criticism! It's a good thing and I am always completely open to it. In all honesty, I'd never even considered telling more about James' school/home life. I added the little telling about Transfiguration part in here for you, and I will try to add more little stuff like that here and there, but for the most part, I'm just going to stick to "James likes Lily" because really, this story isn't about Voldemort on the rise or James' life at school. Besides, telling more about his life other than Lily would probably seem to "journal-ish" to James! Thank you so much for the very helpful review!

**Aleana:** You're addicted to my story? Thanks! And yes, you do have to love Sirius!

**InuBecka:** "Poor James" will figure things out and get it right in the end!

**Laughing Dragoness:** Thank you so much!


	16. A Few Clues

**Disclaimer:** **The ever-wonderful J.K Rowling owns all but the journal idea.**

…………………

**beta by: ilovethedotgame**

…………………

**Chapter Sixteen: A Few Clues**

…………………

James Potter

_Sirius Black_

**Remus Lupin**

**Peter Pettigrew**

…………………

* * *

Lily's birthday is in a couple of days. And guess what? I have her gift already!

Sirius and I snuck out to Hogsmeade the other night to grab a butterbeer and some stuff from Zonko's. While we were there, we passed by a shop and there, in the window, was this necklace: a glass lily on a silver chain.

The minute I saw it, I knew that it was meant for Lily. I can just picture her wearing it in a dark green dress with her hair falling over her shoulders…

It was a little expensive, but I don't care. Money isn't really an issue in my family, but even if it were, I still would have bought it for her.

* * *

Do you think Lily would appreciate it if I had the entire house sing Happy Birthday to her tomorrow morning when she comes downstairs?

**I thought she didn't like having the spotlight on her?**

**She doesn't, but I think you may be able to get away with it. **

_As long as it's only the birthday song, and you don't do something stupid like ask her out._

I am never making that mistake again.

**Never?**

**Ever?**

Not unless I'm sure that she returns my feelings. Until then, I'm not going to jeopardize my friendship with her. Okay, now, I need to go and find Alice or somebody to help me alert all of the girls' dorms of the plan. You guys go to all the boys' dorms and tell them that at 8:15 tomorrow morning in the common room they should be ready to sing "Happy Birthday to Lily".

_What if they don't listen?_

They'll face my wrath.

* * *

Alice is a genius. She gave Lily the tiniest bit of sleep potion so that she overslept a bit and was the last one in the common room.

Lily knew immediately that I was the one who planned it. As soon as everyone started to sing her eyes began looking for me in the crowd.

She seemed a little embarrassed, but not in a "Potter, I hate you!" kind of way, just a "James, I can't believe you planned this!"

After the song was over, I approached Lily and handed her her gift. I admit that I was a tad nervous about giving her jewelry, but any fears I harbored about her not liking her present disappeared the moment she opened the box and saw the necklace. Her entire face lit up when she saw it, and she kept telling me how much she loved it.

* * *

_'Gryffindor is going to beat Slytherin'. _

_What a password. Anyone with half a brain could figure that one out. Like I said before, you need to stop choosing obvious phrases that anyone could say. You need to think of something creative that no one would think of. Like…Martha makes muffins in the morning, or something equally ridiculous. _

_You know, with these easy passwords, one might think that you didn't actually mind me and the others writing in your little journal – that you actually want us to…_

* * *

Ha! That will be the day, when I value _your_ input about romance.

Gryffindor will beat Slytherin. We've been training harder and longer than ever before – I tell you, we're in top form.

Since I had nothing to do but sit around and do homework over Easter holiday, I came up with a new training program for the team. It's so secret that I can't even write it in here. That's so if by some freak incident, someone other than my friends ended up with this notebook, they won't be able to figure out our secret strategy.

I wonder if I should go out and practice the nights that the team doesn't have practice. Okay, there are only two, but still, it could help.

* * *

Lily doesn't think that I should do any extra practice aside from team practice. Apparently, team isn't spelled with an "I".

But there is a "me".

She didn't like that either.

* * *

No noteworthy happenings with Lily. Well, I think everything about her is noteworthy, but I don't need to go back into stalker mode; so, I'll refrain from mentioning that she ate apple cinnamon oatmeal this morning, wore her hair in a ponytail, and painted her nails a light pink.

* * *

**I enjoy how you said you didn't want to go back into "stalker mode" but yet, you were able to tell us what she ate, how she wore her hair and the state of her fingernails. Now, it could be just me, but that's a bit stalkerish, James. **

It was not stalkerish. It was observant. Stalkerish would be me telling you that she stirred her oatmeal counterclockwise exactly five times before taking her first bite.

**Did she?**

Maybe.

**I rest my case.**

* * *

The match is today, and I have never been more ready for a game of quidditch than I am this morning. Gryffindor morale is running high, and the team is more than ready.

* * *

Need I even say it?

WE WON!

And Lily wore red and gold ribbons in her hair to show her Gryffindor spirit and pride.

_Don't forget her cloak._

She didn't have it that way intentionally.

_Oh, she was so angry about it. She tore the cloak from her shoulders and vowed never to touch it or even look at it for the rest of her life. I suppose she's out burning it right now. _

Don't be stupid.

_I'm just saying that she didn't seem to mind having "Potter" and "Chaser" imprinted on the back of her cloak. _

That's because we're friends and she was supporting the team. But she never would have had that on her cloak if you hadn't put it there.

_I thought you might like it. _

Well sure, but she said it herself, she liked it because "it shows my support for my friend and my Gryffindor spirit all in one."

_That's what she says, anyway._

Oh, bugger off. Like it meant any more to her than that.

_You never know._

Trust me, I know. And it isn't like that.

* * *

I don't like Herbology much. Besides getting to dig in the dirt, it's not too exciting. What's the practical use? I can guarantee you, once I'm out of Hogwarts I'm not going to be messing around with fanged plants that need repotting.

And today, that Stephen Perks guy had the audacity to ask Lily to Hogsmeade again. And with me standing three plants away! That guy doesn't give up, does he?

Fortunately for me, Lily politely turned him down, saying that she didn't feel that way about him. And then – and this is the part that gets me – Stephan said "It's because of James, isn't it?"

My first thought was that Stephan was saying that Lily was saying no to him because she was afraid of my reaction, but then Lily kind of twitched and answered "What? No!"

That made me feel oh-so good about myself. What? James? Him? Oh, no! No, no, no!

"It's okay if you like him, I understand."

"I don't like him. I just don't feel that way about you. Sorry."

Stephen said, yet again, that it was okay. Lily thanked him, and then -

"Good luck with James."

Stephen thinks that Lily likes me as more than a friend.

Shows how much he knows.

* * *

**Hmm… more clues. **

_Good ones, too. We're getting some concrete information now. _

**Too bad Prongs is so dense. It could all be resolved so quickly if he would just wake up. **

**I don't think so. A certain someone isn't admitting anything, and until that happens, nothing else can happen. The someone has to be sure of where they stand before Prongs can do anything. **

_It's a good thing I know what you were trying to say, because if I didn't, I would be really confused right about now._

**Well, I am. Someone care to explain all these "someone's" and "happenings" to me?**

_Later. _

* * *

Today was the last Hogsmeade visit of the year. Pity. I had a great time. I spent the afternoon walking around the village with Lily, Hestia, Remus, and Peter. Both Sirius and Alice were on dates, though not with each other. Sirius was off with some girl named Marlene and Alice was with Frank Longbottom.

Well, that was the way the day started, but all at once, the others announced that they would meet us at Three Broomsticks and walked off. I didn't even tell them to! That's how it used to be; before we'd get to Hogsmeade, I'd tell everyone to gradually leave me and Lily alone. But this time, they did it all on their own.

So Lily and I walked around, and I gave her commentated tour of the village. We ended up at Three Broomsticks and since everyone else hadn't arrived yet, we bought drinks and talked about what we planned to do with our summers.

I plan to:

Play quidditch

Write Lily

Have my friends over

Write Lily

Play some more quidditch

And write Lily a few more letters

Let's just say that Lily's going to be getting quite a bit of mail this summer.

* * *

****

**You're going to make her sick of you if you write her every bleeding moment.**

I'm not going to write more than a few letters a week.

**A few a week?**

Yeah, why?

**No reason.**

* * *

I could be studying.

I should be studying.

Exams are next week, after all. I'm not worried. I'll do fine, but I really should study.

I don't want to study.

I'll go study.

* * *

There are certain advantages to having the house prefects for friends. For example: Lily found me and Sirius selling "brain enhancing potion" (in actuality, it was a potion that makes you unable to sleep) to fifth years who were panicking about their O.W.Ls and instead of giving us detention, gave us a good scolding and a warning.

I remember a time when Lily would have given me a week's worth of detention for that, not that she wouldn't punish me now. She told me that she would if she caught us again, she would have to give us detention.

So we won't get caught again.

* * *

**Isn't that a bit undermining of Lily's authority? And mine as well?**

Maybe. But who says I'm really going to try and sell anymore of that stuff?

**Who says you aren't?**

Oh, fine. I won't sell any more of it.

* * *

I need a new hat. Snape has touched mine and therefore rendered it unusable.

See, at the end of the year feast tonight, when Dumbledore announced that Gryffindor had won the house cup, the guys and I stood up and threw our hats in the air and mine landed in Snape's goblet. What rotten luck.

Looking back on this year, things have really changed. I've changed. I mean, when I go back and read my earlier entries from this year, I sound different…obviously I sound younger but there's something else I can't quite put my finger on.

In any case, I've learned so much, not only the things they've taught us in the classroom but also about friendship and loyalty and perhaps even love.

* * *

Luck is on my side. My mum is friends with Lily's mum. They've been having tea together once a week! And this Sunday, her family is coming over for dinner!

It may be summer, but I'm getting the feeling that I'm going to be seeing quite a lot of Lily.

Life is good.

* * *

**Review Responses**

**AnneChristy:** It's pretty warm where I am too. We haven't had much rain and we're getting into drought conditions. As usual, thanks for the great review!

**InuBecka:** Yeah, James does need better passwords. But where would be the fun in that?

**Queen Of Day Dreams: **Well, you were right on the happy count, but no, I'm not in love and I'm not trying to get done before July16th. I'm just trying to get done before school starts so I only have to worry about one story during the school year.

**aussiechick249: **I like this story better too. I'm not quite sure what you're talking about…I have been updating much quicker lately…I do like to make sure my spelling and grammar and correct and that I accomplish everything I want to in a chapter before I post it. I don't believe in posting crappy chapters everyday just to please readers.

**Laughing Dragoness: **I like "warm-fuzzy" chapters too! They're my favorite!

**J.E.A.R.K.Potter: **Sorry, it's go to end! I love this story to pieces, but it can't go on forever. :-) :-(

**Abby: **Thanks! Yes, only two chapters left now. Nah, it wouldn't be any fun if James gave up on his passwords. See, he thinks he's being creative, but well, we know the truth:-)

**Ashley: **Thanks!

**illegiblewriter: **Thank you! Your review meant a lot to me. Not to be critical of the people who say "cute fic! Update!" but I really like it when people tell me what they enjoy about the story, or even what they'd like to see me do differently. That tells me that they really enjoy my story and get emotionally involved with the characters. It's very inspiring. You're right, James has grown so much. Sometimes I don't even realize I'm making him do the growing up – the words just come to me and I write them down and then I look back over them when I edit and think "He's really grown up!" :-D

**avovisto: **Yes, it will have eighteen chapters to match the eighteen chapters of the counterpart story.

**PsychoHaired: **Wow! You went to a lot of trouble to find my story! That makes me really happy! I'm, glad I portray the characters as you see them!

**Trapped Rabit: **I guess you could call it that, although I have to say I never thought of it as a feminine role. I think a guy can be head over heels too. My beta reader is just one my friends who's good at editing. She doesn't actually have a user name here, she just goes by ilovethedotgame to avoid using her real name. I'm not sure that that was what you're looking for, but I can't tell you any more than that.

**NinitademiBrooke: **I know what you're talking about! I've definitely done the staring thing myself. They are coming together –slowly. But that's to be expected since Lily's in denial and on a mission to forget her feelings for him and James is a little dense about the whole thing. He's so used to hoping that Lily will like him but not having her like him as any more than friends, the possibility that she might actually like him doesn't really cross his mind. At least for now. :-D


	17. Maybe, Just Maybe

Disclaimer: The ever-wonderful J.K Rowling owns all but the journal idea.

…………………

beta by: ilovethedotgame

…………………

Chapter Seventeen: Maybe, Just Maybe

…………………

James Potter

_Sirius Black_

**Remus Lupin**

**Peter Pettigrew**

* * *

Dear Lily,

How are you? I'm fine. How has your summer been?

Mum and I were wondering if you and your family would like to come for dinner on Sunday afternoon. Please, please come. Sirius is already driving me crazy. If you think he's bad at school, try living with him day in and day out.

Most of the time he's not too bad, but when he gets bored, watch out!

Please send me your reply as soon as humanly possible!

Sincerely, James

* * *

_Driving you nuts? What do you think you're doing to me?_ _

* * *

_

I bought a record player yesterday. Last summer I told Lily that I was going to, but never got around to it. So, yesterday I convinced dad and Sirius to come with me and help me pick one out.

While were we were out, I picked up some records that I heard at Lily's house and a few new ones that I heard on the radio. (yes, I listen to the muggle radio stations)

But "I'll Get You" by the Beatles is by far my favorite.

* * *

_I'm going mad and it's your fault. _

_You and your stupid record player. You've played that "I'll Get You" song so many times, I hear it in my head even when it's not playing!_

* * *

Twenty four hours until Lily and her family arrive!

* * *

Twenty three hours!

* * *

_If you dare write an hour by hour countdown and…I don't what I'll do, but I'll be forced to take drastic measures._

Spoil sport.

* * *

_He's singing in the shower. _

_I may kill him._

_One can only hope the neighbors don't come knocking on the door wanting to rescue whoever's being tortured, because that's what it sounds like. Either that or a wounded animal._

_Merlin, it's only six o'clock in the morning, what in the world is he doing up at this time of the day? _

_Oh, I forgot, Lily is coming today. That explains it. It doesn't make it any better, but it explains it. _

* * *

How dare you tell Lily that I was singing in the shower! And that I sounded like a "seagull that was being strangled" no less!

_I was telling the truth, mate. It was not a pretty sound. I may invest in a pair of earplugs. _

Or you could just soundproof your room.

_Even better. _

Now get out, I have important information to record.

_You're awfully pushy for a bloke who woke up the entire house with his shower singing. _

Get going!

_Oh, fine. I'll go fly around the pitch_

You do that.

Okay, he's gone. Prat. He made me seem like such an idiot when Lily was here. I don't need anyone to help me seem more idiotic; I do it just fine myself.

Lily's family arrived at approximately 6:30 and five seconds. Lily's family, minus Petunia, that is. She didn't come! What luck! It would seem that she opted to visit a friend's house instead. Maybe she remembered the pepper imps Sirius and I gave her…one can only hope.

Anyway, I was waiting by the door when they arrived and the moment the door bell rang I flung the door open and gave Lily a hug. I think her parents were a little startled. She hugged me back, and you know…she actually seemed to enjoy it. If I didn't know that she doesn't like me, I'd swear that she took a deep breath, as though trying to savor the moment and…remember how I smell…?

_Like a quidditch field, I expect. _

Why aren't you out on the pitch?

_It's raining. _

Go anyway.

_I'd rather sit here and add my two Knuts worth to your narrative._

What if I don't want your two Knuts worth?

_You're getting it anyway; you have no choice._

You always have a choice.

_You don't._

Oh fine! As I was saying, after we all went inside, I decided to show Lily my new record player. I thought it would interest her, since it's a muggle gadget, and she had probably forgotten all about my declaration to buy one.

_She had. _

I'm quite aware. And then Sirius stepped in and told her about my singing in the shower and said that it was ruining his health.

_It is!_

Did you really have to tell her that? I mean, honestly now. How was I supposed to respond to that? Merlin knows what she thought…probably that I'm a complete and utter loser. You are so lucky that you're still living.

After seeing my record player, we went outside and Sirius and I played quidditch while Lily watched. She would have played except she was wearing a skirt, and well, you know, that wouldn't have worked.

Sirius kept distracting me by waving at Lily and getting me to look at her, but I won in the end.

_Show off._

Lily enjoyed the match.

_What does that have to do with anything?_

I dunno.

_Next, we walked around the estate and showed Lily the grounds, including James' lily garden. _

You prat. You couldn't keep your mouth shut.

_When can I ever?_

Why did you have to tell her that I tend the garden myself? She never would have known; she would have just thought that they were more of my mum's flowers.

_If you could have seen both of your faces when I told her, you'd understand why. _

After dinner, Lily, Sirius, and I went back outside. Lily looked cold so I summoned my Appleby Arrows jacket for her to wear. She looked so nice in my jacket, even if it was a bit big on her. Wearing my jacket, Lily looked like she was my girlfriend.

The best part is she forgot she had my jacket on and wore it home. Granted, I'm now out a coat for a while, but who cares when Lily could be at her home, wearing my jacket?

_I care. I was going to borrow it. _

You are so insensitive.

* * *

I've written Lily a few letters and have received some back, but other than that, I have nothing to write on the Lily front.

* * *

Nothing to write.

I miss Lily.

* * *

Sirius, mum, and I have been invited to tea at Lily's house this Friday afternoon!

* * *

That interesting…and enlightening.

Tea was nice; Mrs. Evans is a wonderful cook. I think I ate too many scones though.

While we were out in the garden, my mum asked if Lily would show her the rest of the garden in the backyard. They weren't gone for long, but when they returned, Lily seemed a tad shocked. It wasn't shocked in a bad way, as though my mum had scolded her about breaking my heart or something. It was more like…pleasantly shocked. That is, if you can look pleasantly shocked. Must remember to ask Mum what she said to Lily.

Sirius, having never been in a muggle home, wanted a tour, so Lily showed us her house. Unlike pictures in the wizarding world, muggle pictures are stationary, and since Sirius had never seen muggle photographs, he was quite puzzled. He kept prodding the pictures with his wand, trying to get them to move. He nearly burned a hole in the wall.

In Lily's room, she has several photographs of her friends. One of them has all of the girls and all four of us guys in it. The girls are sitting on the couch in the common room and we're standing behind the couch. Naturally, I'm standing behind Lily.

All of the others are pretending to pull the girls' hair or give them bunny ears or something equally juvenile, but the photo me is leaning down and whispering in Lily's ear and running my hands through her hair.

Naturally, Sirius was highly amused by this picture. He went so far as to poke the picture with his wand and telling the picture me to kiss Lily.

And I did. The picture me, I mean. But you know what? The photo Lily kissed me back. Why did she do that? Aren't wizarding pictures supposed to reflect your feelings and personality? It doesn't make sense…

I got to talking about muggle sports with Lily's dad, and while were doing that, Sirius told Lily that he wanted to see her record collection again. So they disappeared up the stairs and into Lily's room, leaving me wondering what in the world was going on up there.

According to Sirius, nothing earth shattering happened. They talked about muggle music and the records she owns. I want to believe him, but there was this look in his eye when he said it that tells me there's more to the story than it seems.

I want to trust Sirius, but if he's hiding something from me…I don't know what to think. I mean, what could he and Lily talk about that he can't tell me?

* * *

_Prongs, I swear that nothing went on between Lily and me. We just talked. I promise. If there was a glint or whatever in my eyes, well, it's nothing bad. You'll find out what it means soon enough, I would think. Can't say any more than that, sorry._

_Oh, when you tell a story, you need to make sure you tell the whole thing. You left out the part about the Easter picture. See, there are lots of pictures of Lily and her sister on the walls at Lily's house. James stopped in front of one of Lily in this puffy white dress with a big bow in the back and pigtails in her hair. _

_He was looking at it when Lily told him not to because she hated the picture. James, being the lovesick prat that he is, said "Nah, you look cute in the picture."_

_And I, being the wonderful friend I am, said "So, you're saying that she doesn't look cute now?"_

_James gazed at Lily for a moment then said, "Cute is for little girls. Lovely is for young ladies."_

_I laughed. I couldn't help it. It was so funny. He didn't seem to realize just what he'd said right away, but when he did, he turned a dark pink color. _

* * *

Is it your life mission to humiliate me? After leaving Lily's I felt like becoming a hermit and going to live in a hole in the ground.

_Don't say that. You'd never actually do it anyway. _

Oh yeah?

_You'd miss me too much. _

Not right now.

_Bet you'd miss Lily._

I'd take her with me.

_Oh really?_

Well, I'd marry her first. It wouldn't be proper for us to live in the hole without first being married.

_I might have to let Lily know that she's going to marry you and spend the rest of her life living in a hole. _

You dare and I'll –

_What? Sing at me? Won't work –I've got my room sound proofed and a pair of earplugs. _

I'll find a new best friend, that's what.

_You wouldn't. _

If you tell her that, Remus is my new best friend.

_You know I would never actually tell her that. I have plenty of other incriminating stories about you to tell her. _

* * *

Oh, sweet Merlin. I'm Head Boy.

What was Dumbledore thinking? Was he thinking?

I can't be Head Boy! I've caused too much trouble, I – I mean, all the things I've done and I've been made Head Boy? Who wants a trouble-maker for a leader and disciplinary figure?

I thought for sure that Remus would be Head Boy. He's the logical choice. I mean, he's responsible and smart and…he's _Remus_. Everyone knows that Remus deserves the Head Boyship…what are people going to say when they realize that I'm Head Boy?

If the letter didn't have my name on it, I'd swear that it was sent to the wrong person.

I'll bet Lily is Head Girl. What will she say? She's certainly my friend, but she's Remus's friend too. She knows that he deserves it much, much more than I do.

I'm going to write to Remus.

* * *

Well, Remus just wrote back congratulating me on my newfound position. I thought he might be bit angry, but he says he's not. He says he's glad it's not him. Well, that solves that problem, but what about Lily?

I'd bet my broom that she thinks I'll abuse my power and hand out detentions to Slytherins left and right. But she'd be wrong. I won't.

If Snape looses a few more house points than usual, so be it, but I'm not going to target the other Slytherins just because I have a personal vendetta against Snape. Not all Slytherins are bad. There must be some nice ones…somewhere. I just haven't met them yet.

* * *

I asked mum what she said to Lily, but all she said was "That is a matter between Lily myself."

Blast.

* * *

We went shopping for school supplies in Diagon Alley today. Sirius and I met up with Remus, Lily, Hestia, Emmeline, and Alice in Florean Fortescue's Ice Cream Parlor.

It seems that Remus told Lily about me being the new Head Boy. And you know what? She's not angry. She doesn't think I'm wrongly chosen. She thinks I'll be a good Head Boy. She's glad.

* * *

Ihad a revelation while I was trying to sleep last night.

Now, I may be wrong, but I hope I'm not. All those mysterious conversations that the guys kept having in here, my jacket that has yet to be returned, the hug, and just a bunch of other small things that add up once you think about them…

Maybe, just maybe, Lily sees me as more than a friend. Like a boyfriend.

I hope I'm right.

Oh, Merlin, I hope I'm right.

* * *

**If anyone's wondering what James' mom said to Lily, or the exact dialogue of what Lily and Sirius talked about, check out Chapter Seventeen of "In This Journal". **

**Review Responses**

**Auramistealia:** Life is good. For me and James! I know what you mean about not knowing what to say in a review. I have the same problem. Every now and then when I read a bad one, I suggest a beta reader, but other than "great job" "good character portrayal", I never know what to say that sounds worthy enough of a good review.

**avovisto:** I'm glad you liked that part! It was my favorite part of the chapter as well!

**PickinWildFlowers:** I don't like those stories either, that's why mine isn't that way:-) I think that they really would have had to be friends first, considering Lily's feelings towards James in Book 5.

**AnneChristy:** I am actually working on another Lily/James story right now, called "Just One of Those Things". It's an alternate universe 3rd person fic that centers around the story of James, Hestia, and Lily. James and Hestia have been betrothed since they were two years old and now they're in seventh year. James starts to get feelings for Lily and vice versa. But, obviously, they can't do anything about it! Meanwhile, Sirius seems to have taken a liking to Lily, and Voldemort is gathering more and more followers. Part of the story will take place after Hogwarts in which James tries to get out of his betrothal, but there are a few obstacles in his way. I like it, but then I might be rather biased. :-)

Right now, I have no plans for another chapter length story after this one and my other one. I do have a vague idea for a one-shot, but no plans for another chapter length story. Maybe an idea will come to me though, who knows?

**JKRobsessed:** Sorry this update wasn't very quick, but I was visiting my grandparents, who don't have a computer, let alone internet connection.

**Lady Sonora the Black-Rose:** I'm glad it made you smile! Thanks!

**J.E.A.R.K.Potter:** No, sorry, only one more chapter left!

**Amber Tinted:** Glad to hear it! I was so worried when I first added Sirius and the guys in that someone was going to report me for stealing bluebottlebutterfly's story even if I hadn't. But yeah, since then, I've read other journals by James so I'm not too worried.

**InuBecka:** Thank you!

**aussiechick249:** Well, he's become a bit less naïve now. We'll have to see what happens with his revelation, hmm?

**Queen Of Day Dreams:** School starts August 17th for me. Oh joy. But I promise I will finish this story before then. I've got already got a bit of written, actually!

**hhfanx2:** Thank you very much! I'm very glad my story isn't one of those!

**NinitademiBrooke:** Well, I'm sorry to say that the next chapter will be the last. The counterpart only has 18, and I want to keep the chapter numbers the same. It's sad to think that this will be over, but I think you'll like the ending!

**Laughing Dragoness:** Me too! James is wonderful.

**Trapped Rabbit: **Yeah, that's some comfort to know that she'll like him back eventually. Or already does!

**Abby:** Yeah, I would stall much longer if I were going to study too, but James is really smart (at least when it comes to school!) and probably wouldn't have to study as long as I would. Studying probably isn't that much of a chore for him. The next chapter will definitely be an "aw" chapter!

**DOJ:** You know, despite what James says, he really doesn't mind his friends writing in his journal. You're right. It doesn't faze him at all. Well, I'll be looking for that one-shot! Thanks for the great review! It made me smile!

**KairiQueen:** I actually have read the "Protector of the Small" series, but thanks for the suggestion anyway:-) Thanks for nice review!


	18. An Ending

**Disclaimer:** The ever-wonderful J.K Rowling owns all but the journal idea.

…………………

**beta by:** ilovethedotgame

…………………

**Chapter Eighteen: An Ending**

…………………

James Potter

_Sirius Black_

**Remus Lupin**

**Peter Pettigrew**

* * *

**dragonflamz, if you're still out there reading this, way back, towards the end of "In This Journal", you said that when James asked Lily out there had to be candles and I said I'd work it into counterpart. Well - here you go. **

* * *

So, after my brilliant revelation that Lily may fancy me, I got to wondering - how did I ever miss it? 

It was only glaringly obvious. My friends knew, and I'm sure her friends knew; the only one who didn't know was me. Merlin, even Stephen Perks knew!

Am I really that dense? All of those hints the guys kept dropping – how did I not see it? Was I that busy holding a pity party for myself that I completely missed all those hints and clues?

I never thought Lily would ever see me as more than a close friend…I mean, I certainly hoped, but…I allowed my doubt to overshadow the signs.

* * *

_Well it's about time that you woke up. And here I was thinking I was going to have to spell it out for you. Remember when we were at Lily's and I went up to her room with her?_

How could I forget?

_I lied when I said we talked about muggle music. _

Then what did you talk about?

_You. _

Me?

_Yes, you. And how she fancies you. _

And?

_She's just waiting for you to ask her out, mate._

Is she really?

_Would I lie to you about Lily?_

Any hints about how I'm supposed to go about asking her out?

_Nope. You're supposed to figure it out yourself. _

I'll have to think about this…It requires lots of thought and planning.

_Make sure you have candles._

What?

_Set the mood. Candles are supposed to be romantic. _

I'll pass, thanks.

* * *

The start of term begins tomorrow, and I'm not going to deny that I'm nervous. 

I'm Head Boy, and I have no prior prefect experience.

It's my last year, and we have N.E.W.T's coming up at the end of term.

Lily fancies me, and I have to think of a way to ask her out.

How in the name of all that is good and holy am I supposed to do that? I mean, I don't want to see her first thing and ask her out. I need to be 100 sure that she's going to say yes. But how do I hide that I know that she fancies me?

My life is so screwed up. Or maybe it's just me. Probably just me, screwing up my own life.

* * *

_Oh, don't say things like that. You know it's not true. You like Lily, and Lily likes you; life should be good, right?_

In theory.

_Then what's the problem?_

You're sure she likes me?

_What happened to your confidence? You were sure she did yesterday. She does, Prongs. I swear on your first born child's life. _

Why my first born? What's wrong with yours?

_I'm not going to get married, let alone have kids. But we're getting off subject. I know for certain! I tricked her by telling her that Alice told me that she fancied you, and then she admitted it. _

She admitted it?

_Yes!_

* * *

I'm going to be seeing Lily in less than two hours. 

I think I'm going to be sick.

_You are not going to be sick. Pull yourself together and act like a man. You're going to act normal. End of story. _

I'm going to act normal. Nothing is different. I don't know anything that I shouldn't.

_No, you should know, you just have to pretend that you don't know for awhile so you can figure out how to ask her out properly. _

Okay. Be a man. I can do this. I can do this.

_That's my boy. _

* * *

Well, I lived through my first prefect meeting. I'm so glad it's over. I mean, it went smoothly and everything. It was just that initial meeting where everyone sees that I'm the new Head Boy and gets a first impression of how I'll do. 

I think I managed to act normal when I saw Lily again. I offered to put her trunk away for her, which her father seemed to approve of. I really think he's warming up to me. I suppose it's only natural for him to be protective of his youngest daughter. If I had a daughter, I'd be protective of her if she came home with a bloke who used to stalk her.

But as I've said, I don't think that she knows that Iknow. I definitely need some time to think about this and assess the situation.

* * *

**Congratulations, James! I knew you'd figure it out!**

**Someday. **

**Really though, about time, mate! Out of everyone I've ever met, including Lily and her denial of her feelings for you, you are the most in denial person that I have ever met.**

**What was Prongs in denial about?**

**About how Lily fancies him.**

**Oh. Right.**

* * *

I'd forgotten! I'm not sure how, but I had! Oh, this is great; this is….wonderful beyond words! 

Once a week, as part of my Head Boy duties, I get to patrol the hallways with Lily!

Fate has smiled upon James Potter at last!

* * *

I love hall patrols. Lily and I are able to roam about the school and just talk. Just talk about anything and everything. It's really helped to strengthen our friendship. 

**When are you going to ask her out?**

I don't know! When I think of something brilliant, I suppose.

**It'll be while then. **

Yeah, probably…hey! Take that back!

* * *

I had an interesting conversation with Lily tonight during hall patrols. (No, I did not ask her out.) 

We were talking about how I used to be such a mischief maker, and how it was ironic that I was now the one punishing the other students for being out of bed and then Lily asked if I still snuck out sometimes.

What was I going to do? Lie to her? I still sneak out every now and then. Granted, not as often as I used to, but I still do.

I was expecting some sort of rebuke for being a hypocritical Head Boy, but instead she asked if she could come with! And who was I to refuse her? So I told her Sirius and I would take her to the kitchens some time.

I'm still having trouble comprehending this…Lily Evans wants to break the rules.

I underestimated her.

* * *

"_Lily likes me!"_

_Nice password. That's going to keep people out of your journal, all right. _

* * *

This is a notebook! 

N – o – t – e – b –o –o –k!

* * *

Two years. 

It's been two years since I first asked Lily out.

If I had thought about it, I should have asked her out tonight as some sort of symbolic thing, but it's a little late for that now. I don't think she'd take kindly to a midnight visitor, no matter who it is.

I still can't believe what a prat I was then. I mean, I actually devoted spare time to wondering why she didn't like me. I couldn't comprehend how someone could find the thought of dating me repulsive.

I'm glad I got my act together, or I might be still acting like a prat, standing on tables and asking Lily out.

* * *

**Is James avoiding Lily?**

**Not that I know of. **

_What do you mean avoiding her? Why would he be avoiding her?_

**He just never seems to be around anymore. When he's not in the common room she keeps looking for him.**

**Now that you mention it, Lily approached me the other day and asked if James still liked her.**

_Are you joking?_

**No, why?**

_She asked you that under the impression that you don't know about her feelings for James?_

**She didn't do it on purpose. In fact, she seemed a bit upset that she had let the secret slip.**

**What secret? Everyone knows that she fancies him. **

_I heard some younger students talking about them today in the halls. They think that Lily and James are secretly going out but don't want anyone to know because of their Head Boy and Head Girl Positions. _

**What does that have to do with anything?**

**They have to patrol the halls together…at night.**

**Oooh. So people think that they're not saying anything so the teachers won't know and they can snog in dark corners instead of patrolling?**

_Exactly. _

**But it's not true. **

**How do you know?**

_How do we know?_

**Because James would tell us if he asked Lily out. After two years of chasing her, he wouldn't be able to shut up about it.**

_Yeah, but still…_

**Think we should check it out?**

**Just what are you suggesting?**

_Follow them of course, using James's cloak._

**Absolutely not! I have faith in James that he would tell us.**

What are you writing in here? Remus, I need you to be taking notes so I can copy yours!

_Nothing. You can borrow mine. _

You aren't even taking notes!

_But if I was you'd be more than welcome to copy them._

Some help you are.

You think that Lily and I are already dating? Come on, you guys, you know that you'll be the first to know when I ask her out.

_Make sure there are candles._

Enough with the candles!

* * *

Sweet reassurance. 

Lily still has more than platonic feelings for me.

Maybe I should explain. See, we were in Transfiguration and McGonagall had told us to practice the spell we were learning. Lily was having a bit of trouble, and since I'm fairly adept at Transfiguration, and her friend, she asked me for a bit of help.

Things were going smoothly; she was quickly mastering the spell, but then she ever so slightly mispronounced the "arr" sound at the end and caused a bunch of smoke to come out of her wand with a loud bang that sent her flying backwards.

Right into my arms. How convenient. I couldn't have planned it any better myself.

So I wrapped my arms around her and set her back on her feet. But I forgot (or not) to let go of her. Merlin, Lily has the most unique eyes I've ever seen. They're such a brilliant shade of green. Most people with green eyes have a deep, dull kind of color, but hers almost shine…

So there we stood, looking into each other eyes, and I could tell. It was there, just as plain as day. I'd always heard that the eyes were the windows into your soul, but I never believed it until today. Her eyes were saying "tell me that I'm yours".

Well, I plan to soon. Make no mistake about that. I just want to make sure it's something worthy of her.

* * *

Would anyone mind terribly if I showed Lily my invisibility cloak when we take her down to the kitchens? 

_Fine my me._

**I have no problem with it.**

**Show your cloak to the Head Girl?**

I'm the Head Boy.

**Good point. I keep forgetting that you're Head Boy. It's hard to see you in a disciplinary role. **

Dumbledore knows about my cloak. If he's not going to do anything about it who will? And besides, as my future girlfriend, Lily has a right to know about the cloak.

**Are you going to show her the map too?**

If you don't mind…

**Not at all.**

_Go for it, mate._

* * *

Well, our excursion to the kitchen was fun. But I must say, the best part was seeing Lily's reaction to the map and my invisibility cloak. 

I could almost see the wheels in her head turning as she figured out that back in fifth year the map was the reason I always knew where to find her no matter how hard she tried to hide from me.

* * *

Today in Charms it came to me how to ask Lily out! I'm more of an idiot than I thought! It doesn't have to be brilliant or super creative or some big to-do. It has to be simple and heartfelt. That's all she wants. 

I don't have to plan some big event at all. I can just ask her while we're alone. That's it. That's all it's going to take. All I need to be is myself.

I'll ask her tonight while we're doing rounds.

* * *

_Shouldn't they be back by now? _

**I don't know.**

_Everyone who's anyone knows that rounds do not last until one o'clock in the morning. Even on a busy night James is always back before midnight._

**Yeah, but it's not every night that he asks Lily Evans out either.**

_I hope Prongs remembered candles._

**Somehow, I think he'll manage without them. **

_But it was such a great idea! Girls love candlelight!_

**Maybe, but don't you think it would be a tad inconvenient for James to carry around a bunch of candles in his pockets? I mean, really, what's he going to do? Pull them out, set them on the ground in a circle, and tell Lily to sit in the middle? Then ask her out once he's lit all the candles? I think not.**

_Fair point._ _But it was still a great idea…Where's Wormtail?_

**Asleep. Like we should be. **

_He can't be. I can't hear his snoring. _

**That's because I put a silencing charm around his bed.**

_Good thinking._

**Why are we writing in here, when you're in the bed across from me?**

_Because I like using these quills James invented. We're writing on separate sheets of parchment, but it's all ending up in James's journal. _

**I suppose they are rather handy. **

_Especially when we use them in class instead of – is that footsteps?_

* * *

I haven't felt this elated since I made the quidditch team back in second year! 

Lily Evans is my girlfriend. Life is more than good, more than great! Life is absolutely perfect!

We were walking along in companionable silence when I asked her something that I've been wondering for quite some time: why does she sign her letters "always, Lily Evans"?

She told me that she signs them that way because she says she'll always be Lily Evans. I told her that I wouldn't bet on it.

Naturally, she wanted to know why, so I told her that I assumed that she was going to get married at some point. I mean, that was a natural conclusion, wasn't it? Unless she was going to become a nun, which was quite unlikely since I highly doubt that she'd spend seven years in a magical school if she was destined for the abbey.

Of course, that's not what I said. The nun thing, I mean. I told her that I assumed that she was going to get married someday because the bloke that lets her get away is a complete idiot.

"What's so great about me?"

"What's not so great about you?"

So I told her how I admire her virtues and even her faults. Then I said "If the fact that I like the way you bite your fingernails when you're nervous or the way that you chew on the tips of your sugar quills instead of sucking on them or the way that you drum your fingernails on the desk when you're bored or the way that I forget all my troubles when I'm with you doesn't convince you of my feelings then…I give up."

That's right. I said "I give up." Not that I had any intention of doing so. I just said it to make sure I had her attention although I'm sure I had it.

Lily then told me that you can't help who you fall for and for a brief second I thought that she was going to admit her feelings right then and there, but she didn't. I should have known; Lily staunchly believes in the guy doing the confessing and asking. Not that I mind doing either.

So I realized that she was hinting at her feelings in the most subtle way she could, but I had something to say that had been a long time coming before I could ask her out.

I apologized (again) for my behavior in fifth year and thanked her for her patience and friendship. And I told her that this was the last time I was going to ask her out (because I knew I wouldn't have to in future). And then I said, "Lily, would you go out with me? I would like to be able to call you my girlfriend."

I expected a shy smile and a quiet yes, but instead I got a kiss. And not just a peck on the cheek, this was a full on the mouth kiss!

Obviously, I was a bit surprised since I've always been the one to instigate mistletoe kisses in the past, but I soon got over the initial shock and kissed her back.

It felt wonderful to be able to fully kiss her, pulling her close to me and having her run her hands through my hair.

After I pulled away, I asked her if the kiss meant yes, and she said, of course it did. Well, actually what she said was, "Of course it's a yes, you prat! I wouldn't kiss just anybody like that."

So I asked her if that was any way to treat her boyfriend, and we were both leaning in for another kiss when I heard someone behind me clear their throat.

I pulled out my wand and turned around, fully expecting to find Snape or someone from his group, but who I found was Professor Dumbledore.

Lily was blushing beet red, (making her look absolutely adorable) and I'm sure my face was also rather pink. I mean, we're the Head Boy and Head Girl; we were just caught on the brink of snogging in the hallways while we were supposed to be patrolling making sure that other students weren't doing exactly what we were doing!

Now, I know Dumbledore fairly well since he knows my parents and prior to this year, I spent a good deal of time in his office, but I still expected some sort of punishment and rebuke.

But it didn't come. He congratulated us! Dumbledore told us that he had just been saying to professor McGonagall that this was the year were going to start dating. Then he asked to talk to me in private for a second.

So I followed him, wondering what in the world he could possibly have to say to me. All I could think of was that he was going to reprimand me away from Lily to spare her the embarrassment.

Instead, he told me that he knew that I was aware that Lily is a wonderful girl and that it would be terrible to lose what I had found. He said that although he couldn't ensure the road will always be smooth, if I treated Lily as though she were more important than the air I breathe, that our love would prevail. He then congratulated me again and shook my hand.

Well, Dumbledore's advice won't be won't be too hard, seeing as Lily is more important than the air I breathe.

I love her.

I honestly, truly do. There is no other way to explain what I'm feeling. It's not just excitement that she's now my girlfriend or infatuation or lust. It's complicated, but in such a wonderful way. I admire her, and I respect her; she is my friend and my equal in all respects. I can't wait for the moment when I'll next see her and have her intense green eyes gazing at me. Or the way she smiles at me. I long for the conversations we have. Most of it might seem insignificant and trivial, but it means everything to me.

If that's not love, what is?

Of course, I can't tell her yet. I don't need to scare her off before we've even been together for twenty four hours. Besides, I'm sure she doesn't love me yet. I've had feelings for her much longer than she's had feelings for me, and I've had longer to think about how I'm feeling.

In any case, Lily and I returned to the common room and instead of going up to bed we talked for long while. I asked her how long she had had more than friendly feelings for me and it turns out that she's liked me since about Valentine's Day last year.

That long and I never knew! I was blinder than I had originally thought! Although it turns out that she was in denial until this summer. Good Merlin, that's a long time to be in denial. Maybe one day I'll ask her why she wouldn't admit it sooner.

After such a long time of disliking me, I asked Lily what finally changed her mind about me. I expected something along the lines of a certain event where she saw the real me for the first time, or something like that, but she said it was just me growing up that changed her mind.

We talked a bit more, but then because it was rather late (like one o'clock in the morning late) we decided to head up our respective dormitories and go to bed. I could really get used to goodnight kisses.

Naturally, the moment I got in the door, Sirius and Remus practically pounced on me wanting to know what had happened, so I related the whole story to them. So now I'm going to bed, because I have classes in the morning and Merlin knows that it's going to be hard enough to concentrate tomorrow as it is, without falling asleep every few minutes.

* * *

_It's still hard to believe that you're dating Lily… _

I'm still reeling from the shock myself.

**Or from the kiss you got just before class.**

**Aren't the Head Boy and Head Girl supposed to discourage displays of public affection?**

Probably.

_Peter's right; we're going to have to keep on eye on you and Lily, make sure you aren't abusing your power. _

Don't you dare! I will not having you following us around! I'll hide my cloak and the map.

_The map is one fourth mine. _

**And mine. **

**And mine. **

Remus! You're supposed to be on my side!

**I am. The map is one fourth mine, and I say we leave James and Lily alone. **

_You're such a spoil sport, Moony. _

**It's my job. **

* * *

Lily and I are going on our first official date tonight. We're sneaking out of the castle to the Three Broomsticks. It's not exactly original and far from creative, but options are limited.

* * *

I've got to thinking about it, and there really isn't a reason for me to write in here anymore. The guys and I use it to write notes in during class, but we can do that on ordinary parchment. 

The whole idea of this notebook was to write about how to ask Lily Evans out, and now that I've done that, it seems pointless to continue writing.

So I guess that this is the end.

* * *

It's beenthree years since I've last written in this notebook and a lot of things have happened since then. 

Lily and I dated all through seventh year and for one year after Hogwarts. Then, after I asked her father's permission and Lily said yes, we became engaged on the anniversary of the date we became a couple. (November 15th)

Tomorrow I'm going to marry Lily Evans. She'll become Mrs. Lily Potter, and we'll be together until death do us part. I'm more excited than words can properly express. Lily will be my wife, and we'll raise a family and grow old together.

I am the luckiest bloke on the face of the earth. Truly, I am. I don't deserve her. All I can do is make sure that I treat her right and am always there for her when she needs me, and even when she doesn't.

I'm entering a new stage in my life with Lily by my side. And there she'll stay.

* * *

"This place should have been cleaned out ages ago," Lily muttered to herself, brushing a strand of deep red hair out her eyes as she did so. 

Shifting aside several large boxes, Lily pushed her way through the large attic of her home in Godric's Hollow, trying to decide what to throw away and what to save. Suddenly, something caught her eye.

There in the corner, underneath a bag of old clothing sat a worn, grimy cardboard box with a drawing of a lion on the side. Removing the bag of clothes, Lily found that something had been hastily scribbled on of the worn box flaps. "Hogwarts" it simply said in James' bold script.

Filled with curiosity, Lily reached for the box and pulled it gently towards her. Carefully pushing aside the cardboard flaps, Lily peered into the box to see what appeared to be a photo album. Opening it up, she was delighted to find pictures that spanned their Hogwarts years. In the beginning, the pictures were mostly of James, Sirius, Remus, and Peter, but as the years passed, Lily and her friends began to show up more and more frequently in the pictures.

Turning a page, she smiled and felt tears form in the corners of her eyes. It was of her and James: their first picture as a couple. They were sitting in the common room on the large couch in front of the fireplace, simply looking into one another's eyes, enjoying each other's presence.

Reaching into the box again, Lily pulled out several Zonko's product wrappers with dates written on them. "27 April 1975, used outside of the Transfiguration classroom at apx. 2:10 p.m. Received one night's detention." "This firework was used to blow up one of Filch's confiscated items box on 1 December 1976. Received two weeks worth of detentions."

Several more random items such as a broomstick servicing kit, James' quidditch arm guards, letters from his parents, and a few quills followed, but it was the book that caught Lily's attention. She hadn't seen it in years, not since James had shown it to her that December in sixth year. His journal, or notebook as he liked to call it, dedicated to figuring out ways to get her to go out with him.

Opening it slowly, Lily read the first paragraph out loud. "This is not a journal. It is an idea notebook. And in this notebook, I, James Potter, am going to write down ideas on how to ask Lily Evans out and then record the results."

Lily couldn't help herself. She laughed; she laughed until tears streamed down her face. It had been so ironic that both she and James had unknowingly kept journals about the other for two years. Of course, James had shown his to her in their sixth year, but she had never shown him hers. Maybe she would yet. Someday.

In the nursery, little Harry began to cry. Rushing to soothe his crying, she lifted him out of his crib and held her son close, stroking his silky black hair. _Just like James'_ she thought with a small smile.

Returning to her room, she grabbed James's journal and took both it and Harry into the living room. Lily carefully set the little boy down in his playpen, where he instantly began chewing on one of his toys, and settled herself down on the couch. Tucking her feet underneath her, Lily began to read, allowing her to relive her time at Hogwarts.

* * *

James Potter entered the living room to find his son trying to escape his playpen and his wife asleep on the couch, a book in her hands. 

"Whoa there, Harry," He picked up his son and tossed him gently in the air. "It's not nice to try and escape when Mummy's asleep!"

After setting Harry back in his playpen, James took a seat next to his sleeping wife and gently shook her by the shoulder. "Lily?"

"Hmm?" Lily began to stir. When she realized that she had fallen asleep, she sat up straight, a faint blush staining her cheeks as James saw what she was laying in her lap.

"I see you've found my old notebook," James commented lightly and took the book from her, thumbing through it.

"Admit it James," Lily teased as he read an entry in Sirius's handwriting. "It was a journal. James Potter, Quidditch extraordinaire, and maker of mischief kept a journal."

"All right, all right," James admitted as he pulled Lily close for a kiss, hazel eyes sparkling with mirth. "It was a journal."

Pulling away, Lily grinned. "Too bad Sirius wasn't around to hear you say that. He's been waiting for years for you to admit that it was a journal."

"I can admit it to you, you're my wife, but Sirius is…well, he's Sirius," James explained with a laugh. "And you never admit to Sirius that you're wrong over trivial matters. It's just not done. What?" James asked, noticing the way Lily's laughter had stopped and her eyes had softened as she looked at him.

"I was just thinking how much I love you," Lily admitted, resting her head on his chest, causing his heart to do a funny flip-flop.

"I love you too, my Lily," James leaned down and kissed the crown of Lily's head, her soft red curls like satin under his lips.

Wrapping their arms around each other, Lily and James sat comfortably enjoying one another's presence until Lily spoke again.

"I have something to show you later."

"Mhmm," James replied, his face buried in Lily's hair.

There was a long pause, then -

"Say it again."

"Say what? That I love you?"

Lily smiled softly. "No, but you're more than welcome to. I want to hear you admit that you kept a journal again."

James grinned widely, feeling for reasons he couldn't explain, an unrivaled happiness welling up in his chest.

"I, James Potter, kept a journal. Not an idea notebook, but a journal. And in it I explained how much I wanted a chance with a stubborn girl named Lily Evans. She finally gave me my chance, and now she's Lily Potter, my wife and the mother of my son. And I love her more than life itself."

Tears of happiness pooled in Lily's eyes. "I'm glad you kept that journal, James."

A tear escaped Lily's emerald eyes and James slowly leaned forward to kiss it away. "I am too, Lily. I am too."

**The End**

* * *

**Review Responses: **

**avovisto:** I liked that line too! Very Sirius.

**NinitademiBrooke:** I know what you mean. I want them together, but that means the story ends:-(

**rainbowishprincess:** Thanks! I'm glad that you chose to review now:-D

**Totog:** Eh, I know! I keep messing that word up! I think I've gotten better about it now; I had someone else point it out too once. Thanks for pointing it out though!

**J.E.A.R.K.Potter:** Thanks for reviewing all these chapters and all those ones in "In This Journal". You've been following this story and it's counterpart from nearly the very beginning and that has meant so much to me to see you review every chapter!

**diamonte:** Yeah, Peter is a bit slow. Thanks for the wonderful review!

**Laughing Dragoness:** :-D I know what you were trying to say. Thanks for all the nice reviews!

**Auramistealia:** Very true. I can't stand stories where she falls in love with him even though he's the biggest jerk. He had to have grown up first.

**Queen Of Day Dreams:** Thanks for always being so enthusiastic in your reviews! I really appreciate it!

**DOJ:** I do the same thing! I'll laugh out loud because of something I've read in one of my favorite fan fics and everyone looks at me like there's something wrong with me:-) Thanks for all the wonderful reviews!

**aussiechick249:** Well, yes, obviously, it has reached the end. Thanks for the review!

**InuBecka:** Thanks for the review!

**AnneChristy:** Sorry you didn't find out what had happened in the garden in the chapter, I already had stuff planned, so I'll just tell you here. Basically, she thanked Lily for helping James to grow up. She also said that she had always wanted a daughter, and maybe someday Lily would be something like a daughter to her. ;-) Thanks for all the great reviews!

**Trapped Rabbit:** James is pretty grown up now though, he's getting better at seeing the obvious. Thanks for all the reviews!

**G Ann:** Thank you!

**erisedxdesire:** I'm glad that you found my stories too:-D It's too bad this has to end just when you've found it, but I guess that's how it goes. Thanks for the review!

**UNKNOWN3:** Thank you so much:-D

**illegiblewriter:** hehe, that's a good way to put it! I did enjoy Book 6; it was very sad at the end, but overall, it was great! I hope you liked it too! Thanks for all of the wonderful reviews:-)

**Abby:** Well, now that you've read this chapter, you'll realize that there's no need for a sequel! There's really no where else for it to go. Thanks for the review!

**Okay, just in case anybody didn't get what Lily was going to show James later, she was going to show him her journal from Hogwarts. **

**If you like my writing, check out my current story, "Just One of Those Things", an AU story about Lily and James and their struggle to be together despite all the obstacles in their way. And there are quite a few! **

**Thank you to all who have reviewed this story. Know that your reviews have meant so much to me; more than I can properly express with words. All I can say is thank you! **


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